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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Child maintanence fraud

118 replies

LM10000 · 07/05/2025 17:59

Hello,

Just looking for advise really and to see if anyone has been in a similar situation.

Seperated many moons ago. Ended up having to take childs dad to CMS as private arrangements failed.

All going smoothly for a few years. Feb 2025 comes and the annual review puts the payment up by over £100. Childs dad not happy about this and asks for reconsideration. Reconsideration refused by CMS

Day of the payment comes and I get a letter from CMS saying his wife has opened a CMS case.

The paying parent stated he has moved out of the family home. Hard to believe when he has been away with work all year.

Not only has she added their biological child but also her child from a previous relationship.

The paying parent, my sons dad has not disputed that he is not the step child's father and thus CMS are allowing the step child to be named on the case.

This has now reduced my sons entitlement to the tune of £150 per month.

I believe they have not broken up at all and have done this solely to reduce my sons maintenance.

I have disputed it with CMS and have got my MP involved.

Any advice on the situation appreciated.

OP posts:
SummerIce · 08/05/2025 08:16

Did you say he’s in Army housing?

Can you contact whoever manages that and say you understand he’s not living there anymore and ask for his follow on address? I know they won’t give it you but would alert them to him not living there.

Sunbline · 08/05/2025 08:32

SummerIce · 08/05/2025 08:16

Did you say he’s in Army housing?

Can you contact whoever manages that and say you understand he’s not living there anymore and ask for his follow on address? I know they won’t give it you but would alert them to him not living there.

Do people actually do stuff like this?

OhamIreally · 08/05/2025 16:19

LM10000 · 08/05/2025 08:01

Yeah, seems that way.

Do people not understand that this is a percentage? The CMS calculate 12% so if his salary goes up then 12% of a higher amount is also higher. Nobody mentions he gets to keep the other 88%!!!
This isn’t about women being “greedy” or “wanting all a man’s money” it’s about an expectation that a man will share his income with a child he has fathered. The higher a man’s income the more he should share to improve the living standards of the child.

YourOnMute · 08/05/2025 16:35

100%. We're talking about a child here, who was brought into the world by TWO parents.
Some of the comments here make me despair. Both parents should want to do the best for their child. Children don't live on fresh air.
I had a "I love my kids so much" ex who wouldn't pay maintenance and I had to bring him to court. Some years ago he decided to disappear so I can't bring him back to court to enact the maintenance. He blocked his children on social media, changed his number. He's in hiding from his own children. Hasn't contacted them in years. Who suffers without his maintenance? His children.
Nothing will surprise me as to the lengths some men will go to to avoid paying maintenance.
OP I hope you get this sorted.

LM10000 · 08/05/2025 16:43

penelopemoneypenny · 07/05/2025 21:28

Op take a breath. If you report him and get him investigated for fraud could this mean he could lose his job? If that’s the case he will be jobless and on benefits and you will get £7 a week. Please dont screw your self.

I'm pretty sure that he would only have to pay back what was due in the first place. I don't actually think they would get into trouble with the law.

OP posts:
weddingguest101 · 08/05/2025 16:47

OhamIreally · 08/05/2025 16:19

Do people not understand that this is a percentage? The CMS calculate 12% so if his salary goes up then 12% of a higher amount is also higher. Nobody mentions he gets to keep the other 88%!!!
This isn’t about women being “greedy” or “wanting all a man’s money” it’s about an expectation that a man will share his income with a child he has fathered. The higher a man’s income the more he should share to improve the living standards of the child.

It’s 12% gross not net so he will pay tax and national insurance , pension etc on that. He doesn’t get 88% of it. He will also pay tax on the 12% Rp receives

LM10000 · 08/05/2025 16:49

AFrankExchangeofViews · 07/05/2025 23:23

What a bully he is. Id definitely message his commander, its not great conduct is it. He cant count his stepchild if they've split, so yes its child support fraud. And if they havent split up its still fraud. Bullies you so he can get away with it as you're too scared to stand up to him. If he threatens you tell him youll go back to his commander again and the police. I have only ever found bullys to stand down if you stand up to them. He wont want to lose his job. I wouldnt do that if you think hed be violent though.

I have sent an email to the regiment asking for his commander to contact me.
That's exactly what he is, a bully.

I tend not to retaliate when he tries to argue with me as it just escalates the situation.

OP posts:
Sunbline · 08/05/2025 16:51

I have sent an email to the regiment asking for his commander to contact me.

Nuts!

OhamIreally · 08/05/2025 16:52

weddingguest101 · 08/05/2025 16:47

It’s 12% gross not net so he will pay tax and national insurance , pension etc on that. He doesn’t get 88% of it. He will also pay tax on the 12% Rp receives

It’s net of pension.

weddingguest101 · 08/05/2025 16:58

OhamIreally · 08/05/2025 16:52

It’s net of pension.

It’s net minus pension that’s why they all up their pension contributions … I’m just meaning he won’t have 88% in his hand

UpsideDownChairs · 08/05/2025 17:06

I've skipped to the end, but if they've separated, she'll have to move out of military housing - there's a short amount of time they'd let her stay, but then she'd have to leave - so TBH, this should be fairly easy to prove - if her address is military housing, they haven't separated.

LM10000 · 08/05/2025 17:09

UpsideDownChairs · 08/05/2025 17:06

I've skipped to the end, but if they've separated, she'll have to move out of military housing - there's a short amount of time they'd let her stay, but then she'd have to leave - so TBH, this should be fairly easy to prove - if her address is military housing, they haven't separated.

Getting CMS to investigate it is easier said than done unfortunately 🙄

OP posts:
caringcarer · 08/05/2025 17:19

LM10000 · 07/05/2025 21:02

Unfortunately not.

He obviously thinks I'm a money grabbing so and so as it is. Hence the CMS involvement.

Resents giving me money.
Hates me more than he loves his son.

I will fight for my kid though. Even if I have to fight his dad for him.

Not easy when I'm considering having police be there to keep the peace when I drop of half way.

Sadly my exh also hated me more than he loved his DC. He refused to pay for his youngest DC after we divorced despite having no other DC to pay for. Eventually CMS made him pay by threatening to conviscate his passport, which they told me is their last resort. He had to pay almost 3 years back payments too. Older ds over 18, was so disgusted his Dad refused to pay for his younger brother he refused to see him. They still hardly speak. It is a terrible thing when a parent can't do the best for their own DC regardless of not getting on well with ex.

LM10000 · 08/05/2025 17:21

caringcarer · 08/05/2025 17:19

Sadly my exh also hated me more than he loved his DC. He refused to pay for his youngest DC after we divorced despite having no other DC to pay for. Eventually CMS made him pay by threatening to conviscate his passport, which they told me is their last resort. He had to pay almost 3 years back payments too. Older ds over 18, was so disgusted his Dad refused to pay for his younger brother he refused to see him. They still hardly speak. It is a terrible thing when a parent can't do the best for their own DC regardless of not getting on well with ex.

It's hard to fathom isn't it. They must not have a conscience.

OP posts:
Misspotterer · 08/05/2025 18:14

Yeah, if they're not separated they're committing fraud and if they are then the stepson needs to be removed from the equation. He's not your ex's responsibility. You could raise a mandatory reconsideration yourself. I took CMS to tribunal and won. It's time consuming and arduous but necessary sometimes.

ARichtGoodDram · 08/05/2025 18:15

I have sent an email to the regiment asking for his commander to contact me.
That's exactly what he is, a bully.

I hope he's as helpful as my ex's CO was.

A word in his ear and he never, ever missed another payment to me again. He even calculated his last payment to me to the penny.

After he left the military he went back to his old ways. Not so long ago he was "betrayed" (his words) by a GF who found his bragging that he'd changed jobs, after taking a low paid job during Covid, but hadn't told anyone so was paying way under what he should for his younger children (not with me).

She sent details to his ex wife and ex girlfriend and they contacted CMS. His payments doubled. I laughed. A lot 😂

LM10000 · 08/05/2025 18:18

Misspotterer · 08/05/2025 18:14

Yeah, if they're not separated they're committing fraud and if they are then the stepson needs to be removed from the equation. He's not your ex's responsibility. You could raise a mandatory reconsideration yourself. I took CMS to tribunal and won. It's time consuming and arduous but necessary sometimes.

I have raised it once via emailing the director of CMS but I just got a jargon letter back. Didn't give me the option to raise a MR. I've emailed the director again and said the response was not acceptable. Wrote to my MP so I'm waiting to hear back.

OP posts:
LM10000 · 08/05/2025 18:23

ARichtGoodDram · 08/05/2025 18:15

I have sent an email to the regiment asking for his commander to contact me.
That's exactly what he is, a bully.

I hope he's as helpful as my ex's CO was.

A word in his ear and he never, ever missed another payment to me again. He even calculated his last payment to me to the penny.

After he left the military he went back to his old ways. Not so long ago he was "betrayed" (his words) by a GF who found his bragging that he'd changed jobs, after taking a low paid job during Covid, but hadn't told anyone so was paying way under what he should for his younger children (not with me).

She sent details to his ex wife and ex girlfriend and they contacted CMS. His payments doubled. I laughed. A lot 😂

Thanks for the reassurance. Hopefully his commander can talk some sense into him.

I just don't understand trying to get one over on your ex when it's your kids that suffer as a consequence.

OP posts:
Misspotterer · 08/05/2025 18:26

The correct process is to raise a mandatory reconsideration against their latest decision. There is a form you can fill in explaining why. The NRP can then also respond and then it goes to tribunal.

LM10000 · 08/05/2025 18:29

Misspotterer · 08/05/2025 18:26

The correct process is to raise a mandatory reconsideration against their latest decision. There is a form you can fill in explaining why. The NRP can then also respond and then it goes to tribunal.

Okay great. Thanks.

I only need to provide evidence at the tribunal?

OP posts:
Misspotterer · 08/05/2025 18:29

The form is called SSCS2 and you can download it from gov.uk

Misspotterer · 08/05/2025 18:31

You don't even really need evidence. Just state your reasons and they'll be considered, maybe investigated. You don't attend a tribunal as such, it's done behind closed doors and then you're notified of the decision.

caringcarer · 08/05/2025 18:31

ARichtGoodDram · 08/05/2025 18:15

I have sent an email to the regiment asking for his commander to contact me.
That's exactly what he is, a bully.

I hope he's as helpful as my ex's CO was.

A word in his ear and he never, ever missed another payment to me again. He even calculated his last payment to me to the penny.

After he left the military he went back to his old ways. Not so long ago he was "betrayed" (his words) by a GF who found his bragging that he'd changed jobs, after taking a low paid job during Covid, but hadn't told anyone so was paying way under what he should for his younger children (not with me).

She sent details to his ex wife and ex girlfriend and they contacted CMS. His payments doubled. I laughed. A lot 😂

If only all women had someone who could make exh see reason in this way!

FunnyCradock · 08/05/2025 18:57

@LM10000 - strap in, hopefully this gives you faith that right is might.

My children’s Dad lied to the CMS for 6 years to get a reduction. In 2013 he was living with a woman who had 2 children, therefore requested a reduction. He moved out (moved back in with his parents) in 2018 but failed to tell the CMS that he was no longer entitled to the discount.

I told the CMS this information in 2019 when I got my annual statement & noticed the discount. They said they’d investigate.
Then I forgot about it. Fast forward to 2024, I checked my annual statement for the first time since then & found the discount was still on there. For 6 years!!!! (My fault for not checking, but I’m not great at doing boring life admin)

I took this back up with the CMS. They have been consistently crap IME. I learnt (the hard way) to always kept a record of every single call I made to them. Eg. The name of who I talked to, what they said they’d do, how long each action will take…

They didn’t do any of the actions they said they would, so I then got my MP involved (for the 2nd time actually, the 1st time was a few years earlier)

The case got taken forward as a complaint. My feckless ex continued to ignore of all the CMS attempts to communicate with him. The case was eventually settled after I had provided proof (from the electoral roll) of his address from 2018.

The amount he had fraudulently claimed as a discount was backdated to the start of 2018 & his payments went up quite a bit as a result.
I also got a small amount of compensation by way of an apology from the CMS for them being so shit.

And for all the spiky people on here. I wasn’t after all his money btw. I was after the legally obliged amount - that he ought to want to provide for his children - to help pay for his children’s everyday needs.

But this is a man who sent me a text on the exact day our court ordered financial settlement ended (they only last 1 year) saying he’d left his job as a senior leadership teacher to go self employed, & therefore he wasn’t able to pay anything for his 4 children. To quote him - this will be the last month you’ll get any money.

To put this in context, I was a student at the time (trying to build a career for myself). The CMS made him pay the statutory £7 per week (this was for 3 children at that time, oldest was at uni). I think I worked out it was about 30p per child, per day! But eventually his ‘business’ went tits up, so back to teaching he went.

He has also always refused to pay me direct, so I had to apply to get the CMS to take it from his salary (costing him slightly more, and awarding slightly less to the children because the CMS take a fee for this service).

Meanwhile, I finished uni and now earn significantly more than he does now, which is why I don’t pay much attention to how much maintenance he pays. I learnt to live without it. He showed me that I could!

But it’s the moral principle of it all. While lying to the CMS to deny our children the money he legally needs to pay, he’s playing at Disney Dad of the year all over social media & giving motivational talks to men’s groups. Oh and also refusing to pay for our DS (the only one of our 4 children who has anything to do with him now) to have a haircut while he’s with him. Because, he told DS, that he was “overpaying already”. No, you’re just paying back the discount you lied about.

I suspect my story is not an isolated incident. That’s why I’m sharing, in case it gives hope to anyone else dealing with one of these ex idiots.

LM10000 · 08/05/2025 19:15

FunnyCradock · 08/05/2025 18:57

@LM10000 - strap in, hopefully this gives you faith that right is might.

My children’s Dad lied to the CMS for 6 years to get a reduction. In 2013 he was living with a woman who had 2 children, therefore requested a reduction. He moved out (moved back in with his parents) in 2018 but failed to tell the CMS that he was no longer entitled to the discount.

I told the CMS this information in 2019 when I got my annual statement & noticed the discount. They said they’d investigate.
Then I forgot about it. Fast forward to 2024, I checked my annual statement for the first time since then & found the discount was still on there. For 6 years!!!! (My fault for not checking, but I’m not great at doing boring life admin)

I took this back up with the CMS. They have been consistently crap IME. I learnt (the hard way) to always kept a record of every single call I made to them. Eg. The name of who I talked to, what they said they’d do, how long each action will take…

They didn’t do any of the actions they said they would, so I then got my MP involved (for the 2nd time actually, the 1st time was a few years earlier)

The case got taken forward as a complaint. My feckless ex continued to ignore of all the CMS attempts to communicate with him. The case was eventually settled after I had provided proof (from the electoral roll) of his address from 2018.

The amount he had fraudulently claimed as a discount was backdated to the start of 2018 & his payments went up quite a bit as a result.
I also got a small amount of compensation by way of an apology from the CMS for them being so shit.

And for all the spiky people on here. I wasn’t after all his money btw. I was after the legally obliged amount - that he ought to want to provide for his children - to help pay for his children’s everyday needs.

But this is a man who sent me a text on the exact day our court ordered financial settlement ended (they only last 1 year) saying he’d left his job as a senior leadership teacher to go self employed, & therefore he wasn’t able to pay anything for his 4 children. To quote him - this will be the last month you’ll get any money.

To put this in context, I was a student at the time (trying to build a career for myself). The CMS made him pay the statutory £7 per week (this was for 3 children at that time, oldest was at uni). I think I worked out it was about 30p per child, per day! But eventually his ‘business’ went tits up, so back to teaching he went.

He has also always refused to pay me direct, so I had to apply to get the CMS to take it from his salary (costing him slightly more, and awarding slightly less to the children because the CMS take a fee for this service).

Meanwhile, I finished uni and now earn significantly more than he does now, which is why I don’t pay much attention to how much maintenance he pays. I learnt to live without it. He showed me that I could!

But it’s the moral principle of it all. While lying to the CMS to deny our children the money he legally needs to pay, he’s playing at Disney Dad of the year all over social media & giving motivational talks to men’s groups. Oh and also refusing to pay for our DS (the only one of our 4 children who has anything to do with him now) to have a haircut while he’s with him. Because, he told DS, that he was “overpaying already”. No, you’re just paying back the discount you lied about.

I suspect my story is not an isolated incident. That’s why I’m sharing, in case it gives hope to anyone else dealing with one of these ex idiots.

Love this for you.

Glad it all worked out for you in the end. Although years of underpaying must of took its toll on you with 4 kids. Hats off to you. You sound like an excellent mother.

It's really hard to comprehend though isn't it? How can you do your own kids out of money?

I feel slightly stuck work wise now bc my managers are extremely understanding. I would hate to leave and not have the flexibility.

However, with the experience I've gained I will be able to take a higher paying job in a few years when my son is more independent.

Just sad that you have to fight the system to get any kind of result

OP posts:
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