How often do you have sex after 45?

[Rainbow122]

Hi,
I was married. He had affair so that was the end of that. Anyway, fast-forward 4 years and I’ve met someone else. He is amazing and at first he said he needed sex more than once a week. We honestly chatted about it but I’ve been seeing him about a year and the sex is not great these days. At the start I felt he really wanted me. Now I flirt and it falls on deaf ears. I’m still wearing nice clothes and making the effort. It’s a bit like he’s got me so doesn’t need to try? He’s lovely. He compliments me but I’m not sure what’s happened? I’m trying to work out if this is just normal.
with my ex I felt as soon as we married and had a child, he was too childish and went for fun elsewhere when I was sleep deprived and probably sex was low on my priority list.
right now I feel I could go on dates easily but I just want to be loved, cuddled in bed and for someone to fancy me! I feel like men just like the chase.
just wanted to know if sex once a week at this age is average?
Thank you xxx

I don’t believe the statistics in that survey at all. I know at least five couples in RL in their 50s who have sexless marriages but they are all devoted, spend all their time together and have full active lives. Sex isn’t the be all and end all at that age.

In fact I agree with the previous poster who suggested that there must be a biological reason our looks fade, bits start drying up and libido wanes! I’m not sure we are meant to still be going at it hammer and tongs into old age. If you are, good for you, but I’m pretty sure the majority aren’t. They just don’t talk about it because there is gardening and grandchildren instead.

Having teenagers at home is so hard. By the time we get into bed we’re exhausted and even then the teenagers are roaming around the house til all hours. I’ve lost count of how many times they’ve came to speak to me at one in the morning. It’s having a negative effect on our sex life. Sadly, because of the age gap of our kids I can’t see us having any peace and quiet for years yet!

50 & 56 together 30 years
sex average once a week, sometimes twice.

We have a wedge for the door and kids know to knock also. If they try to come in we just tell them we’ll chat later. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to tell children the bedroom is off limits sometimes.

Plus of course everyone earns a wage in the top 1% .
whilst on mn…….a lot ! …..so 🤷‍♀️

Not for 3 years!

Been with DH 20 years - for the first 15 years or so - lots. Last few years probably on average once a week- perimenopausal, libido has disappeared ☹️ . I am 48

Blimey, glad I read these threads because it gives perspective, for many it's more often than I realised!

Slightly different but understandable where you are coming from with the idea is stability.
I come from a broken home and I am determined to give my kids stability and two good parents even though sex has dropped off to nil in the last few years. I am not looking to change my family set up just because I’m not getting any.

Being divorced with a decently-present ex helps!

I haven’t had new children with partner, so basically 2-3 days a week we can have delightfully noisy sex. Rest of time it’s the quiet option…..

still, after seven years, it’s normally in bed - to answer your other question. Ahhh I remember those happy days of the kitchen table, the stairs, in mad passion!

I’m surprised by the number of posters who know the intimate details of the sex lives of friends and acquaintances.

Oh for gods sake 😂

Well if a thread that was on earlier in the week was to be believed, women regularly talk about their sex life to their friends, colleagues, acquaintances, or anyone who will listen, and they seem particularly keen to talk about the size of their partner/husband's cock. Imagine how they'd feel if discovered their partner/husband talked about her fanny/vagina/vulva to his mates?!

All that said, like a pp on here, I don't believe half the rubbish posts on this thread about how married people aged 50+ shag 5-10 times a week .. (Posters in their 60s are claiming they're at it like bunnies 4-6 times a week! 😆) Like I don't believe most people on here who claim they are in the top 1% of earners in the country, or the ones who claim they walk 20,000+ steps a day, weigh 7 stone wet, are a size 4, and make a lettuce leaf last a week.

MN is full of dreamers. 😆

Oh by the way, I NEVER talk about my sex life, or the size of my husband's cock, and I don't know any woman who does. Only on MN do I see women claiming that they and their friends discuss it all the time!

Mutual desires is important , being spontaneous, even making quick time during working hours, at friends party , finding a spot to be intimate, there is no rule to say it has to be in bedroom at end of a busy week out of duty….libido varies for different people so be bold to keep it alive

I don't think it matters what are people are doing or what they're happy with. What matters is your relationship. Are you both getting what you want, or at least a happy compromise, not just with sex but all aspects? If not, how can you work together to improve things?

Wow.. 😂

How old are you? I’m in my 30s and I talk about sex and relationships with friends all the time. It’s easily in the top 3 topics of discussion among some friends. I see nothing wrong with it and thought it was fairly common.

I read that we begin to biologically deteriorate from age 27. Does that mean we should stop having sex after 27?!

Also you’ve contradicted yourself - if those not having sex aren’t talking about not having sex, how can you know at least five couples who are in sexless marriages?

We are both late 50s, it's once or twice (if I can find the energy) a week for us. My libido disappeared with the menopause, I can't have HRT due to my previous breast cancer.

@MissyB1 hi, is sex an afterthought knowadays? be spontaneous, try it at different times of day in different places…even go for a drive outside….all depends if you’re both onboard to try! As long you both enjoy the experience then it’s worth the efforts

@Crushed23 totally agree, if you’re open without reservations then chatting about it with friends, sharing ideas without hang ups can help everyone. I’m sure some of yiur friends will have tried out what you may have told them about your sex adventures

I feel like this too!.. Although dh and I have a healthy sex life, I’ve been with him for 20yrs, since I was 21!… I long to go and sow some oats, and fantasise about other men I know.

I find sex with the same person dull after a couple of years so not very often currently.

Wow guys!!! At 47 I may feel a bit older but no way wrinkly and past it. I take care of myself, Pilates every day, good face creams, supplements and whole foods most of the time. What ever you put into your body will make you feel good and for me that includes my dp’s penis on a regular basis! I don’t look like i am in my prime like five years ago due to peri but I am not going down without a fight!

@Tractorgork how adventurous are you both? Are you comfortable chatting about sexual desires openly with each other or one or both rather conservative types and sex is not a priority in your lifestyle?

@Potnoodly stay active, nothing wrong with fantasising or even sowing your seed as you say…it will enhance your sex life with DH