Hi all, I'm going round in circles with my abusive exh so need some clarity on a point.
As a very brief background, he's always been very unpleasant to me on and off according to whatever mood he was in. Verbally and emotionally abusive especially when my Dd arrived and he struggled with her bad sleep etc. I made the horrible choice of having an exit affair which I regret daily - I posted about it all at the time under this username. So there's lots of animosity in our split and he's clearly very angry with me still which is understandable. Just giving that perspective so I'm being balanced.
Anyway, we now Co-parent 50/50, obviously I hate that but my 6yo DD is amazing and thriving. She is safe at his, he's horrible to me but loves DD and is a very involved and caring dad. We live very close together and her best friend happens to live on the corner of exh's road. I am close friends with the mum of that little girl. I haven't particularly given much detail on what happened in the marriage or that I had an affair, but I did make a few very brief comments when we split up about him being very aggressive and threatening towards me, so she probably recalls that.
Anyway, DD has on several occasions asked exh if her friend could come round to his to play - each time he's emailed me to ask me to arrange, I've then messaged her mum to ask if it's ok and have given his number to her to get back to him directly. Each time (latest one was last night) she's said they're busy and asked me to let him know. That's completely fine by me and up to her if she doesn't want her daughter going to his house.
Anyway last night this turned into a huge rant from him (the usual abuse thrown in over me being a freeloading dosser whore) over how it is my fault that DD doesn't have friends over to play at his, it's more difficult for him as a male to arrange with other mums, and I should be facilitating, and the fact that I'm not shows that I'm trying to get in the way of it happening so that DD enjoys being at my house more (as we have friends over to play).
Exh has just as much opportunity as me to strike up convo at the school dates, or message other mums who's numbers he does have to arrange friends to come round. I've pointed this out to him and said it's not my job to coordinate at his house and he's so angry with me and making out like I'm being completely unreasonable. He said that I've clearly turned my 'grim little mums group' against him by spouting 'nonsense' about him being aggressive and abusive (I haven't, but he is), that it's more difficult for him to arrange as it's usually mums that sort those things, and that I'm not acting in DD's best interests by telling him that he needs to sort this out himself.
I honestly don't know what he expects me to do, I always pass on messages when he asks me to and half the time he treats me like his bloody PA which I do sort for DD's sake, but I don't know how he expects me to suddenly be facilitating play dates at his out of the blue.
He ended his last email with 'this is a which is a huge shame for DD when she lives so close and would love to play. But dont worry about it you just focus on you same as you always have and always do I will figure something out myself.'
I guess I'm just looking for some perspective here - fair enough it might be a bit awkward for him approaching other mums to arrange for play dates but I don't see what my role should be!!
As usual I'm now worried about dd and feeling sad that she's always knocked back at his when she asks if her friend can go round 
As a side note the friend in question is already booked in to come and play at mine after school tomorrow 