When is fair fair Pension vs House

[PaulaBawla]

In the same predicament as half the country it seems DH has moved out married way too long and 2 grown up children who have fled the next and we are in the process of splitting up.

He is going for either 50/50 or me 60 him 40. The stumbling block is his pension.

Hes offered me the house (about £1m) and business t/o 250k a year in return for him getting a small cottage (about 360k and him keeping his DB pension about £630k).

Im saying I want half the pension the business and the house or I can’t afford the upkeep (which would be about 70/30 to me).

But has said that’s ok if he gets half the house?!!! (again 50/50 apart from the business) but that would mean me having to sell up which I don’t want to do.

In the end can/could the court force me to sell and does my offer seem reasonable my solicitor is hesitant and his solicitor is well not very cooperative…

Simply aren't listening to reason*

Sell the business and liven the profits until you retire.
Alternatively get a manager in. You then work less and still have an income.

Th absolute nerve of the man, how dare he think he can keep anything you have your greedy, entitled eyes on.

It’s becoming very clear why he wants a divorce. Maybe you should take a minute and read back your opening post.

If you keep the house then you get less if the cash/pension to make it fair. You need to work out if the house or cash/pension is more important to you. A bigger house will have higher costs but that's the risk you take if you keep the house.

Your ex is going for the smaller house presumably because he wants lower associated costs.

Divorce is no-fault. He's not financially punished for being the one who left and you need to realise that your assets are also up for grabs. He's made you a more than fair offer if the house is your priority. There's 2.2m in assets and the house is £1m which is close the 50% already. Do you see why many couples sell the house and downsize post divorce?

OP you need to listen to the legal advice you've had and all the views here. Take 50 percent and work out what you can now afford and then make plans for how you will support yourself now and into retirement. You are responsible for yourself now - it's no one else's responsibility.

I recently downsized and paid off my XH's share in the property (which he let us live in post divorce). I also paid off the interest only mortgage I had taken out to give him a deposit for his home (suitable for him and our 2 DC). Because I wanted to stay in the area I had to increase my mortgage and I will need to work till Im 67 to pay it off. I could have bought in a cheaper area but it was my choice to come here. Im glad I downsized - given the cost of living crisis and rising energy bills it was a good decision.

You need to step up now and make sone grown up decisions about the choices you have and how you will support yourself. No man owes you a living. When you think about it it's liberating to be independent and make your own decisions. But to get there you need to take a big reality pill and stop expecting your XH to take care of you. And think about what his needs are too. Fairness matters. Your kids won't respect you if you behave badly towards their Dad. So if you can't do it out of principle do it because their perception of you matters.

Wow OP

You are very entitled

You have had some great advice on here. I would be biting his hand off before he changes his mind