STBX reducing his income by 80% before completing Form E

[Tex111]

Have been waiting three months for STBX to complete his Form E. Now learned that he's changing jobs and reducing his income by almost 80% (£400,000 to £90,000). I was a SAHM for over twenty years and can't support myself yet. I've started a new career that takes time to build and have been applying for jobs but getting nowhere.

I'm slightly freaking out as I feel so helpless. My solicitors think this is a calculated ploy on STBX's part to reduce my settlement and say I should take him to court. We've got two kids at uni. Anyone else been through something similar? What did you do?

We sold the family home in '22 and I have a small flat that's less than half the size of the previous house, but I have bedrooms for both kids. DD lives with me. I don't want to lose this flat. It's home now. The kids and I both need this stability. I'm also near my support network in London and would struggle without them if I had to move somewhere cheaper.

I think STBX is trying to punish me for something even though he caused the split. Feeling so anxious about it all.

how long ago did you split?

unless they’re going to a local uni op…. so will your children

Sold the family home in December '22.

Take the properties and sell them for actual cash and make your own investments.

Don’t cut of your nose etc etc

'unless they’re going to a local uni op…. so will your children'

Yes, I'm trying to process the imminent empty nest too.

that doesn’t really answer my question

so… pick up phone to your solicitor op. Seriously, you need to have expectations managed and plan. accordingly

I guess we didn't legally separate until we filed for divorce in January this year. ExH said it was better for tax reasons not to. We had planned to try the 'living apart, together' approach. Or that's what he said. Once we were in separate flats, he made no effort to see me so eventually I stopped trying and started accepting that the marriage was really over.

We jointly own my flat.

ok so are you going to call your solicitor ????

Yes, will do it now.

hallelujah!

He has most definitely planned this.

Do see the best family lawyer you can, OP.You certainly need to go to court.

Worst case:everything sold and everything split.

I am 53 and in a very similar position.

So it's his flat too?

So what will change re dc? I can't imagine you're funding them on 12k a year to pay for finishing school, a gap then uni, and uni for one. Has he said he won't continue to pay for them?
What are you doing on that wage and what's funding your general life?

Your solicitors don't sound great tbh, doesn't sound like they've been clear with you at all about what you may be entitled to.

OP if one child is over 18 and the other will be before your divorce is finalised then you aren't expected to pay for them.

He will be expected to give them money directly if they are in education but possibly won't.

Regardless it isn't your direct fight.

Your children, who are/will be young adults, are expected to ask him for money themselves.

OP, it took me a year to find a good lawyer as unfortnately I am not in England.

I would go to the best you can, in London or similar. He will be doing this. He thought he could keep you hanging until youngest was home free.

Have you looked properly for a lawyer? You will have to take out a loan probably. Do it.
Much empathy from me.

Periodic payments aren't as common as they used to be but they are possible and are used. It's not that uncommon in exactly the situation that the OP describes i.e. a high-earner with a spouse who hasn't worked for decades but without enough assets to make an immediate clean break with sufficient support for the lower earner. They tend to do exactly what the OP mentions - provide support for a limited time whilst the ex gets established in employment.

The OP is legally advised by solicitors who presumably have far more detail on the situation than we do, they will also have seen this kind of drop in income scenario before.

No sorry I completely misinterpreted your post and wrote something embarrassingly incorrect so edited it away. Apologies, you did nothing wrong.

Just to confirm, after clarifying with my solicitors, they do think that I would receive spousal support due to the income disparity with ExH's current income. I need to be able to pay into the state pension and increase any share of pension I receive from ExH as well as support myself to retirement age. It would decrease as my income increased. My labour supported him in developing his career (he was unemployed with lots of debt when we met). Everything we have was built within the marriage.

Of course, if he massively reduces his income that affects me. I don't think he's talking to the kids about this. He's not a very communicative person, especially when he's doing something that could be questioned or cause distress.

Op, seems like whilst you think that there’s lots of money going around, in reality there isn’t.

Properties need to be sold if neither of you can afford to keep them. If he’s now earning £70k a year, can’t see any judge giving you more that a few hundred a month after assets are split.

Be very careful in what you fight for, as you may end up with a lot less plus have to pay extortionate legal fees.

Exactly this.

DFriend’s ex-DH is a city trader. He was on the standard 200k base plus around 50-80K net bonus. He got made redundant and started to trade from home instead of looking for another position. He declared his income as 40k. Basically he lived with his parents and cut his outgoings right down while they were divorcing. The judge stated that they were very dubious that he was unable to earn more, but that since there was no way to prove this, this was what the divorce would have to be based on. Dfriend got 55% of the proceeds of the sale of their owned home, one years spousal (around £300 a month) and child maintenance set at the CMS level. She’s back working full time after being a SAHM since they married. She lost a lot by going to court; she didn’t get any more than what he first offered thru lawyers

@MississippiAF why on earth didn’t her sol include a variation order?!

I'd be delighted to work full time. I just can't seem to get the jobs. I've done volunteer work to fill the gap a bit, had my CV edited, etc. If that happens to me I don't know how I'll cope. If I get my flat, I guess I would sell it and leave London, but that will also reduce my employment opportunities. Feeling totally fucked by the situation.