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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Divorce settlement?

144 replies

lollypop29 · 25/10/2021 11:17

Hi everyone

Am I entitled to a divorce settlement from my husband if he has owned his property for 10 years before we got married?

We have only been married for 2.5 years but I have left due to abuse. We have a 1 year old together who will be living with me.

Thanks

OP posts:
Original poster
lollypop29 · 25/10/2021 14:32

@millymolls

What do you think you should be entitled to after just 1 year married ?
We've been married 2 and a half years and have a child together.
OP posts:
tiggerwhocamefortea · 25/10/2021 14:57

You won't be entitled to the house he owns - you've been married all of 5 minutes

Even if you did get an order to stay in the house You would need to demonstrate that you can afford the mortgage/payments on it. Courts take a dim view of women/mothers who won't/don't work.

You're unlikely to get much at all and should prepare for that. You'll be entitled to child maintenance of course and not much more I'm afraid depending on how good yours or his lawyer is

Original poster
lollypop29 · 25/10/2021 15:12

@tiggerwhocamefortea

You won't be entitled to the house he owns - you've been married all of 5 minutes

Even if you did get an order to stay in the house You would need to demonstrate that you can afford the mortgage/payments on it. Courts take a dim view of women/mothers who won't/don't work.

You're unlikely to get much at all and should prepare for that. You'll be entitled to child maintenance of course and not much more I'm afraid depending on how good yours or his lawyer is

I have my own business. When did I say I don't work exactly? I have my own business which allows me to work around my child.

Yes I have been married 'all of 5 minutes' unless of course I'm supposed to stay in an abusive relationship?

OP posts:
Shamalamadingd0ng · 25/10/2021 15:12

Sorry, I agree with others.
I can give you secondhand experience of this.. Family member was married for two years, marriage broke down due to horrific violence.. She moved into his property and was not placed on either the deeds or mortgage.
Her settlement was merely cms and a small payout from the equity accrued in the post marriage, which was pennies.
I would honestly get back into work and rent, don't hedge your bets on him providing you a rent free life style.. He should definitely be paying you cms though.

Original poster
lollypop29 · 25/10/2021 15:13

Why are you all presuming I don't work?!

OP posts:
Shamalamadingd0ng · 25/10/2021 15:14

And I mean full time, well paid employment, appreciate you're self employed and manage your business around your child, but presumably this doesn't accustom you to the life you had before and cannot afford you to rent a house?

Original poster
lollypop29 · 25/10/2021 15:19

I do have around 300k which is mine that he can not claim, but where I live it isn't enough time buy a house or flat...I can't rent as I have a dog, have been trying this approach for a while and keep getting turned down for renting.

I find it so so frustrating that I didn't marry to divorce 2 years later. I obviously wanted to be with my husband forever, but he's abusive and so I've left. He's ruined our marriage and I'll be the one struggling.

The courts will want our lives back to the way they were before..,well mine never will be. I now have a child and won't be able to have my career where I have moved to and I now live in a rural area.

OP posts:
Shamalamadingd0ng · 25/10/2021 15:19

Sorry if this sounds harsh, but I work 40 hours a week in the NHS, I'm a single parent to my 3 year old, her useless father is not in her life and pays the minimal amount of cms, exactly £7 per week.
It's my responsibility to house my child, I sacrifice my time with her to work full time to be able to afford her a house to live in myself, without relying on anyone to fund that. It would be a different kettle of fish if you jointly owned the property, however abuser or not.. He owned it for 10 years prior to you just moving in, I presume your name is not on the deeds or mortgage??

Shamalamadingd0ng · 25/10/2021 15:21

I think your misinformed about the court, not saying this is you.. But do you think if you had a champagne lifestyle before that you'd be afforded that again??
Not sure where you get your information from.
You'll be afforded what is a bearable existence.
That's it.

Owwasme · 25/10/2021 15:24

@Shamalamadingd0ng

Sorry if this sounds harsh, but I work 40 hours a week in the NHS, I'm a single parent to my 3 year old, her useless father is not in her life and pays the minimal amount of cms, exactly £7 per week. It's my responsibility to house my child, I sacrifice my time with her to work full time to be able to afford her a house to live in myself, without relying on anyone to fund that. It would be a different kettle of fish if you jointly owned the property, however abuser or not.. He owned it for 10 years prior to you just moving in, I presume your name is not on the deeds or mortgage??
It's not a race to the bottom, just because the father of your children gets away with paying pittance.

If you're married, it doesn't matter whose name is on the deeds. It's the marital home, and given that they have a child together, the house/equity could be taken into consideration when diving assets regardless of how long they've been married.

Original poster
lollypop29 · 25/10/2021 15:25

@Owwasme this is what my solicitor has said

OP posts:
Shamalamadingd0ng · 25/10/2021 15:27

I can almost guarantee you that it won't.. But will be fully prepared to stand corrected when OP emerges from the court in a few years time.

Original poster
lollypop29 · 25/10/2021 15:32

@Shamalamadingd0ng

I can almost guarantee you that it won't.. But will be fully prepared to stand corrected when OP emerges from the court in a few years time.
Afew years? Is that how long it takes?
OP posts:
HouseOfFire · 25/10/2021 15:36

Solicitor also said court won't see it as a clean break as we've got a child together they'll look at how to house the child and how to make it so both parties live the same standard of lifestyle as before.

The courts will want our lives back to the way they were before..,well mine never will be. I now have a child and won't be able to have my career where I have moved to and I now live in a rural area.

Really? I think even just reading the boards here, thats unlikely. I really think this is unrealistic

You have funds, 300k, you can buy somewhere, you may have to rent for a while if you cannot live with STBX, you should be able to find somewhere you can take your dog

Daisy95 · 25/10/2021 15:36

@lollypop29

Why are you all presuming I don't work?!
Because you literally said you didn't work in one of your posts, rhats why people are saying you don't work. I think you'll only be entitled to child maintenance. If you're got 300k that he can't touch why would you be able to touch his property? I'd just be prepared for nothing tbh
Alwayscheerful · 25/10/2021 15:40

You mention your father has recently died , will there be an inheritance ?
I would look calculate
House equity

  • Your £300k
  • Your inheritance And divide by 2 Assume a starting point of 50 50 Why should you have half of your DH assets and he not have half of yours? Of course it could be seen as a short marriage but calculate both scenarios.
HouseOfFire · 25/10/2021 15:40

@lollypop29

Why are you all presuming I don't work?!
you said you have a small business, how much do you earn a month/week?
Original poster
lollypop29 · 25/10/2021 15:42

@Alwayscheerful

You mention your father has recently died , will there be an inheritance ? I would look calculate House equity + Your £300k + Your inheritance And divide by 2 Assume a starting point of 50 50 Why should you have half of your DH assets and he not have half of yours? Of course it could be seen as a short marriage but calculate both scenarios.
My 300k is my inheritance
OP posts:
Shamalamadingd0ng · 25/10/2021 15:45

300k inheritance makes things very different.
The way you posted in your original first post makes you sound like a penniless person who has nothing and is about to become homeless.

Original poster
lollypop29 · 25/10/2021 15:48

@Shamalamadingd0ng

300k inheritance makes things very different. The way you posted in your original first post makes you sound like a penniless person who has nothing and is about to become homeless.
That is me RIGHT now, it won't be me in a years time... so yes I currently am in that position
OP posts:
HouseOfFire · 25/10/2021 15:56

have you left already?

Original poster
lollypop29 · 25/10/2021 16:00

@HouseOfFire

have you left already?
Yeah I had to leave. He started pushing me around physically and I didn't want my daughter to be around that so we've left
OP posts:
Shamalamadingd0ng · 25/10/2021 16:09

So where are you residing now?

gogohm · 25/10/2021 16:11

They will look at the assets you had at the time you started living together and how much they are worth now - if there's significant increase then a settlement is likely due if those assets are mostly in his name. Child maintenance is completely separate and ongoing. If the court believes that you are unable to house your child without a lump sum that could be ordered but with savings of £300k that simply isn't the case

Original poster
lollypop29 · 25/10/2021 16:19

@gogohm

They will look at the assets you had at the time you started living together and how much they are worth now - if there's significant increase then a settlement is likely due if those assets are mostly in his name. Child maintenance is completely separate and ongoing. If the court believes that you are unable to house your child without a lump sum that could be ordered but with savings of £300k that simply isn't the case
They aren't savings, it's my inheritance money and I won't be receiving it for at least a year. I'm currently staying with my mum
OP posts: