Should I do more to get ex to DD's performance?

[Sprogonthetyne]

DD(6) is learning an instrument and has her first end of term proformance next week. When we've talked about it I've said I can wait to see her band and when she's asked if dad's going, I've just said "I don't know, you'll have to ask him".

I've reminded DD to ask/invited her dad before phone calls or visits and she said she did last contact. Apparently dad said he'd "probably be there", but didn't contact me to ask date/time or anything else. As this is the earliest event, I thought maybe he didn't realise it was so soon so I've sent over a copy of the kids calendar for December, showing the dates of all the Christmas/end of term events (5 between 2 kids), but still nothing to say if he's going to any of them.

Should I push it further or leave the ball in his court?

Have a shared calendar, put the information onto it and if there’s a facility set it to notify him when you change information on it

She’s 6. She wants her dad there, you’re the primary parent. Don’t be passive agressive just send a message “the concert is on Monday at 10 at school, DD would love to see you” don’t be one of those parents. Fine when she’s 16, when she’s 6 just don’t upset the AppleCart

So, last week before the the band concert I sent a message saying band thing is X date (he came) and nativity is the week after on Y date (today). He said he would be attending both, definitely had a ticket (set number available per child, so theres a list of how many have been booked for each child) and told DD he would be there. No sign of him this afternoon 😔

That was with the extra reminder!

@Sprogonthetyne you can only do so much, to be fair l think you did more than enough. It’s his loss. I hope your daughter wasn’t upset by his no show

I used to desperately encourage communication between my ex h and my DD (now 10)

I gave up, he has no interest in anything other than his precious job and gf and her son.

if he wants to know dates for anything then he can look them up himself or even ask me. He’s not even asked how she’s doing at school (after parents eve etc) so I don’t bother and just make sure I spend the hefty maintenance payments on my daughter to make up for having a shit dad