He just threatened to remove my credit card

[thirtyseven37]

We've only been separated two weeks and he's already threatened to remove my credit card. It's his account and I have a card. I use it to buy food shopping and stuff for the kids. We live together - he earns the money and I provide the childcare and housework. What can I do?

Assume he'll be sharing childcare/school pick ups now you're separated?

No because he's at work.

Is he cutting off your access to joint bank accounts or savings? Can you pay for groceries etc from these sorts of funds? I do not think he should be cutting you off completely. You have supported his career and in fact are continuing to do so while he's at work. It's not like you can change your financial situation or earning potential overnight.

I literally feel like curling into a ball and hiding away from all this. It's too much.

No you have misunderstood the UC, you can still claim and will be entitled to it. However, they will ask that you look to increase your hours or find a second job for those 4 hours..you have time to do that, and you can claim now. Get the claim in for that and CMS..especially if he won't be accommodating any form of childcare moving forward.

How do you only earn £700 a month if you work 26 hours a week? You should earn around £1150 a month?

Thank you. But what do I put down as my mortgage? The whole monthly amount or half because we are liable to pay half each. He currently pays for all of it.

Surely that’s his problem though, op can claim child benefit and ex can pay it back!

How old are the dc?

@Overthebow sorry, you're right. I do earnt that much. The £700 is what remains after I've paid for childcare.

They are KS2

He needs to do some pick ups so you can work.

If he refuses to do anything you can tell him you'll be applying for spousal maintenance (very difficult to get but maybe he doesn't know that)

This is what I need for UC application.

@turkeymuffin He's agreed to do two drop offs in the morning.

Surely the answer to that is nothing as you don’t pay anything towards the mortgage. You can update it later on once you start paying rent or mortgage.

The mortgage payment comes out of our joint account. He pays the full amount into our account.

And the amount you earn is the £1150 amount you get paid, before childcare costs are taken off. If you’re eligible for UC you may get some of the childcare costs covered.

What if I'm not eligible though?

Yes but you don’t pay anything towards. If they see it coming from the joint account and you’ve said you pay half or whatever then they might assume you haven’t separated and you won’t be eligible. You need to separate your finances.

I am aware that we need separate finances. I can't change the mortgage coming out of a joint account though

I'm really sorry you are feeling this way. It's a horrible situation. Although Mumsnet says that women should always keep up their careers in order to prevent themselves being left vulnerable, this isn't always possible.

When you get UC, you can get help with childcare costs. I don't know what happens if you don't have childcare options available though.

Do I need to declare that I live with STBEH? When I had a look at the 'are you eligible?' form, none of the options included this. There was 'friend, relative, non dependent relative and lodge. STEXH doesn't come
Under any of these categories

My original career which I am trained in required me to work 8:30 to 5 which I can't do as I have to take my kids to school

increase your hours/work more and pay for childcare like everyone else does.

I think it’s 30 hours or the equivalent of minimum wage at 30 hours. So if you can get paid slightly more than minimum wage then you may be covering those extra 4 already.