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Divorce/separation

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Original poster

When is fair fair Pension vs House

131 replies

PaulaBawla · 23/05/2022 16:49

In the same predicament as half the country it seems DH has moved out married way too long and 2 grown up children who have fled the next and we are in the process of splitting up.

He is going for either 50/50 or me 60 him 40. The stumbling block is his pension.

Hes offered me the house (about £1m) and business t/o 250k a year in return for him getting a small cottage (about 360k and him keeping his DB pension about £630k).

Im saying I want half the pension the business and the house or I can’t afford the upkeep (which would be about 70/30 to me).

But has said that’s ok if he gets half the house?!!! (again 50/50 apart from the business) but that would mean me having to sell up which I don’t want to do.

In the end can/could the court force me to sell and does my offer seem reasonable my solicitor is hesitant and his solicitor is well not very cooperative…

OP posts:
ancientgran · 23/05/2022 18:21

PaulaBawla · 23/05/2022 18:18

Sorry obviously I’ve never been through this before but is that correct? That seems hugely unfair

What is unfair?

Chewbecca · 23/05/2022 18:21

Put all of the assets and income on the table, then start splitting.

Currently you have only told part of the story.

You can put up to £40kpa into your pension annually which would be a good idea for you to start doing asap from the business to build up more pension between you. You can cfwd allowances too from previous 3 years if you haven’t already used them.

Original poster
PaulaBawla · 23/05/2022 18:22

Because I don’t want to work until 67

OP posts:
Classicblunder · 23/05/2022 18:22

PaulaBawla · 23/05/2022 18:18

Sorry obviously I’ve never been through this before but is that correct? That seems hugely unfair

Why is it fair for you to go after his pension but not for him to go after your savings?

If you push your luck, he will go for a proper 50:50 deal with you assets on the table too

Octomore · 23/05/2022 18:22

Your proposal is hugely unfair, and I don't believe that you can't see it.

You want the whole house (£1m), your savings (£80k), half his pension (£315k), your own pension, and you're also earning well from the business (£112k per year).

While he gets a cottage (£360k), plus half his pension (£315k), his savings (£10k), and he earns less than you (£50k per year).

Poor guy. I really hope he has an excellent solicitor and gets a very favourable settlement.

And you don't have an entitlement to not have to sell the house - what on earth would make you think think you do?

OnceUponAThread · 23/05/2022 18:24

PaulaBawla · 23/05/2022 18:22

Because I don’t want to work until 67

I'm sure he doesn't either, but he'd have to work till he's 200 to make up for the disparity in assets and income that you're suggesting.

Why on Earth do you think that all his assets are on the table when none of yours are?

Why would he split his pension, when you won't split your pension, savings, business or the house?

I genuinely cannot believe what I'm reading.

I hope he has an excellent lawyer and pushes back for a much fairer deal.

SlightlyGeordieJohn · 23/05/2022 18:24

PaulaBawla · 23/05/2022 17:40

I’m not asking for maintenance that’s the point

But I want security in my old age and when I stop running/sell the business the income will stop and I will still have to run the house

so I think half of his pension will just about cover most outgoings

Why would you expect anything more than 50% of the joint assets? That’s the starting point; asking for twice as much doesn’t make any sense given what you’ve posted so far.

NashvilleQueen · 23/05/2022 18:25

What is the size of house you live in now? Why would you want to maintain a big expensive house when there's only you in it?

It feels as though you're looking to punish him but the court will go with what's fair.

SlightlyGeordieJohn · 23/05/2022 18:26

PaulaBawla · 23/05/2022 17:48

Yes I leave the money in the business or use tax efficient ways to get the money out of the company, but my salary as far as NIC is concerned is £12k

That has no bearing at all on how it will be treated in the split. That’s based on the total value of the business.

ancientgran · 23/05/2022 18:27

PaulaBawla · 23/05/2022 18:22

Because I don’t want to work until 67

That doesn't mean you are entitled to have a £1million pound house, half his pension and the business and your own pension. Meanwhile he gets a £360,000 house (will there be a mortgage) a £50k salary (before tax and NI?) and one day half his pension.

Maybe he should get half your pension and you should buy him out of the business, oh and throw in half your savings for good meausre. Does that sound fair? A Judge might think so.

NorthernSpirit · 23/05/2022 18:28

TBH….. you sound grabby.

Assets are (if I have understood correctly):

• The £1m house
• His pension valued at £630k
• Your pension of £120k
• A cottage valued at £360
• Savings of £90k (£80k yours, £10k his)
Assets = £2.2m (a 50:50 split, the starting point would be £1.1m each)

You ‘want’
• A 1m house
• 50% of his pension (£315k)
• All of your pension (£120k)
• I’m guessing you want to keep ‘your’ £80k savings
= £1.515m (69%)*

Plus you get the business (with a turnover of £250 & a NP of £125k that you take a £12k salary from plus tax efficient dividends I guess)?

He gets:
• A cottage valued at £360K
• Half of his own pension (£315k)
• He keeps his £10k savings
= £685k (31%)

I highly doubt that you will get that much based on your income (I assume you take a tax free dividend from the business of £30k + the £12k salary)? So take home pay will be similar if he earns £50k. Plus the fact you have no dependent children.

And yes - a judge can force the same of the house.

Barkingmadhouse · 23/05/2022 18:30

Just demand 100% of everything and maintenence until you die...

You are being very very unreasonable / grabby

SlightlyGeordieJohn · 23/05/2022 18:33

PaulaBawla · 23/05/2022 18:07

The issue is if I sell then I would have to move areas or downsize completely which I don’t want to have to do. I just wanted to know if I could be forced to sell if he insisted on splitting house/pension

I hope he changes his mind, goes for and gets 59% of everything; what you are asking for is completely out of order.

motogirl · 23/05/2022 18:34

I'm currently doing my financials, also long marriage he got fed up. What you are proposing isn't fair. In your circumstances (and mine) close to 50/50 is fair. You have 2 properties so you have the luxury of choosing whether to sell, I had to. I do receive maintenance due to the kids being at university and one having asd so may be dependent for ever.

If your profit from the business is £120k pa that is your position whatever you are doing via the taxman.

Neverhot · 23/05/2022 18:35

Your proposal is so unfair I feel like this is surely a reverse?

If not, of course the court will force the sale of the house. You can't expect the house, pension, business, most of the savings, just because you would like to retire early and not downsize.

Basilthymerosemary · 23/05/2022 18:35

You are not coming across very well. Very grabby and entitled. No one wants to work until they're 67 but we do because we must.

millymollymoomoo · 23/05/2022 18:40

Yabu
hth

bg21 · 23/05/2022 18:44

personally I think it's time the law was changed on pensions ! your pension is your own responsibility, leave your husbands pension alone and sort yourself out !

theskyispurple · 23/05/2022 18:50

Am stunned he managed to stay married to you for so long, you sound beyond entitled.

bellsbuss · 23/05/2022 18:52

Greedy and grabby

SamphirethePogoingStickerist · 23/05/2022 18:54

PaulaBawla · 23/05/2022 18:14

He has said if I want half his pension he will want half the house which he knows I can’t afford, that’s the problem, which makes it so unfair.

No, it doesn't eseem unfair from out here. Your position seems to be wanting your cake and eating it.

The house needs to be sold if you can't afford its upkeep without screwing every penny out of him.

titchy · 23/05/2022 18:56

PaulaBawla · 23/05/2022 18:22

Because I don’t want to work until 67

And he should finance your desire for early retirement because....?

I hope he changes his mind and takes you to the cleaners frankly.

Original poster
PaulaBawla · 23/05/2022 18:58

I’m sorry I don’t mean to come across as “grabby” but if he agrees to the small house his outgoings will be small and he has a pension guaranteed for life.

I have only a small pension and a house to keep up, the business will not go on forever so then I will have a house and no income to support it.

if I ask for half his pension and he insists on selling the big house then I won’t have a house at all whereas he will. This is what I see as most unfair

thank you for all your answers and sorry if I came across wrong

OP posts:
Littlegoth · 23/05/2022 18:59

But you will have a house as you will have enough to buy one.

titchy · 23/05/2022 19:00

Then do what adults do and use the mahoosive profits from your business to buy yourself a pension. Or sell your house. Or, and call me old fashioned here, work to support yourself till you can afford to retire.