How often do you have sex after 45?

[Rainbow122]

Hi,
I was married. He had affair so that was the end of that. Anyway, fast-forward 4 years and I’ve met someone else. He is amazing and at first he said he needed sex more than once a week. We honestly chatted about it but I’ve been seeing him about a year and the sex is not great these days. At the start I felt he really wanted me. Now I flirt and it falls on deaf ears. I’m still wearing nice clothes and making the effort. It’s a bit like he’s got me so doesn’t need to try? He’s lovely. He compliments me but I’m not sure what’s happened? I’m trying to work out if this is just normal.
with my ex I felt as soon as we married and had a child, he was too childish and went for fun elsewhere when I was sleep deprived and probably sex was low on my priority list.
right now I feel I could go on dates easily but I just want to be loved, cuddled in bed and for someone to fancy me! I feel like men just like the chase.
just wanted to know if sex once a week at this age is average?
Thank you xxx

Funny you should say that…
Ive had an offer! I know it will purely be sex/fantasy but when I was a bit insecure I went online and have been speaking to (sexting) someone. He’s 10yrs younger and he’s out in my city this weekend. I think he wants to come round after meeting his mates out. I’ve not had a “hook up” since I was a student so I’m petrified! From his pics, he looks a god! Totally my type. This will be purely sex as I know nothing about him! Is this normal? Is this what people do? I’m scared but secretly very excited to do something outrageous!

@Rainbow122 is that a bit extra on the side … not sure if you are still with your partner and if you tried to address your needs with him?

@Reidwood are you suggesting an open relationship here or that they cheat on their partner?

I’m amazed at all these people who are at it several times a week! How do you have the time or the energy??
Even when I was with someone I couldn’t keep my hands off, it was a couple of times a week (but was amazing each time). My recent ex “D”P didn’t have much of a sex drive at all. I don’t think it was a me thing as he said he and his ex wife didn’t have sex. I just don’t think he’s a very sexual person. I was determined that wasn’t going to happen with us so made an effort to initiate it every so often, as he never did.
(Sadly, the person who I had the best sex life with was also a massive narcissist who emotionally abused me. Had the sex not been so good, I would have been able to leave him earlier. I wish I could find someone nice and normal who also has the pheromones that will attract me!)

It was 5 or 6 days a week for the last 26 years, but after hitting 51, both our libidos have fallen off a cliff. It’s now once a week, only more if we’re on holiday. I never thought this would happen, to be honest.

@Potnoodly if you think of it as cheating then it’s going to be problematic, go with a open mind…be relaxed, feel the vibes, enjoy the company , share chit chat over drinks meal and if it feels right then take it to nx level. It’s understandable you are feeling nervous, look at it as a way to explore your sexuality and to awaken your desires when yiu are back home with DH. I know from experience, no long term commitment, pure sexual experience can be very exciting fulfilling and make you feel you’re back to student days 👍🏿

It is going to be cheating unless her partner agrees to it.

I'm 55, my new DP is 55. Neither of us have saggy wrinkly skin. We have been together this weekend and had sex 3 times each day plus lots of snogging. But we've only been seeing each other about 4 months so in the Honeymoon period right now.

Previously I was in a sexless marriage for the past 10 years so I am joyfully making up for lost time. I feel like a teenager again.

Love this!
Someone has done a number on that posters confidence.

DH and I do actually have a healthy sex life. We dtd approx twice a week, and we are very loving towards each other.

But I only had 1 sexual partner before him, so feel like I’ve missed out on the early 20s frolicking and free sex vibe.

I’m not willing to to cheat though. Fantasies works.

@Potnoodly Enjoy your active sex life with DH, be spontaneous and be varied…maybe different location or room? How about joining him in shower or bath without telling him? Remember as young adult’s student,you’d would have found different times and ways to enjoy your partner!

I take your point but how the hell do you know this about your grandparents

@QueefQueen80s

not always, the medications have side effects.

dh really can’t manage more than twice a week but he’s a bit older than me

I have a lot of sex at 46.
Unfortunately I live at no. 32.

(boom-boom, resurrected joke from the 1970s).