Would a judge FORCE me to Leave??

ZAK3 · 2022-06-20T11:25:21+00:00

Hi, husband emotionally abusive I have a case worker now, have a shared ownership flat own 50% , despite him telling me he guaranteed me he wouldn't force a sale , hes now changed his tune & said he's instructing a solicitor i don't want to leave the home, 3 kids youngest about to start school , the mortgage part is very low, it would mean going from an already overcrowded home to private renting somebody else's Flat, houses are crazy around my area so a 3 bed is around 1,450 pcm to 1800 & above , I earn minimum wage His salary would enable him to private rent but of course he doesn't want to he wants equity to buy somewhere ( would only be able to do a housing scheme) I have already had legal advice & she thought it was very unlikely a judge would order a sale but I guess you never know!!! Does anyone have any experience or advice??? TIA

DenholmElliot1 · 20/06/2022 12:28

The first thing you need to do is to see whether the mortgage company or a new mortgage company will allow you to purchase the property yourself.

It's pointless fighting to stay in a house when you don't know whether the mortgage company will accept you anyway.

Original poster

ZAK3 · 20/06/2022 12:34

I can't afford to buy him out but could hopefully manage the current mortgage on my own , was hoping for a deferred sale until youngest is 18

OP posts:

motogirl · 20/06/2022 12:47

A deferred sale that long is highly unlikely, what is the equity in the property? that is key along with other assets like individual savings, pensions etc. you are likely to be awarded over 50% of equity

millymollymoomoo · 20/06/2022 13:01

It’s a short marriage, in short offset by the number of minor dependents
as pp a deferred sage for next 15 years possibly unlikely
yiu need to see if you can take over the mortgage And upkeep of the property as a starting point - do you have approved mortgage offer?

are there any other assets? What’s the value of equity ?

millymollymoomoo · 20/06/2022 13:03

Sorry don’t know where I got short marriage from….
Do you understand all your assets, earnings, what overall % you are likely ?

Original poster

ZAK3 · 20/06/2022 14:21

Equity is about 60 k total!!! There are literally no other assets , hes self employed no private pension for him, i have one at work but I only pay the bare minimum required

the part I don't get is that if a sale is forced and there are no properties to rent ( very little out there & most won't take someone on UC ) then where the hell would I go with the kids? A hotel??

OP posts:

AnneLovesGilbert · 20/06/2022 14:33

There are always properties to rent somewhere and you can apply for social housing, different areas have different availability.

You're paying your lawyer for her advice so take it but look at all the options available to you.

If he can afford a mortgage he won’t want to wait many years to be able to get one because he’s stuck on one with you.

Original poster

ZAK3 · 20/06/2022 16:31

i can’t just leave it to chance that there will “be somewhere “ to rent that’s not stability for the children potentially pulling them out of their schools because I can’t find anywhere nearby

OP posts:

MrsSchrute · 20/06/2022 16:44

ZAK3 · 20/06/2022 14:21

Equity is about 60 k total!!! There are literally no other assets , hes self employed no private pension for him, i have one at work but I only pay the bare minimum required

the part I don't get is that if a sale is forced and there are no properties to rent ( very little out there & most won't take someone on UC ) then where the hell would I go with the kids? A hotel??

If the sale is forced then your options will be:
Find a private rental that accepts UC in your area
Move to a cheaper area

The council have a duty of care so as a last resort they will house you. Most probably in some kind of temporary accommodation (B and B etc) for a sling as it takes for council housing to become available. Could be years.

Is there anything you can do now to improve your situation? Can you increase your hours or look for higher paid work?

Original poster

ZAK3 · 20/06/2022 17:14

This is what I’m trying to gauge weather a judge would be likely to force a sale , disrupting the kids schooling , and making them leave the only home their have ever known just because their dad doesn’t want to waste his money on private rent , that seems crazy to me , I thought it was all about what is best for the children

OP posts:

Sirzy · 20/06/2022 17:19

The problem is with his name on a residential mortgage then it’s very hard for him to get a mortgage on somewhere else. I think you would be hard pressed to find someone agreeing to let you live there for 15 years with him still on the mortgage.

speaking from experience with my partner the longer these these are left the more complex they become to sort out too.

Ohsugarhoneyicetea · 20/06/2022 17:22

Can you increase the mortgage by £20k and offer him that? And find out what the private pension is as that is a marital asset as well.

astoundedgoat · 20/06/2022 17:26

What can you do to improve your income now? Can you be approved to take over the mortgage, or if not, assess what you need to increase your earnings to, to do so?

Am I right in understanding that you would need 30k to buy him out? Could your parents help?

The two immediate concerns would be seeing if you WOULD be approved for the mortgage, would the mortgage company lend you the extra capital to buy him out, and improving your wage. What do you do?

DaftyLass · 20/06/2022 17:28

I think your best bet is to relocate to a cheaper area, and forge new roots there.
There is not a hope for him to keep the house in his name another 12-15 years, that's a long time to be blocked from buying somewhere himself

Original poster

ZAK3 · 20/06/2022 17:30

MrsSchrute · 20/06/2022 16:44

If the sale is forced then your options will be:
Find a private rental that accepts UC in your area
Move to a cheaper area

The council have a duty of care so as a last resort they will house you. Most probably in some kind of temporary accommodation (B and B etc) for a sling as it takes for council housing to become available. Could be years.

Is there anything you can do now to improve your situation? Can you increase your hours or look for higher paid work?

Show quote history

Yes a school mum had similar in our area she was in a one bed bed sit for two years with two kids before she got a house nearer the school

OP posts:

Overthebow · 20/06/2022 17:40

I’m not sure you’d get a deferred sale for 15 years. He is entitled to a share of the equity and it’s reasonable that he wants it.

if you want to stay in the house then you need to buy him out.

RunNolaRun · 20/06/2022 18:10

The irony of being a woman.
Man and women meet
Woman has child and must adapt to the childcare routine as man's job is never flexible, often involving choosing a low paid job
Man becomes emotionally abusive
MN says leave the bastard
Woman kicks man out
MN says well you can't afford that now on your shit wages, sell the house, watch your ex buy a lush one bed pad which conveniently allows him to be able to have the kids overnight whilst mum has to move her kids far from all they know to live in a one bed bed sit for years!
And we wonder why women don't leave abuse.
Op I am in exactly the same situation but not leaving as I can't afford it and my kids are reasonably happy. It's shit and I feel your pain with every inch of my being.

Original poster

ZAK3 · 20/06/2022 18:30

RunNolaRun · 20/06/2022 18:10

The irony of being a woman.
Man and women meet
Woman has child and must adapt to the childcare routine as man's job is never flexible, often involving choosing a low paid job
Man becomes emotionally abusive
MN says leave the bastard
Woman kicks man out
MN says well you can't afford that now on your shit wages, sell the house, watch your ex buy a lush one bed pad which conveniently allows him to be able to have the kids overnight whilst mum has to move her kids far from all they know to live in a one bed bed sit for years!
And we wonder why women don't leave abuse.
Op I am in exactly the same situation but not leaving as I can't afford it and my kids are reasonably happy. It's shit and I feel your pain with every inch of my being.

Ahhhhh thank you I needed that!!! I mean as if I haven’t got enough to deal with why not throw in homelessness aswell!!! 🤦🏼‍♀️!!!

I could understand if I writing this from my nice 4 bed detached house , not a two bed flat where all kids share a room already!!!!

OP posts:

dreammattemousse · 20/06/2022 18:57

The irony of being a woman.
Man and women meet
Woman has child and must adapt to the childcare routine as man's job is never flexible, often involving choosing a low paid job
Man becomes emotionally abusive
MN says leave the bastard
Woman kicks man out
MN says well you can't afford that now on your shit wages, sell the house, watch your ex buy a lush one bed pad which conveniently allows him to be able to have the kids overnight whilst mum has to move her kids far from all they know to live in a one bed bed sit for years!
And we wonder why women don't leave abuse.
Op I am in exactly the same situation but not leaving as I can't afford it and my kids are reasonably happy. It's shit and I feel your pain with every inch of my being.

Best post ever

dreammattemousse · 20/06/2022 18:59

I'm also leaving abuse
With kids
Currently Right in the middle of it
I will end up in a shit hole and my ex won't

It kills me but I think the mental abuse would have done that anyway...

Branleuse · 20/06/2022 19:02

Unless things have massively changed, if they are his children too, then he cannot force a sale while they are still under 18 and in full time education. If you did decide to sell, and you are main carer of the children, you could get a larger percentage of the house.
I think you need a proper solicitor too. He cannot make them homeless.

SaintJavelin · 20/06/2022 19:17

Branleuse · 20/06/2022 19:02

Unless things have massively changed, if they are his children too, then he cannot force a sale while they are still under 18 and in full time education. If you did decide to sell, and you are main carer of the children, you could get a larger percentage of the house.
I think you need a proper solicitor too. He cannot make them homeless.

Of course he can, mesher orders are incredibly rare these days.

AnneLovesGilbert · 20/06/2022 19:30

No one is saving where the OP finds herself is fair or good. People are offering realistic advice, often based on their own recent experiences, about how likely it is she’ll be able to keep a property with her ex’s name on the mortgage.

MN isn’t responsible for women having children with bad men. Or then LTB. Or not being able to afford the marital home. Splitting up is obviously right for OP and the children. If 100 people told her she can definitely stay in the house it wouldn’t change the facts if she can’t get a mortgage to cover it all and her ex doesn’t want to stay on it.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 20/06/2022 19:34

Are there any housing associations in your area. You would have a deposit of £30k?
Also second getting legal advice.

Findingfreedom22 · 20/06/2022 19:41

Hi op
so sorry to hear your issue, I can with almost certainty though promise you that no judge in the land is going to force you out of that flat.
the housing may find your hubby an alternative tell him to go ask.

but you’ve 3 children so you stay put and that will be at least until your youngest leaves education or college etc..

I really would try not to worry maybe chat to shared ownership people & ask what they can do in this situation.
However as he’s abusive he’s gonna have to just sort himself I really wouldn’t care just think of you & kids.
good luck x x