For the past few years, I’ve had a creeping sense that our almost 30 year relationship is coming to an end. The issue is my she says he’s very happy with the way things are when I express that I am not and I am pining for romance, hearts and flowers etc which is not realistic. What I actually want is conversation, some intimacy other than sex and for us to socialise together, not always apart. He has work, his sport and then he comes home and we watch TV. I talk at him, as he’s not interested in what I have to say most of the time. He’s not interested in holidays as he thinks that’s just people not being content with what they have. He doesn’t understand why me and my dd would want to go away more than once every couple of years. Even then he never really enjoys it. He does have a health condition which means his energy is limited and he says once work and sport is done there’s nothing left. He misunderstands my want for us to start socialising with friends and family again as being too needy and I should just do these things on my own. I think it’s very important to have your own interests, but staring down the barrel of sitting at home in relative silence is terrifying. I’ve said I can’t go on like this and he has said he’s perfectly happy so it’s up to me. And I guess that’s true, so I end the botch that breaks up the family I suppose.
he says I want him to change and tbh he’s absolutely right - I feel like we are so isolated from the world and the fun has just gone.
am I unrealistic? Is this what relationships are? I’ve been with him for so long, I’m not sure what to feel anymore. Leaving someone or beauties they are a bad person but that it feels like the light has gone out feels so shallow. And then there’s my dad, house, my wonderful dog etc.
i know I can’t do this for the rest of my life, it goes so fast but what do I do?