Ex is having a laugh

[Munchkinjack]

This divorce offer sucks. Ex who left me and the family home and shacked up with another only offered 60/40 of assets to me .. and half his pension .. how's that fair when I have 2 DS to house (19&22)?? 20 years we have been together!!

In addition the older son is 22. The OP said she started her relationship with her STBX 20 years ago. The oldest may not be his child using simple arithmetic. And the OP hasn't answered any questions on this.

60% to you is a good offer. The kids are actually adults and courts wouldn't factor them in. You're going to need to live to your new means. Downsize to a smaller 3 bed, potentially in a cheaper area, small a mortgage as you can and kids will need to pay their way.

You could always try more assets in exchange for less pension but thats biting you in the bum later.

Very good point.

He has zero legal responsibility to the 22 year old even if they were 12 unless formal adoption process had been carried out.

@Munchkinjack this is either a reverse (strongly suspect) or you are massively taking the piss

@ikeepforgetting fair enough

frustrating that op won’t actually answer or give any info though or outline why she feels it unfair

Eh? Sounds reasonable on the face of it, what were you wanting?

That’s more than my friend got and her kids were still
school age. Really your kids should be supporting themselves, they’re grown ups!! I’d bite his hand off.

Why do you feel the need to have half his pension? It isn't yours , divorce is just that , you need to look after yourself now get sone self respect

Why are you calling them kids? They’re adults now as far as the Courts are concerned. It seems a decent deal based on that?

You don’t have to house 2 adult sons - that’s yours (and their) choice

He was offering her 60%…..

A) are the dc both his?
B) whether they pay rent or not is not his issue. They are adults now so unless there’s some other issue like special needs or they’re still in full-time education then they will need to pay rent. You housing them and not charging them rent is your choice not his.
C) Was there some reason related to the marriage that your earnings are low? Was it a joint decision that created the situation where you were unable to maximise your own earning situation?
D) What would you think was a fair split of finances?