Don't want emotionally abusive XH in my new home, how to explain to DC?

[Lavenderfowl]

I'm about to move out of the FMH and into my own place, taking DS9 with me (his dad only has him EOW by choice).

I have had to put up with XH coming into the FMH for the last few years, pushing boundaries and often doing unpleasant things (taking photos of messy kitchen, taking things etc). I REALLY don't want him over the threshold in our new home, but how do I explain that to DS9, when he's going to want to show him his new bedroom, XH will deliberately turn up early so he has to wait whilst DS gets ready etc...

DS knows there are reasons why I divorced XH, but so far I've not given him any detail...he's a smart kid and he knows I'm uncomfortable around his dad. It's DS' home too though...do I let him show XH once and then no more (I don't even want that..)

Help please!

What's that got to do with the price of eggs?

Just stay firm, if your ds wants to show him his room, let him FaceTime his Dad on your phone to show him, but make sure you're there so he doesn't ask to show him the rest of the house.

If your ds asks if his df can come in, simply say no, it's not his house so he's not coming in. Be firm and don't enter into a discussion with him about it.

If your exdh tries to come in, then block his way and if he tries to push past tell him from then onwards you'll bring ds out to him, and shut and lock the door behind you. In fact if you think he'll try to push past come outside to hand over ds and lock the door. I had to do this with my ex.