Ex refusing permission for holidays outwith UK

[Exasperated80]

Last year my ex refused to give permission for me to take our daughter to America for a holiday. He refused mediation and gave our solicitor the run around and we ended up having to go to court. The Sheriff found in our favour and we eventually got to go. However it resulted in a solicitors bill of £8,500!

Our daughter is 14 and desperately wants to go abroad again, however her dad has refused permission for her to leave the UK. This included a ski trip to France organised by her school.

I don't think I've any option but to go to court again but can't possibly afford the cost of last time!! Scottish law doesn't seem as straightforward as English law in that there not just a form you can complete. Everything I find just says to speak to a solicitor. Does anyone in Scotland have any experience and/or advice? Thanks 🙏

The version ChatGPT showed me sounded a bit tedious but could be worked through. So if she wats to go on next year's ski trip... start NOW!

@Exasperated80 sorry sent you the wrong form f9 for scotland

the child I think can apply on her own behalf so she should might get legal aid.

Google "Scotland form f9" and you'll get not only the Scottish equivalent to a C100, but also some guidance notes.

More info here:

familylawyersglasgow.com/what-is-a-c100-form-family-law-scotland-solicitor/#:~:text=In%20Scotland%2C%20the%20equivalent%20of,often%20involving%20a%20family%20court

This way you can self-rep. I know sweet nothing about the legal process in Scotland, but my experience of English courts is they can be very sympathetic to people who can't afford to keep paying lawyers - as long as you're trying your best to navigate a complex system.

You've had some exposure to the process so you'll probably have some idea of how to get the court's consent.

Good luck!

@allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld and @PersonIrresponsible thanks for that. Unfortunately that's just the form that DD would complete as part of the process (she had to do this last time). I've contacted my solicitor to see what I can do. Wish me luck!!

@Exasperated80 just think, she wont need her dad's permission to go abroad in 2 years time! she can apply for her own passport. adult age in scotland is 16 but he will still pay for her while she is in education. good luck x

There are some lovely places in the UK Highlands Orkney Cornwall Snowdonia Yorkshire northern Ireland and cities London Brighton York bath if you are fed up of Glasgow and Edinburgh

It's annoying for you but it protects some mums from their children being abducted abroad and never seeing them again.

It's a real shame you didn't get a Residence Order in the first place. That would have been more "future proof" than the emergency order (although I guess the emergency order would have been quicker and you may not have got a residence order in time for that trip).

My suggestion is to contact Citizens Advice Scotland. Even though they might not have the specialist legal knowledge to help they should be able to signpost you to any law clinics or free resources that exist to help you through the process.

@Halfemptyhalfling absolutely I'm all for UK holidays - we have done loads of them. It's just nice to go somewhere with guaranteed sunshine sometimes!

I absolutely agree with the legislation in terms of preventing actual abduction. It's just a pity that it's abused by some people as a form of control. I suppose you can't legislate for that 🤷🏻‍♀️🤣

@AnotherEmma we could only do a single trip because of the tight timescale and having the best chance of getting it approved in time. If he'd said no right at the beginning we would have had enough time to get something permanent in place but 🤷🏻‍♀️

I've emailed a couple of places suggested today so I'll see what I get back but citizens advice could be a good shout. Thank you 😊

@Exasperated80
I did it all by myself, the Specific Issues Order and the Child Arrangement Order.
You can do it too!
It wasn't easy but I was determined to do it for my children.
I also grabbed a Mackenzie friend on the day of the CAO for a bit of back up.
£215 for peace of mind an taking back control.

I'm rooting for you OP. I feel like you should start a crowdfunder, put him in his place. Imagine stopping your child from having a school trip. How dare he? But 2 years will fly by so get saving now so you've got enough to send him a postcard.

@Marmight can I ask if this was in Scotland? Thanks

Thanks @ColourByNumbers88 I'll not say what I'll be writing on the postcard 🤣

irrelevant as you're in England and OP is in Scotland. Different legal systems.

So in Scotland, impossible to self-represent in the Family Court?

One day she will wake up and see him for what he is a bullying abusive nasty man who would deny his DD to try to spite his exw.

@Marmight yes you can self represent in Scotland but it's a far more complex process, and costs a lot more unfortunately 😕

Thats shit.

Perhaps you can save the cash and have a once in a lifetime holiday when your DD can travel.

Send a photo to your ex with the you and DD sipping champagne somewhere nice.

Certainly two fingers up to your ex.

Sorry you don't have an easy way forward at the moment

Thanks @Marmight - it's all a bit rubbish but I'll keep digging and see if I can find a way. Us mum's always find a way 💕

I agree with this. It's absolutely shit for the kid/s when they realise their father is a complete shit though ☹️