He just threatened to remove my credit card

[thirtyseven37]

We've only been separated two weeks and he's already threatened to remove my credit card. It's his account and I have a card. I use it to buy food shopping and stuff for the kids. We live together - he earns the money and I provide the childcare and housework. What can I do?

What are your plans for supporting yourself once the divorce has gone through? Could you bring these plans forward at all?

Ask him how he expects to feed his children.

Well if you're separated he's not responsible for supporting you. You need to be jobseeking or you'll need to claim benefits as a single parent. In the meantime you need to live separately in the same house, so no washing for him, no shopping, no cooking, nothing. He should still provide support for the kids food ect but you need to be prepared to pay your own way. It's not going to be easy.

You are in a very difficult position if it's his account and you have no money of your own. He can absolutely stop you having access to it.

I don't know what the solution is, but perhaps Citizens Advice can offer suggestions. Are you married? Because if not, then you are in a truly difficult position.

He can't leave you without access to money but he can decide that you no longer use his card.

Is he still living in the house? Have you worked out a budget that you will need for essentials, such as food & clothes? Do you get child benefit?

Hmm. A bit surprised at these answers. I typed out my situation and knew what responses I'd get so deleted. @thirtyseven37 I would book an appointment with a solicitor and get in quick to get support and confirmation. In the meantime ask him when he's going to get the kids food in. Draw out some cash.

what can you do?

get your own bank account
get child benefit paid into it
come up with a plan for financial independence

CMS, get a claim in today
UC, get a claim in today
Jobs, get one, anything, then get a better one

and this is why Mumsnet often advises that women don’t give up a career or a job to stay at home. Never be relying on a men to provide for you is such good advice

Do you not have access to a current account debit card rather than a credit card? I wouldn't put all that day to day spending on a credit card

If you are not married then there is nothing you can do to make him give you anything except put a claim in through cms.

So if you are not married then I would start making plans to claim all benefits you can, put a claim in for child maintenance and start looking for a job.

If you are married then book an appointment with a solicitor sharpish to understand your situation better and then proceed from there.

Are you married?

I know people that use a credit card for everything possible and clear it off each month. They collect points for flights so all their spending is done this way, I don’t think it’s hugely unusual.

Thanks for your replies. We are married. I have looked at the UC application checklist. I haven't had my first payslip yet so I don't know exactly how much I earn.
In regards to how much mortgage I pay, should I quote the whole monthly mortgage amount or half as it's in both our names? He pays it all at the moment because I have no money.

My plans are to apply for UC as I only earn £700 a month. I can't afford a place to live on that salary.

I've only just got CB as he earns over the threshold so now we've separated, I've applied for it. That is being paid into my own account

Yeah I know. I didn't have a choice. One of us had to drastically reduce our hours to do the school run and it had to be me as I earn less.

And your plans to increase your income?

yiu need to sit Duennweiller with him and agree financual
support in the interim until divorce and financing settlement is agreed. Have you had that discussion? Who instigated separation?

you’ll need to work out your assets and look at what you might be entitled to in a split

If you're still living together then he will likely need to pay back any child benefit you claim with him being the higher earner

No plans to increase income at the moment. I've only just got the new job. I'm working the maximum number of hours that I'm available between the school run. There is no childcare around here as everywhere is full. I'm on minimum wage.

how old are your children? Do you meet the minimum income threshold for UC? UC might require you to work more hours. Will you get money from the divorce? If you have savings now or then over £16k you won’t get UC.

What’s the plan long term? You mention a mortgage, is there equity in the house? Is the plan for you to stay in the house? Or him? Or sell?

Are you still living together? Will they give you the CB if he’s over the threshold but you’re still technically married & living in the same household even if you’re separated?

If you've separated then you shouldn't be using his credit card. However, you need to feed your children.
You need to increase your earning power , easier said than done, but you need to provide for your children. He needs to provide, massively but you tell him .

Anyone can claim CB so she would certainly get the money. What is under question is whether he would be liable to pay it back if they are still living together

I work 26 hours a week. I've just looked at the UC website and apparently I have to work 30 hours to qualify. I'm f*cked then