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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Child maintanence fraud

118 replies

LM10000 · 07/05/2025 17:59

Hello,

Just looking for advise really and to see if anyone has been in a similar situation.

Seperated many moons ago. Ended up having to take childs dad to CMS as private arrangements failed.

All going smoothly for a few years. Feb 2025 comes and the annual review puts the payment up by over £100. Childs dad not happy about this and asks for reconsideration. Reconsideration refused by CMS

Day of the payment comes and I get a letter from CMS saying his wife has opened a CMS case.

The paying parent stated he has moved out of the family home. Hard to believe when he has been away with work all year.

Not only has she added their biological child but also her child from a previous relationship.

The paying parent, my sons dad has not disputed that he is not the step child's father and thus CMS are allowing the step child to be named on the case.

This has now reduced my sons entitlement to the tune of £150 per month.

I believe they have not broken up at all and have done this solely to reduce my sons maintenance.

I have disputed it with CMS and have got my MP involved.

Any advice on the situation appreciated.

OP posts:
Original poster
LM10000 · 08/05/2025 19:16

Misspotterer · 08/05/2025 18:29

The form is called SSCS2 and you can download it from gov.uk

Okay, thanks!!

OP posts:
superplumb · 08/05/2025 20:21

I'm new to all this..but

Ex leaves wife and kids..has to pay CM..thrn moves in with his new gf who also has kids...so he gets to pay less to his children?

Original poster
LM10000 · 08/05/2025 20:45

superplumb · 08/05/2025 20:21

I'm new to all this..but

Ex leaves wife and kids..has to pay CM..thrn moves in with his new gf who also has kids...so he gets to pay less to his children?

Yes, basically a Paying parent will get discount if they live in a house with other kids. (Even if it's not their kids)

OP posts:
OhamIreally · 09/05/2025 06:30

ARichtGoodDram · 08/05/2025 18:15

I have sent an email to the regiment asking for his commander to contact me.
That's exactly what he is, a bully.

I hope he's as helpful as my ex's CO was.

A word in his ear and he never, ever missed another payment to me again. He even calculated his last payment to me to the penny.

After he left the military he went back to his old ways. Not so long ago he was "betrayed" (his words) by a GF who found his bragging that he'd changed jobs, after taking a low paid job during Covid, but hadn't told anyone so was paying way under what he should for his younger children (not with me).

She sent details to his ex wife and ex girlfriend and they contacted CMS. His payments doubled. I laughed. A lot 😂

It’s interesting isn’t it that in a situation where not paying would have meant a loss of respect and status he paid to the penny. Demonstrates what a lot of us say: that society doesn’t care and there is little pressure, particularly from other men, to pay.

ARichtGoodDram · 09/05/2025 10:42

It’s interesting isn’t it that in a situation where not paying would have meant a loss of respect and status he paid to the penny. Demonstrates what a lot of us say: that society doesn’t care and there is little pressure, particularly from other men, to pay.

I say this all the time on maintenance threads.

If Steve was kicked from his five-a-side team or criticised in the pub for not paying he'd be more likely to pay.
If Bob was threatened with lack of promotion at work (which is essentially what happened to my ex - he was very firmly told that financially neglecting children would make his character seem very poor) he'd be much more likely to pay.
If Mick's dad told him how disappointed in him he was and considers skipping him in inheritance then he'd likely pay.

Men have a huge part to play in it.

Women do too. Mothers, sisters and girlfriends are often guilty of the "yes, but my Tony doesn't pay because she spends it all on haircuts and nights out..."

Also if it was unacceptable in society then there would also be political will for CMS to actually use the vast powers that they have as it would be a huge vote winner.

PositiveLife · 09/05/2025 11:09

FunnyCradock · 08/05/2025 18:57

@LM10000 - strap in, hopefully this gives you faith that right is might.

My children’s Dad lied to the CMS for 6 years to get a reduction. In 2013 he was living with a woman who had 2 children, therefore requested a reduction. He moved out (moved back in with his parents) in 2018 but failed to tell the CMS that he was no longer entitled to the discount.

I told the CMS this information in 2019 when I got my annual statement & noticed the discount. They said they’d investigate.
Then I forgot about it. Fast forward to 2024, I checked my annual statement for the first time since then & found the discount was still on there. For 6 years!!!! (My fault for not checking, but I’m not great at doing boring life admin)

I took this back up with the CMS. They have been consistently crap IME. I learnt (the hard way) to always kept a record of every single call I made to them. Eg. The name of who I talked to, what they said they’d do, how long each action will take…

They didn’t do any of the actions they said they would, so I then got my MP involved (for the 2nd time actually, the 1st time was a few years earlier)

The case got taken forward as a complaint. My feckless ex continued to ignore of all the CMS attempts to communicate with him. The case was eventually settled after I had provided proof (from the electoral roll) of his address from 2018.

The amount he had fraudulently claimed as a discount was backdated to the start of 2018 & his payments went up quite a bit as a result.
I also got a small amount of compensation by way of an apology from the CMS for them being so shit.

And for all the spiky people on here. I wasn’t after all his money btw. I was after the legally obliged amount - that he ought to want to provide for his children - to help pay for his children’s everyday needs.

But this is a man who sent me a text on the exact day our court ordered financial settlement ended (they only last 1 year) saying he’d left his job as a senior leadership teacher to go self employed, & therefore he wasn’t able to pay anything for his 4 children. To quote him - this will be the last month you’ll get any money.

To put this in context, I was a student at the time (trying to build a career for myself). The CMS made him pay the statutory £7 per week (this was for 3 children at that time, oldest was at uni). I think I worked out it was about 30p per child, per day! But eventually his ‘business’ went tits up, so back to teaching he went.

He has also always refused to pay me direct, so I had to apply to get the CMS to take it from his salary (costing him slightly more, and awarding slightly less to the children because the CMS take a fee for this service).

Meanwhile, I finished uni and now earn significantly more than he does now, which is why I don’t pay much attention to how much maintenance he pays. I learnt to live without it. He showed me that I could!

But it’s the moral principle of it all. While lying to the CMS to deny our children the money he legally needs to pay, he’s playing at Disney Dad of the year all over social media & giving motivational talks to men’s groups. Oh and also refusing to pay for our DS (the only one of our 4 children who has anything to do with him now) to have a haircut while he’s with him. Because, he told DS, that he was “overpaying already”. No, you’re just paying back the discount you lied about.

I suspect my story is not an isolated incident. That’s why I’m sharing, in case it gives hope to anyone else dealing with one of these ex idiots.

On the other side of this, my partner has spent months trying to get an additional child removed from his claim after leaving his ex.

Change of address didn't remove it.
Online only lets you add someone.
Tech helpline say you have to call.
People on the phone just say it can be done on the app.
Limited opening hours during the working day makes it difficult to keep trying to get someone who will actually do the changes.
Being told if you can't do it on the app you can upload a document with comments on asking them to do it, then upload failing because the system is crap.
Tried adding me as a representative so I could sit on the phone for hours in a queue and that takes almost a month to do.

In the end, I got his ex to ring and report him for it. Was removed the same day.

I'm still battling to get the income updated.

The whole system is crap and doesn't work for either side.

Original poster
LM10000 · 09/05/2025 16:50

PositiveLife · 09/05/2025 11:09

On the other side of this, my partner has spent months trying to get an additional child removed from his claim after leaving his ex.

Change of address didn't remove it.
Online only lets you add someone.
Tech helpline say you have to call.
People on the phone just say it can be done on the app.
Limited opening hours during the working day makes it difficult to keep trying to get someone who will actually do the changes.
Being told if you can't do it on the app you can upload a document with comments on asking them to do it, then upload failing because the system is crap.
Tried adding me as a representative so I could sit on the phone for hours in a queue and that takes almost a month to do.

In the end, I got his ex to ring and report him for it. Was removed the same day.

I'm still battling to get the income updated.

The whole system is crap and doesn't work for either side.

Show quote history

This is the first time I've had an issue with CMS and I can see why the majority feel they are incompetent.

Did you know the ex before contacting her?
If I thought there was anything the biological dad could do I would contact him.

OP posts:
PositiveLife · 09/05/2025 17:06

Yes, I get on well with the ex

ARichtGoodDram · 09/05/2025 18:11

CMS are dire.

I worked there briefly and it was awful. They are understaffed and poorly trained.

At the end of my training I asked if there was a specialist team who dealt with a couple of powers I knew they had (from my research when my ex was being a nightmare) and my trainer didn't even realise they had those powers!

They have a raft of powers that don't get used as there is just no political will to use them.

I got a telling off for being "too harsh" with a man who wanted a months extension to pay. There were no issues with my manner or tone, I was correct within the rules, but apparently no extension was "too harsh". He'd been avoiding paying for four YEARS!

Original poster
LM10000 · 09/05/2025 18:41

ARichtGoodDram · 09/05/2025 18:11

CMS are dire.

I worked there briefly and it was awful. They are understaffed and poorly trained.

At the end of my training I asked if there was a specialist team who dealt with a couple of powers I knew they had (from my research when my ex was being a nightmare) and my trainer didn't even realise they had those powers!

They have a raft of powers that don't get used as there is just no political will to use them.

I got a telling off for being "too harsh" with a man who wanted a months extension to pay. There were no issues with my manner or tone, I was correct within the rules, but apparently no extension was "too harsh". He'd been avoiding paying for four YEARS!

I just don't understand when this effects 1M children a year.

Not to get political but wonder how many of them are classed as one of the 4M in poverty?

1 out of 3 call handles I have spoken too about this actually seemed to know what they were on about.

It's really infuriating.

OP posts:
FunnyCradock · 09/05/2025 22:29

@PositiveLife I completely agree that the whole system is crap.

But the two sides are not comparable. Your partner had the ability to choose to pay the extra discounted amount direct to the other parent while waiting for the CMS to sort it out officially. (If they had wanted to. And perhaps they did do this, as a loving, decent parent would)

I (and my children) had no such control or choice over getting the money they were legally, and I think most would say, morally and ethically, entitled to. We were at the behest of the CMS & could do nothing other than to follow due process.

If your partner and their ex are amicable - and because the CMS is so crap - the easiest answer is probably to sort maintenance out between them. I’ve heard some wild rumours that some separated parents are able to do this 🤷🏼‍♀️Unfortunately, my ex & many others like him, are unable to adult in an adequately competent fashion to make this work!

PositiveLife · 09/05/2025 22:43

@FunnyCradock that doesn't work for him. He gets different pay each week so it's not possible to easily calculate a current amount he should be paying. It's always based on the previous year and then they work out the arrears/overpayment the following year. So to do voluntary extra payments would just confuse the whole calculation. Why they can't just tell his work to pay x% each week I don't know.

FunnyCradock · 09/05/2025 23:36

@PositiveLife
I guess another example of the CMS being completely unfit for purpose. Also another reason to sack off the CMS (in your partners case) and pay his ex direct. Then he can pay x% each week.

Anyway, not wanting to derail the point of the thread, which is that feckless ex-partners make fraudulent claims and the CMS seem to not give a shiny shite about it.

OhamIreally · 10/05/2025 00:07

PositiveLife · 09/05/2025 22:43

@FunnyCradock that doesn't work for him. He gets different pay each week so it's not possible to easily calculate a current amount he should be paying. It's always based on the previous year and then they work out the arrears/overpayment the following year. So to do voluntary extra payments would just confuse the whole calculation. Why they can't just tell his work to pay x% each week I don't know.

I thought you said his issue was trying to remove a child from the claim? Now it’s that his income fluctuates?

TUCKINGFYP0 · 10/05/2025 00:34

Pinkdreams · 07/05/2025 19:39

Yes I am and I’m sorry if that isn’t the case in your situation but I constantly se women keep their child from their father and still moan and complain they aren’t getting enough child maintenance

Show quote history

Children are not pay per view.

And any man who wants to see his kids can go to court and get an order. It’s not hard.

ponyprincess · 27/08/2025 10:19

Please look in the Petitions section if you are in UK
Sorry to highjack thread

ponyprincess · 19/12/2025 17:59

Good one @fairlyfairtoday !

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