TTC - First time home insemination

[libbyidk]

First time posting so bare with me.

We are in a same sex relationship, and I just thought i'd share our story so far to see if anyone else is going through the same or has any advice/tips for myself and my partner.

We first went to a private clinic, and payed hundreds for scans, blood tests, screening etc, only to be told my partner couldn't donate her eggs (we were counting on this as it lowers the price by about 3-4000 pounds!), we were then told we should try IUI at the clinic which would cost us about 2-3000 pounds. We went home after this appointment and had a chat, we decided to try home insemination first, and if it doesn't work after 2 times, we will then go back to the clinic, but I wasn't finding them very helpful, and they were quite rude to us!

We searched online for sperm banks and came across cryos in denmark. We researched all the legal complications and know all about it, and decided as so many people do try this, we were going to as well. We ordered our anonymous washed donor sperm (MOT20) 2 vials (all we could afford.)

It arrived on tuesday (it lasts for 7 days in a nitro tank), and I started using the clear blue dual hormone predictor kit. I also use a fertility app and have been vaguely monitoring my cervical mucas. I tested negative from monday (the start of my fertility window) until yesterday (friday) i went straight from negative to peak on the clear blue monitor! I researched this to make sure it was right and I saw that a lot of people go straight from low to peak, especially if they missed their surge (which i may have done). The app also said I was due to have peak fertility friday and saturday, so i'm confident in the test and we decided to inseminate one vial on friday at 6pm (8 hours after my positive result) and we inseminated again on sunday at 6am. Just before I had the insemination, I was getting pretty bad cramps and I think ovulation may have started, although i'm not 100%. I got some cramp after inseminating too.

Frozen sperm lives in the body for 12-24 hours (apparantly) but some swimmers can last longer. So we inseminated at 6pm which will cover me (hopefully) until 6pm saturday, whilst also inseminating at 6am saturday which would cover me until 6am (hopefully) sunday. We sat and talked constantly about the timing but we just decided to go for it, as like everybody says, even if the timing is perfectly right and your CM is perfect, there is still only a 10-20% chance of conception.

I'm just praying my clearblue test was correct and my peak is friday and saturday like it shows. (My app also shows this like i said). I have a 29 day cycle and it's hardly EVER irregular, so I think we've done all what we should have.

Now we're onto our two week wait which i'm not looking forward to! Like I keep saying to myself, it is our first time trying and we could have done a number of things wrong. It is just trial and error from here on out! If anyone else wants to share their story about home insemination with frozen sperm, using clearblue monitors / success stories, i would really appreciate that!

I'm glad I'm not the only one who has been baby shopping @bithebi I literally have everything in fact the baby will probably not wear most of the clothes I've bought (I may have got a little over excited - but they're so cute!). Well maybe not quite everything there is a base for the car seat, a Moses basket stand and cor bedding that I need but I have pretty much everything else. My living room looks a little like mothercare!! It's a double edge sword though part of me loves looking at that stuff and the other part is reminding every month that I still don't have a baby to need it.

@waiting2BAMummy thanks for your reply, makes me feel less weird about striking up a conversation and moving forward with it if it feels right. I’m guessing it’s very easy to spot the frauds.

Good luck with your try this month @dosmamas fingers crossed for your BFP

Hi @Dosmamas I'm CD17 now and ov tomorrow but I'm having a poas free month this month due to house moving situation, I also have to have a small op in the next few weeks so might put me out for a couple of cycles, I'll be cheerfully stalking you all though :)
Good luck!!! Xxx

How is everything going with the move @Freezerbump? Hope everything goes well with your op x

How is everyone?

I've been working in the garden today. Feeling very proud of myself for how much I've done.

Hope all's going well with everyone. How are you feeling post insemination @Dosmamas?

Hi guys, @Waiting2BAMummy survey on mine booked, just hoping that it all goes smoothly down the chain now.. I've done all I can, but it feels right, I have no anxiety about the move so I think that's a good sign.

@Dosmamas how're you chick? How's the mil visit going ??!!

@bitheby well done you!!! (Do you do home visits? Mine could do with sorting!!)

@TimeIhadaNameChange how's tricks lovely?

Morning ladies,

How are we all?

Sorry in advance I'm going to have a whine. I'm so fed up right now. My CD 13 & 14 fall this weekend which is when I would expect to get my positive OPK.

I've booked a hotel room to travel up friday night and stay until monday (which I would have extended if need be) and I've booked next week off work so I can stay as long as I need to in order to catch the optimum days.

I use the dual hormone clearblue ovulation kit and I started testing this month yesterday (CD7) this morning I got my first flashing smiley face which indicates a rise in estrogen levels but also means I am likely to get my static sometime between now and friday.

I really don't know what to do. I have to give 2 weeks notice to take holiday from work so cannot take time off this week. I don't finish work until 5.30pm and do not currently have my own car so I either have to hire a car or catch the train meaning I don't even get up to where my donor lives until after 9pm so he generally prefers to come early the next morning which I can't do because I have to get back for work.

I'm SO fed up right now if I can't try again this month that's 2 months I haven't attempted.

Sorry whinge over!

How are you feeling, Dosmamas? Hope all's going well with your MIL. Does she know you're trying to conceive?

bitheby - Sounds like you should be proud of yourself! Not that I'm a gardener, mind. DP's been buiding a new shed over the weekend. It's far from finished, but he's made great progress. It's for him to escape to away from me and the baby! But apparently I can go and hang out there and he'll look after the child from time to time. He's also planning on moving half the contents of the house into it. Apparently I'm not allowed books around the child...! (Ok, it's not quite that, I think he's worried about the dust issue.)

Freezerbump - Good luck with the house. Sounds exciting, but stressful!

Waiting2BAMummy - only a few days to go, how exciting! Are you staying in a nice hotel or are you slumming it?

You know how I said I was going to skip a cycle, well it seems I'm not. Have a tank due for delivery at the end of this week! Was slightly peeved that, having arranged this yesterday morning, DP then arranged to go down to meet up with one of his children at the beginning of next week, rather than at the end, as that would coincide with ovulation. I was only slightly peeved as she lives in the south so he can't see her often, and I'm sure I can cope with doing it myself. However, he immediately realised the clash so has decided to go down later, which makes me feel guilty! I just hope she isn't bothered that he's putting this before seeing her. I don't think she will be, but she could.

@TimeIhadaNameChange that's great news, fingers crossed for you.

It may not only be a few days - I have a feeling I will be getting my positive OPK before friday which means there will be no point in travelling up there on friday night so probably not going to be able to try again this month.

@Waiting2BAMummy

I've never used the clear blue ovulation sticks but I've read that some women get smiley faces for days before a static. What's your usual pattern, do you know? You might not be out yet, although earlier is better than later.

Any chance of getting Friday off so you can go straight up Thursday?

@bithebi I've only been using them since January in January I didn't get a static smiley face at all but I think I was testing too far apart and missed my surge. In february I had flashing for 3 days and got my static in the afternoon of day 4 and last month I had flashing for 2 days and got my static in the afternoon of day 3 so I think I'm out.

I won't be able to get friday off as we have to give 2 weeks notice for annual leave and my boss gets really funny about taking time off, even holiday, although she takes it whenever she wants.

@Waiting2BAMummy I think you'll be ok, ov is supposed to be 24-48 hours after surge so as long as you get on with it as soon as you arrive you should be ok :)

@Freezerbump my donor can't do friday night he's coming saturday morning so if I get my positive on wednesday it's too late.

I guess I just have to wait and see I'm winding myself up which is ridiculous because whatever happens I can't change it and if I stress myself out I might cause it to happen earlier.

How is everyone today?
@bithebi any sign of a start date yet?

@Dosmamas how are you feeling post insemination?

@TimeIhadaNameChange you all set for your delivery at the end of the week?

@Freezerbump have you started packing ready for your move yet?

Hello

I had an email today to say that my DBS has gone through. So that's good. I have occupational health medical next week. It's important to do that as i haven't worked full time for a while and not since my diagnosis so I want to make sure I'm fully covered in case things get overwhelming.

So I'm assuming I won't start the following week as it'll be Easter but possibly the week after?

Am getting on ok at doing some things round the house that have needed doing a while. My autism manifests in a real difficulty with organising the house. I have degrees, including an Oxbridge one and professional qualifications and blah blah blah but keeping a house tidy is completely beyond me.

So this is a good opportunity to try to get some systems in place and maybe even unpack some boxes from moving in 5 years ago but I'm not going to get too carried away.

Still flashing today @Waiting2BAMummy?

Yes @bithebi still flashing this morning am due my afternoon test in around half an hour so we'll see what that says.

Good news that things are moving forward with your job would be great if you could start just after Easter.

Bless you we all have things that we're not so great with even those of us without your condition so try not to be too hard on yourself. It sounds like you're making positive steps to get things in order.

Hiya!

I'm stressing a bit here. Last time I ordered from Cryos it was picked up on the Tuesday and delivered on Friday - it said right from the start that's when delivery would be. This time, despite being picked up today they're estimating delivery to be on Monday! Three apps put my ovulation date as Monday, so it could be ok, but I'm worried it's too close for comfort. I suppose if I do get my smiley face before then I can just use all three straws at once. I have larger syringes if necessary.

bitheby glad to hear our DBS came through no problems. I understand what you're saying about the house - yours sounds similar to ours. Would help if we had more space, though.

Maybe they're just playing it safe @TimeIhadaNameChange hopefully the tank will come early.

Who is estimating? The courier company or cryos? If it's time critical you would expect cryos to do a named or guaranteed day delivery. Can you contact someone to double check in case they can speed things along?

As Waiting says it might just be an estimate to cover themselves but you shouldn't be put into that situation with something so expensive.

@TimeIhadaNameChange I wouldn't worry chick, they always seem to give you worst case scenario, mine have always been early :)

@Waiting2BAMummy god no... I did think about packing briefly yesterday, then I put it from my mind.. I'm better under pressure, and don't want to tempt fate by doing it too early!

@bitheby glad it's all moving forward with the job!

@Dosmamas how did the mil visit go?!

I've just cried at this story on the bbc news app

Walsall infant school employs nappy changer www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-47867342

I would give a child the best life I possibly could and there are so many poor children in the world in dire circumstances.

Sorry. Feeling a bit emotional and I thought you might all understand.

Aww, bitheby - hugs!

I know what you mean. I often feel jealous when you hear mothers of children kept in terrible conditions having more children. I just think why can't it be me instead.

Following the line of thought have you ever considered adoption?

bless you @bithebi that's really sad and I completely understand your upset. I saw a woman the other day with 3 children who she didn't seem the slightest bit interested in and she was pregnant again. How is that fair?

So after getting my first flashing smiley face really early I panicked and was talking to one of the new donors I was getting to know. He agreed to meet me tonight (in a hotel he chose because it was close to him) so I booked the room and hired a car. He emailed me at15.05 today to tell me both of his children have come down with chicken pox and he cannot make it. The hotel will not let me cancel as the deadline was 1pm today so now I've paid £109 for a hotel room I don't need. I would have had to hire the car anyway as I am due to meet my original donor at the weekend but have paid for an extra couple of days that I wouldn't have needed. As yet the smiley face is still flashing so it's my own fault for panicking but I feel really let down. Is that really selfish given that his children are sick? #FeelingLikeAnIdiot

It might be irrational but I assume that I would be turned down for adoption due to my diagnosis. Whilst we were trying to work out what was going on with me I ended up in the mental health system for a bit - never in hospital - but if they need to have a psychiatric report, that might shaft me.

I am perfectly safe and have never done anything that would raise any alarm but the psychiatrists I saw didn't agree with my own self assessment of autism and so I have all sorts in my records.

My boyfriend is coming over this evening and I'm stressing. I asked him to move in with me last year. He said no. One of the reasons he gave was because my house is untidy and he once had to 'force' me to hoover.

The reality of that situation is that I once asked him over for a booty call and he insisted that he spent the evening hoovering and I insisted that he didn't have to as that wasn't what I wanted. Eventually I relented and he did hoover but clearly stored that up as him having to 'force' me and my general slaterness.

Anyway. He's asked to come over to 'clean' this evening and I'm anticipating stress. I need to tell him how I'm feeling because being in a relationship isn't meant to feel like this. I should be looking forward to seeing him not panicking about the carpet.

By the way, if I conceive, replacing the skanky carpet with wood flooring is top of the list.