Would a judge FORCE me to Leave??

[ZAK3]

Hi, husband emotionally abusive I have a case worker now, have a shared ownership flat own 50% , despite him telling me he guaranteed me he wouldn't force a sale , hes now changed his tune & said he's instructing a solicitor

i don't want to leave the home, 3 kids youngest about to start school , the mortgage part is very low, it would mean going from an already overcrowded home to private renting somebody else's Flat, houses are crazy around my area so a 3 bed is around 1,450 pcm to 1800 & above , I earn minimum wage

His salary would enable him to private rent but of course he doesn't want to he wants equity to buy somewhere ( would only be able to do a housing scheme)

I have already had legal advice & she thought it was very unlikely a judge would order a sale but I guess you never know!!!

Does anyone have any experience or advice??? TIA

have you checked a mortgsge lender will allow you to take over the mortgage as single applicant?

how will you pay him his share of increased value when you do sell in years to come? Will you be able to buy another house/get larger mortgage / etc when the youngest is 18 and you’re then forced to sell?

The first thing you need to do is claim CMS.

This may boost your income or you may be able to use it to come to an agreement that instead of him paying it he’ll hold off selling the flat for a couple of years.

I think you need to move out or find some way of buying him out though.
You do not want this stress for the next 10+

Have you spoken to the housing association to see if there is any possibility of selling back some shares. Also talk to the mortgage company about extending the mortgage both in terms of the amount (to pay him off) and the term so you have longer to pay it off because you are taking the mortgage just in your name. See if you can argue with him to take a 30% share so you 'just' need to raise 20k - if you point out that going to court will cost him about 10k.

Pushing him though to take the children 50% of the time will weaken your argument that you need the flat for the children because if he has them 50% of the time then so does he need the money for an equivalent flat.

You need to officially register your rights to live there. I'm unsure the details but Google things around that but you do need to register whilst married. You have rights to the home.

So right now I’m not able to buy him out , if UC agree to pay the rent part which I find out soon then if push comes to shove I could take over the mortage payments as it’s relatively low

mortage only has 10 years left on it , so hopefully with equity I would be able to get shared ownership again on my own

I didn’t think of the 50/50 weakening my argument so thank you but it’s difficult as I do need three evenings covered for my childcare each week for work

i don’t doubt that Judges prefer clean breaks & would look at a need for both of us to house the kids but it’s not like I just don’t want to downsize we are already 4 people in a 2bed , the location is important for kids school I can’t just uproot & move away to find somewhere cheaper , would a judge really force a sale to turf 3 kids out of the only stability they have to be reliant on finding a property to rent that accepts UC ( few & far between) and us having to be even more reliant on the benefit system

ignoring his share and being bought out now has a lender already agreed to offer you a mortgage in your sole name?? It’s not about whether yuu are already paying the mirtgsge. You have to pass affordability checks and be offered one in your name

ig the answer is yes you probably stand a chance to stay there while deferring his share

if not it will be more problematic as he’d need to remain on the mortgage

Have you looked into getting legal advice from a legal centre in your area? Some offer pro-bono work especially as he's abusive. Then if/when he proceeds with court, it won't cost you to have someone in your corner.

I got told my earnings had to be under 700 a month for legal aid 🤷‍♀️

The situation here remains the same. Whilst it is always beneficial for divorcing parties to agree a clean break in finances this is not always possible where there issues of housing and dependency.

The OP does need to explore options that could allow her to buy out her ex or find another home which could be rented. If there are routes to her securing a home which allows him to come of the mortgage and / or take out his share of the equity then they should be explored. The OPs ex will explore these options in any court case and present them to the court.

A viable option doesn’t have to be cheaper just affordable. It doesn’t have to allow for home ownership. It could involve her needing to maximise her income. But it will need to ensure the children have a home.

The best option for the OP would have been to buy her ex out months ago. That ship has probably sailed along with low cost mortgages and any chance of the ex agreeing to a new mortgage deal.

Really good advice from @LemonTT .

Unfortunately the OP just didn't seem to listen when people told her she to see if she could get a mortgage offer ( she even came back to this thread to say she was still in the same position months later!) and I agree that sadly, that shop has sailed now.

So that just leaves renting options.

Ship not shop

I didn’t think of the 50/50 weakening my argument so thank you but it’s difficult as I do need three evenings covered for my childcare each week for work

Unfortunately OP judges don't care about your childcare issues all they care about is allowing your children to have a relationship with their father.

You need to think of giving your children's father a carrot so he agrees to look after them when you are working as it is really in your children's best interests for them to have a relationship with their father. It is also in yours as well as their long term best interests that you make this arrangement informally with him.

Obviously you can ignore me like you ignored the people who told you to try and get your housing in your own sole name, but remember you and your ex will be your children's parents for the rest of their lives so you need to the best for them.

@ZAK3

I earn more than that and get legal aid so I'd double check.

I arranged it through this www.gov.uk/check-legal-aid

courts look at protecting the kids and a safe reliable place to live is the key goal. However you need a good solicitor and you need them now. You can ask for a mesher order (and everyone on here will pile in and say they never happen anymore but this is untrue as I have one) you just need a GOOD solicitor.

Mesher orders are not extremely rare - no court would leave 3 small children homeless. However you don’t want to go to court as it’s ridiculously costly so you need a decent solicitor who will fight your corner prior to getting to this stage. PM me if you want a good one me and many of my friends have used

Absolutely correct.

First step would be to talk to your mortgage company. Find out if you can take mortgage on, on your own. My bank asked for total income including benefits and maintenance so they might be counted. Then find out if you can extend the mortgage to offer him equity.

Is he paying maintenance? Be prepared to negotiate with that figure. Self employed men often fiddle the books to get out of maintenance payments so you may find it vanishes regardless.

@MrsSchrute
"The council have a duty of care so as a last resort they will house you. Most probably in some kind of temporary accommodation (B and B etc) for a sling as it takes for council housing to become available. Could be years."

AFAIK the council don't have a duty of care to house somebody with possibly in excess of £30k in their bank account 🙄

What a load of nonsense

Oh I’m sorry I dared to come back to ask for more advice

He wanted £25 k so NO I could not buy him out I’m on minimum wage & can’t increase my hours at work due to childcare , so next you will probably tell me to quit my secure job that I have had for a very long time aswell for my abusive ex to get what he wants

Oh & by the way it’s ship not shop!!!!!

No wonder people don’t want to post on MN with judgemental people like you

I've never heard of a judge ordering the sale of a property when there are children involved. There are not enough homes to house people as it is. Keep positive op. Get yourself a good solicitor and fight for your home. Don't let anyone bully you out of your home. Best of luck x

Why is that a load of nonsense , that’s really nasty to say have you ever been in an abusive relationship??

The house is 50% his -he is entitled to his share, Does he not pay child maintenance? Pending on how much money you have from the house you can either get another shared ownership property .. Some say you need to be earning over 29,000, and u May need to move out of the area to make it affordable… if that’s impossible, Approach the council for housing help if house is sold-they have a legal duty to consider your claim
Considering they will class u as a single mum on minimum wage with children I don’t see why they wouldn’t house you
they can tell you To private rent but Unlikely considering your situation
You will have proceeds of sale of the house however so you could use that as a deposit for a rented place that you like and that is affordable

Thank you for your kind words really appreciate it 💗

Legal aid would run into thousands and you would have to take the money out of the house sale when my mum and dad divorced she got Legal aid. When the house will be so she will need to Pay legal aid back out of the sale