Page 3 | Child maintanence fraud

LM10000 · 2025-05-07T16:59:32+00:00

Hello, Just looking for advise really and to see if anyone has been in a similar situation. Seperated many moons ago. Ended up having to take childs dad to CMS as private arrangements failed. All going smoothly for a few years. Feb 2025 comes and the annual review puts the payment up by over £100. Childs dad not happy about this and asks for reconsideration. Reconsideration refused by CMS Day of the payment comes and I get a letter from CMS saying his wife has opened a CMS case. The paying parent stated he has moved out of the family home. Hard to believe when he has been away with work all year. Not only has she added their biological child but also her child from a previous relationship. The paying parent, my sons dad has not disputed that he is not the step child's father and thus CMS are allowing the step child to be named on the case. This has now reduced my sons entitlement to the tune of £150 per month. I believe they have not broken up at all and have done this solely to reduce my sons maintenance. I have disputed it with CMS and have got my MP involved. Any advice on the situation appreciated.

Simplynotsimple · 07/05/2025 21:20

weddingguest101 · 07/05/2025 20:27

But what if he was dead? You’d get nothing. It would be enough.
Will you be paying your ex partner the same amount when he has your child in the summer and giving back that weeks maintenance?!
He maybe does earn double, have you maximised your own earning potentials? Do you have a live in partner? If you don’t earn do you claim universal credit etc.

you can’t specify an amount so I’m assuming it’s not a pittance. You feel you’re entitled maybe, but the system has shown otherwise.

again, if he’s taking the piss then I’d support what you’re saying but a child isn’t an income. Without knowing what you think is not enough, which you are reluctant to share (for some reason). It’s hard to say if he’s a cock or sick or being rinsed.

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He’s not dead though, so is equally financially (and physically but that that’s another matter) responsible for the child as the op. And CMS calculations are over a year, so if the father doesn’t see the child for weeks, but then several times over summer it’s the mean amount over 12 months. It’s not the OP’s amount, the cost of raising a child comes from two parents so the legal system is in place to make sure it’s fair. But if you want to play devils advocate, what do you think her ex will do if god forbid something happened to her? Will he take a cut to his pay/career to raise a child? Will he recognise the full responsibility it takes to be a parent, and if that’s the extreme it takes for men to raise a child why can’t posters like yourself recognise what women sacrifice to be the primary carer because it’s the expected default?

Original poster

LM10000 · 07/05/2025 21:21

MouldyCandy · 07/05/2025 21:17

Not sure what part of the military your exDP is in, but from my understanding of our local army unit they are shit hot on ensuring servicemen pay the correct CM. Is there a family liaison officer you can contact there for advice?

I could message his commander, I know that.

But the abuse I will receive when I have to meet hmi half way to drop my son off to him in summer?

And it will not be the first time I have been on my own and been verbally attacked infront of my son.

OP posts:

Daisy12Maisie · 07/05/2025 21:21

£300 a month isn’t going to cover half the cost of bringing up a child.
The argument of he needs to pay his own rent and bills is potentially not relevant in this case. (My son is in the military and his rent including bills is £10 a month. He is saving £1000 a month despite having a car and expensive insurance to pay for because expenses are so low in the military. He can see a dentist for free and buy subsidised food at work etc. He has been given a laptop. He wears a uniform to work so doesn’t need that many clothes. So I like to think that if he had children the future and wasn’t with the mum he would contribute a lot more than £300 a month! Or pay that but also pay for the extras like childcare/ swimming lessons/ new shoes or whatever.
my apologies if I have it wrong and he isn’t in military accommodation paying not a lot.
Whatever way you look at it he is paying the bare minimum for a child. Yes some people don’t work and pay nothing but that doesn’t mean £300 is great.
They may well have split up though as military life is hard. His family wouldn’t be advertising it. If they have split up then the step child shouldn’t be treated as a child on the claim. Either they are together and the step child is included or they aren’t together so the money should be split between his biological children.

Daisy12Maisie · 07/05/2025 21:23

Also, is there anyone else who could do the drop off for you as that sounds really awful for you.
Even if a friend comes with you in the car and then you find somewhere near the drop off point you could take her out for lunch to say thank you. Or bring some sandwiches!

penelopemoneypenny · 07/05/2025 21:28

Op take a breath. If you report him and get him investigated for fraud could this mean he could lose his job? If that’s the case he will be jobless and on benefits and you will get £7 a week. Please dont screw your self.

weddingguest101 · 07/05/2025 22:01

Simplynotsimple · 07/05/2025 21:20

He’s not dead though, so is equally financially (and physically but that that’s another matter) responsible for the child as the op. And CMS calculations are over a year, so if the father doesn’t see the child for weeks, but then several times over summer it’s the mean amount over 12 months. It’s not the OP’s amount, the cost of raising a child comes from two parents so the legal system is in place to make sure it’s fair. But if you want to play devils advocate, what do you think her ex will do if god forbid something happened to her? Will he take a cut to his pay/career to raise a child? Will he recognise the full responsibility it takes to be a parent, and if that’s the extreme it takes for men to raise a child why can’t posters like yourself recognise what women sacrifice to be the primary carer because it’s the expected default?

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I’m a single parent and get dads don’t do their share but I see a lot of people on here that get a bit of money and it’s never good enough, cms needs overhauled for lots of reasons …

If I had to guess I reckon hed want custody of the child and expect his wife (ex that isn’t an ex maybe?) care for the child while he “works away” and doesn’t look after any of these 3 kids full time.

weddingguest101 · 07/05/2025 22:03

LM10000 · 07/05/2025 21:21

I could message his commander, I know that.

But the abuse I will receive when I have to meet hmi half way to drop my son off to him in summer?

And it will not be the first time I have been on my own and been verbally attacked infront of my son.

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I hope you record the handovers. But I’d just refuse to meet, if he wants him let him do the travel.

Original poster

LM10000 · 07/05/2025 22:03

weddingguest101 · 07/05/2025 22:01

I’m a single parent and get dads don’t do their share but I see a lot of people on here that get a bit of money and it’s never good enough, cms needs overhauled for lots of reasons …

If I had to guess I reckon hed want custody of the child and expect his wife (ex that isn’t an ex maybe?) care for the child while he “works away” and doesn’t look after any of these 3 kids full time.

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I doubt it chick or they would off offered.

OP posts:

millymollymoomoo · 07/05/2025 22:06

it is possible to maximise earnings while also taking full responsibility for childcare. However, even if you were that doesn’t absolve your ex from paying his contribution

re the step child - that should be simple enough for cms to get evidence that not biological child ( it is sometimes the case that a step child is deemed a child of the family in divorce so cms would be due but that is not seemingly the case here)

the separation i guess could be more tricky to prove. I’m not sure what cms ask for

either way it’s sneaky of him and I sympathise

weddingguest101 · 07/05/2025 22:15

LM10000 · 07/05/2025 22:03

I doubt it chick or they would off offered.

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No I mean he would want the custody.. and try to lumber the new wife. Because let’s face it, he isn’t looking after them now while he’s away but he’ll talk her into it to avoid paying anyone else who may get custody.

Original poster

LM10000 · 07/05/2025 22:51

Daisy12Maisie · 07/05/2025 21:21

£300 a month isn’t going to cover half the cost of bringing up a child.
The argument of he needs to pay his own rent and bills is potentially not relevant in this case. (My son is in the military and his rent including bills is £10 a month. He is saving £1000 a month despite having a car and expensive insurance to pay for because expenses are so low in the military. He can see a dentist for free and buy subsidised food at work etc. He has been given a laptop. He wears a uniform to work so doesn’t need that many clothes. So I like to think that if he had children the future and wasn’t with the mum he would contribute a lot more than £300 a month! Or pay that but also pay for the extras like childcare/ swimming lessons/ new shoes or whatever.
my apologies if I have it wrong and he isn’t in military accommodation paying not a lot.
Whatever way you look at it he is paying the bare minimum for a child. Yes some people don’t work and pay nothing but that doesn’t mean £300 is great.
They may well have split up though as military life is hard. His family wouldn’t be advertising it. If they have split up then the step child shouldn’t be treated as a child on the claim. Either they are together and the step child is included or they aren’t together so the money should be split between his biological children.

Thanks. I agree completely.

Not sure if married quarters are different in price. I imagine so. Either way, there is a three month time frame to be out of the property upon official separation.

I wouldn't know whether the army are aware unless CMS investigated or I approached his army base. The latter would likely cause more drama.

OP posts:

Original poster

LM10000 · 07/05/2025 22:53

weddingguest101 · 07/05/2025 22:15

No I mean he would want the custody.. and try to lumber the new wife. Because let’s face it, he isn’t looking after them now while he’s away but he’ll talk her into it to avoid paying anyone else who may get custody.

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Yeah, he makes out I have refused contact when the reality is he wants bare minimum contact.

OP posts:

AFrankExchangeofViews · 07/05/2025 23:23

What a bully he is. Id definitely message his commander, its not great conduct is it. He cant count his stepchild if they've split, so yes its child support fraud. And if they havent split up its still fraud. Bullies you so he can get away with it as you're too scared to stand up to him. If he threatens you tell him youll go back to his commander again and the police. I have only ever found bullys to stand down if you stand up to them. He wont want to lose his job. I wouldnt do that if you think hed be violent though.

ARichtGoodDram · 07/05/2025 23:29

Anyone can buy a birth certificate so I would go down that route if you know enough detail to find it - he's not due to pay CMS for his step son.

I can understand why you'd be reluctant to speak to the welfare officer, but I found the army extremely helpful with my ex.

If he's going to pretend to be separated then they can have the hassle of having to leave married quarters etc.

Can you take someone with you for handovers? Or record them with your phone?

TheCurious0range · 07/05/2025 23:31

I don't know why resident parent who only spends 6% of their salary raising their child!
Gather as much evidence as you can op and send to CMS, FB screenshots, birth certificate for the step child anything you can

weddingguest101 · 08/05/2025 05:51

LM10000 · 07/05/2025 22:53

Yeah, he makes out I have refused contact when the reality is he wants bare minimum contact.

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Course he does because that suits his narrative.

also, I’m not saying £300 is a lot I was just expecting it to be a lot more the hassle he’s gone to to drop the payment. £75 a week for someone to raise your child is a bargain… I’ll drop mine off too. (joking obviously 😂).

bugalugs45 · 08/05/2025 06:55

All the people asking re amounts , if it’s reduced by £150 a month which is 1/3 then OP was getting £450 a month ,now £300 ish or is my maths way off ? I barely scraped maths GCSE 🫣 .
But on another thought resident children were counted so the EXH wouldn’t need to split up with wife for amount to be reduced , or is it different due to military and working away ?

bugalugs45 · 08/05/2025 07:09

Having said that though , you are only getting £50 less a month than you were 4 months ago , it got raised by £100. I’m not disputing your wanting your child to have a good life but some may say you got greedy & it’s now bitten you on arse.
Agree with previous comments re men being cash points , my friends sister in law did it , bank of ex husband .
However you are doing more then your share of parenting so for that I commend you .

RinkyDinkDrink · 08/05/2025 07:16

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Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Do we need to start with the birds and the bees here or a quick whizz around basic finances?

RinkyDinkDrink · 08/05/2025 07:21

LM10000 · 07/05/2025 19:01

No absolutely not.

Sorry mate, you seem to be very biased. Not all women use kids as weapons.

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You’ve totally got this one’s number. 😄

RinkyDinkDrink · 08/05/2025 07:22

bugalugs45 · 08/05/2025 07:09

Having said that though , you are only getting £50 less a month than you were 4 months ago , it got raised by £100. I’m not disputing your wanting your child to have a good life but some may say you got greedy & it’s now bitten you on arse.
Agree with previous comments re men being cash points , my friends sister in law did it , bank of ex husband .
However you are doing more then your share of parenting so for that I commend you .

some may say you got greedy

Nobody reasonable would.

Original poster

LM10000 · 08/05/2025 07:58

bugalugs45 · 08/05/2025 07:09

Having said that though , you are only getting £50 less a month than you were 4 months ago , it got raised by £100. I’m not disputing your wanting your child to have a good life but some may say you got greedy & it’s now bitten you on arse.
Agree with previous comments re men being cash points , my friends sister in law did it , bank of ex husband .
However you are doing more then your share of parenting so for that I commend you .

I don't think I got greedy. CMS calculates it, not me?

OP posts:

bugalugs45 · 08/05/2025 08:00

I’ve never used the CMS service so assume that they regularly review payment amounts without the mothers request , he must have got a substantial pay rise for them to increase that much , so I do agree with you , but he must have thought unreasonable to come back with this .

Original poster

LM10000 · 08/05/2025 08:01

bugalugs45 · 08/05/2025 08:00

I’ve never used the CMS service so assume that they regularly review payment amounts without the mothers request , he must have got a substantial pay rise for them to increase that much , so I do agree with you , but he must have thought unreasonable to come back with this .

Yeah, seems that way.

OP posts:

AnonWho23 · 08/05/2025 08:04

bugalugs45 · 08/05/2025 07:09

Having said that though , you are only getting £50 less a month than you were 4 months ago , it got raised by £100. I’m not disputing your wanting your child to have a good life but some may say you got greedy & it’s now bitten you on arse.
Agree with previous comments re men being cash points , my friends sister in law did it , bank of ex husband .
However you are doing more then your share of parenting so for that I commend you .

It's not greed. He has a RESPONSIBILITY to provide for the child. It's his child as well. @LM10000 is providing 100% of all the care for the child. That will have an impact on her earning potential. The least his dad can do is pay the minimum legal amount to support his child.

He thinks he's got one over on @LM10000 when really he's fucking over his own kid. His kid will have less because of his actions.

@LM10000 could you call his bluff. Tell him that you are sorry about his recent separation. That CM are nvestigating and have asked for the accomidation offices number to confirm that notice has been given on the family quarter's.