Divorce settlement?

[lollypop29]

Hi everyone

Am I entitled to a divorce settlement from my husband if he has owned his property for 10 years before we got married?

We have only been married for 2.5 years but I have left due to abuse. We have a 1 year old together who will be living with me.

Thanks

@ArdoCycle

I don’t think you’ll be able to get legal aid if you have £300k - should also have name changed before you posted this as if anyone searches your names they may find some other pertinent threads….

Wow. In previous threads you say you make £40 per month from your little business.

Time for a very big reality check, a full time job, a kick-ass lawyer who will be able to demonstrate that with an arrest for his drunkenness and social services involvement he's unlikely to get 50/50.

You absolutely do not need to buy a property, renting is an option. With £300k in the bank (eventually) you will be ineligible for any income-based benefits.

Prioritise raising your income, then worry about a mortgage, cause its a long way from £40 a month side hustle to a big London mortgage, even with a huge deposit and potentially shared equity.

You have as much of a responsibility to house your dc as your ex does.

Guys. Yes I do make £40 ish a month from my small business. I have a child to raise and don't have childcare for her at the moment. I'm quite obviously not going to sit on my arse and not bother to get a job! I will go back to my career when I can.

But I would like a contribution towards putting a roof over OUR child's head.

... whilst not making any effort at all to make your own contribution. You want half the supposed equity in his house, mostly earned before you even met? That's £80k+ per year married.

I'd get married again in a heartbeat if that's the way it works!!!

@lollypop29

Why are you all presuming I don't work?!

You said you got pregnant and didn't return to work as you were financially OK.

@flatclearancehelp correct. As a family we were financially fine and he didn't want me to go back to work and I wanted to stay home to raise our child. So that's what we did.

I was married 5 years and my ex had bought the house outright but luckily in both names . He had a huge pension. I asked for 70pc of the house and ended up with 60pc. It was a fight though and cost me 10k, so might depend on what legal aid will cover. I used a credit card with interest free purchase on it and paid it off when the house was sold. I don't get any cm (he gave up his job), and I guessed this would happen so needed to make sure we had security. Long road ahead OP, it took me over a year . You are the main carer and it makes it hard to work so you must make sure you get enough. The judge told him he'd got a very good deal and should bite my hand off.

@lollypop29

Yes. He's very financially secure. Earns 200k a year and has an 800k property. I have nothing. I'm 10 years younger than him and I was between leaving/starting a new job when I fell pregnant so I never returned to work and didn't need to work as we were good financially.

This is where you gave a very good impression of someone who didn't work or need to work.

@lollypop29

Guys. Yes I do make £40 ish a month from my small business. I have a child to raise and don't have childcare for her at the moment. I'm quite obviously not going to sit on my arse and not bother to get a job! I will go back to my career when I can.

A quid a day is hardly a small business. I could find that under the sofa cushions.

You don't have the privilege of returning to work when it suits you, you need to get a proper job now, and sort out childcare like millions of working families across the country. You need to take on some of the responsibility for housing and feeding yourself and your dc without expecting your stbx to fund it all, simply because he was financially savvy before he met you.

@flatclearancehelp correct! But when I knew I wanted to leave the marriage I set up my own business. Something small to do while I get my shit together.

[quote lollypop29]@flatclearancehelp correct. As a family we were financially fine and he didn't want me to go back to work and I wanted to stay home to raise our child. So that's what we did. [/quote]
But now you not your family are not financially fine, and whether or not you want to, you need to get back to work.

@lollypop29

Why are you all presuming I don't work?!

I have nothing. I'm 10 years younger than him and I was between leaving/starting a new job when I fell pregnant so I never returned to work and didn't need to work as we were good financially

What names? This username?

Yes, the cladding issue means your husband can’t sell the property to release funds to you. Your solicitor has acknowledged this to be true, and it’s unlikely to be sorted until 2024. He’s unable to give a you a proportion of the equity, because he can’t access it. It’s looking like your inheritance will come through far, far quicker than that issue will be sorted. Until that can be sorted your ex’s contribution to housing your daughter will have to come from his child maintenance payments. You did also mention that your ex was willing to be a guarantor on a mortgage for you. While I agree that that’s an awful idea, it does suggest he’s not trying to avoid helping to house your daughter.

Your husband sounds truly awful, and I’m sure your life is going to be infinitely better without him. But you need to be realistic about what can actually be achieved. Financial settlements take a long time, and your ex can’t give you what he physically doesn’t have access too.

Didn't you post a thread about putting your child in nursery a couple of weeks ago?

I think you are getting a hard time op.
Many on here are true though it could be a battle to get a significant amount from him:
Also unless you do divorce quickly your 300k will end up in the divorce pot -it may be a year off but I'm almost 3 years trying to divorce my ex and still no financial settlement!
Start proceedings asap, fight your corner but unfortunately the system does not work in women's/mother's favour!
I am a lone parent to 2 children and struggle hugely, I work several jobs - it's not fun but I am free from years of abuse. Goodluck you have done the right thing for you and your child x

I’m not sure why you’ve changed your mind on marriage. If you weren’t married you’d be walking away with nothing at all. And as he’s self employed I wouldn’t bank on reliable child support.

You’re very lucky you can stay at your mum’s and have money to fall back on, though it’s obviously very sad you’ve lost your father.

On another thread OP is claiming to be receiving £1500 cm plus claiming UC, has £30k deposit already as well as the £300k inheritance.

Firstly uc will absolutely expect you to be very actively looking for work, if you are able to claim at all due to having £30k in the bank.

As pp have said, you are actually already in a much better position than many women who leave very long marriages with zero. I mean, actually nothing. Not £30k in the bank, not £300k round the corner, not a mindset that thinks it's ok to earn a quid a day on a new little business whilst I fleece tens or hundreds of thousands of pounds off a bloke I've known only 3 years (who is actually a right bastard but behaviour is not considered on the whole during financial proceedings).

Rent for now, get yourself back in the workplace, get the divorce underway. Take some responsibility for your own financial situation

The last line of the last post.
Take some responsibility. You are also financially responsible for your child, not just your his.

Some of the replies on this are horrific when the OP has stated very clearly she is leaving an abusive man.

The OP has made it clear she doesn't want heaps off her ex, just a fair contribution towards housing their child. I.e. him taking responsibility for their child too.
Yet she's had a pile on of replies, basically telling her she's a gold digger wanting a wealthy father to contribute anything and needs to provide for her child by herself because that's what's right. Some of the replies are honest and fair. Others are just plain nasty.

And then people wonder why women don't leave abusive marriages or return to them. I hope absolutely no woman in an abusive relationship who is wondering whether she can escape who finds and reads this post. And I hope the OP is doing better emotionally and mentally than most are when escaping an abusive marriage.

OP, talk to your solicitor. You may be able to get a small (yes small) amount, just enough to help you house your child. And you should get CMS payments/equivalent. Hopefully, with your inheritance than will be enough for you to start afresh with your daughter and your new business. Good luck.

@bhooks

Some of the replies on this are horrific when the OP has stated very clearly she is leaving an abusive man.

The OP has made it clear she doesn't want heaps off her ex, just a fair contribution towards housing their child. I.e. him taking responsibility for their child too.
Yet she's had a pile on of replies, basically telling her she's a gold digger wanting a wealthy father to contribute anything and needs to provide for her child by herself because that's what's right. Some of the replies are honest and fair. Others are just plain nasty.

And then people wonder why women don't leave abusive marriages or return to them. I hope absolutely no woman in an abusive relationship who is wondering whether she can escape who finds and reads this post. And I hope the OP is doing better emotionally and mentally than most are when escaping an abusive marriage.

OP, talk to your solicitor. You may be able to get a small (yes small) amount, just enough to help you house your child. And you should get CMS payments/equivalent. Hopefully, with your inheritance than will be enough for you to start afresh with your daughter and your new business. Good luck.

My thoughts exactly! And the reason I've gone back to the abuse many times.

Thankyou

So what is it you want in terms of split ?

The OP has made it clear she doesn't want heaps off her ex, just a fair contribution towards housing their child. I.e. him taking responsibility for their child too.

OP wants Ex to keep her in the manner she believes she is entitled to, she believes that after a short marriage she is entitled to half his property, not a fair share, she believes she should keep all of her deposit (which is somewhere around £30k) and the inheritance (either £230k or £300k) and from what I can work out has either moved 2 hours away to be with family, or cannot afford to buy a property near Ex....

that could be why OP is not getting the support she thinks she should be getting....

@HouseOfFire

The OP has made it clear she doesn't want heaps off her ex, just a fair contribution towards housing their child. I.e. him taking responsibility for their child too.

OP wants Ex to keep her in the manner she believes she is entitled to, she believes that after a short marriage she is entitled to half his property, not a fair share, she believes she should keep all of her deposit (which is somewhere around £30k) and the inheritance (either £230k or £300k) and from what I can work out has either moved 2 hours away to be with family, or cannot afford to buy a property near Ex....

that could be why OP is not getting the support she thinks she should be getting....

Jesus Christ WHERE did I say I wanted HALF of what he has?? I said I want enough to add to the money I have so I can house our child.

I don't know how much inheritance I will have yet as I haven't even started the documents yet!!! My dad only passed away a few weeks ago. Why are you all so caught up on trying to catch people out. 230-300k I have NO idea how much I will have. I have only just lost my dad. I quite obviously don't have access to the finances yet!!!

How dare you even suggest I want half of what he has to live a lavish lifestyle. I am perfectly capable of finding for myself and our child. I said I'd like a fair share towards the property which is NOT unreasonable. My '30k' you all think I have in the bank was the estimated figure I would receive from my ex as a deposit. NOT what I have in the bank. Hence why I'm on UC!!!!

Courts take a dim view of women/mothers who won't/don't work.

Courts apply the law. They aren’t there to take a view, dim or otherwise.

@millymolls

So what is it you want in terms of split ?

My plan was to do a shared ownership - I've been looking into it and speaking to the relevant people and can use child maintenance towards mortgage. So the plan was to use the money from my ex to put towards the deposit (30k or whatever that would be) and then I'll use my inheritance to pay for the property outright when I can.

I would get a better solicitor if I were you, you also need a fierce barrister. Legal aid isn't going to get you that. You'll get bottom of the barrel.