Spousal Maintenance vs Universal Credit

[sallysm]

I'm confused about how courts balance an order for spousal maintenance (SM) against universal credit, given that receiving SM results in a £ for £ reduction in universal credit (UC).

For example, let's say someone without a job and 1 preschooler, says their reasonable needs are £1200 a month, and their husband is on 40k.

So the Ex has to pay about £400 child maintenance
That leaves a shortfall of £800

Does the court order the Ex to pay £800 SM? (leaving him to live on £1100) Or do they tell the person to claim the £800 (as possible) from UC instead?

Gosh it gets worse! I think my ex husband is a dick, that’s why I left him BUT he is a good dad to our son and whatever my personal feelings are about him and his behaviour that is a separate issue to our child. We started at 50/50 but have settled around me having our son 4-5 nights per week and him 2-3. You can’t deny a child a relationship and time with their other parent because you don’t want too especially when you have declared he has done nothing wrong with regards to your child. No court in the land would grant you full custody just because you want it.

I don’t think the court only cares about what you’d prefer.

They look to what is best for the child(ren) and your preference to let your child’s father have zero overnights is unlikely to carry any weight (in the absence of abuse).

When it comes to thinking about the best interests of your child and fair awardance of support from their father to said child, what you prefer is absolutely irrelevant.

What if the child's father would prefer that he had 7 days a week custody and refused to discuss that? You are no more entitled to this than they are. Personally my advice is to not throw money after solicitors but to get some therapy yourself as you really need to step back and think about the impact and context of what you are saying as when you utter things like this you appear to present yourself as struggling to understand anyone's needs other than your own and that is a red flag as a parent. This whole situation may move forward much more easily if you do some work on yourself rather than just look at getting as much as you can and paying solicitors to try and achieve that.

Do you honestly think he’s going to go to court for you to receive spousal maintenance and not fight you tooth and nail for custody rights?
He’s entitled to access to his child and it would be granted unless extreme circumstances.

I'd personally prefer to leave it at 7 nights custody a week, and leave it at that. It's not something I'm open much to discussing, though he's done nothing wrong in that department.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

So you want him to fund your lifestyle, survive on the bare minimum so he can pay you spousal maintenance so you don't have to work AND you won't let him have a decent relationship with his child?

There are so many things I'd like to say to you right now but doing so would probably get me banned.

Suffice to say I think your attitude and approach is reprehensible and I feel sorry for both your child and your ex in this situation.

Is this a reverse?

You won't get spousal maintenance on his salary op. It will be a daily struggle, just like the rest of us.

The problem you have is if you go for spousal maintenance you could end up worse off.
Your ex could decide to not work and then you would have to go to work and then as he isn’t the one working he could go for custody and you end up paying him.
The more you stamp your foot and say this is what I want the more you are leaving yourself open to coming out worse off.

What’s what your son wants ? Because you’re stealing precious time from his father for your own benefit.

@sallysm

I'd personally prefer to leave it at 7 nights custody a week, and leave it at that. It's not something I'm open much to discussing, though he's done nothing wrong in that department.

For those of you recent posters who are getting SM, are you not finding it conflicts with UC, resulting in no overall gain?

And if it's likely to chew up alot of money in solicitors with a chance to get SM, if my Ex new that, could he potentially just sit back and personally say 'no, its unreasonable' to any my request for SM, whilst I'm the one pouring money into my argument, and he doesn't? Ie, could he just sit their with his arms crossed while I dig myself into a hole? If his basic argument that he puts in, is that I could afford my reasonable needs through UC, CM and a job, as you've all mostly suggested - does he also need to spend loads on solicitors to prove that argument to a judge?

You really are a selfish piece of work. It's all about you, not your child, at all in your head. Nothing you have said has been about your child. I'm actually rooting for your ex and I hope you end up with no SM and he gets custody access.

This has got to be a reverse or a wind up. Seriously!

So spousal maintenance that you won’t get.
100% custody arrangements you won’t get.

Time to grow up OP, get a job, agree sensible custody arrangements and you might be approaching reasonable.

this can’t be real!

you get a job to cover the short fall for christ sake.

it really winds me up when women won’t pay for the kids they have.

i had three jobs when i left my husband, three!!

Me too MaLarkinn, one of which was cleaning and whatever babysitting i could get when my kids were at their dads. Mind you, he still accused me of being lazy even then.

I wasn't sure before but I think there's a bit too much faux naivety going on here and the 'custody' thing being thrown into the mix has taken it beyond plausibility.

I have the impression that the person is quite young and naive and has friends who are egging her on to what they think she can claim. That just because he married her and they had a child then he was going to be made to support her for life.

Anyone who thinks £40,000 is a lot of money and can cover 2 lots of household bills and living expenses is not exactly financially aware

If you get SM, it'll affect your UC
You'll spend ££££ getting it in court with no guarantees
Why not let your stbxh look after your child at an amount of nights that works for your son, whatever that is
Get UC and work and move on to a good life

Strangely familiar new thread

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/divorce_separation/4148575-Divorce-spousal-maintence

I know someone who was awarded spousal support. But her husband earned around 8.5 million a year. She also owned half the companies and gave up working with all of them for their child. But still had her name on them. The assets were split more in his favour. Because it came down to how much work she’d put in as such (it’s incredibly complicated). I think it was a 55/45 split.

I never knew how much spousal support it was. But she won in the end. Because she sold her shares. Which he wanted. So paid way more than she’d ever of got in a court. Which I think was something the judge did very cleverly.

Oh

It’s cost about 150k (I believe. Though it wasn’t me. So no real idea) to thrash it out In court. Both dragged it out way too long

Honestly, I think you are going to be bitterly disappointed!!

My ex husband was on 4 times that and I get SM. We had a property, which I wanted him to keep for our boys a d so therefore my contributions and lump some came partially in a lump sum plus 11 years of SM. His was a joint asset. Did you contribute to the deposit?

You say his his pension goes to your pension.... Well that's a marital asset so you'll be expected to half that too!

We left both of our pensions alone as ours were pretty equal.

I worked the whole time of our marriage, albeit part time around our 2 boys.

Assets such as cars etc will be split.

My ex-husband had at least 4 times that salary.

I chose to leave the family home as I wanted a fresh start.

I strongly recommend you get a solicitor.

You'll be expected to get a job, just like the rest of us. If he goes on to have other children you'll also get less maintenance.

You need to meet your own "needs". He isn't financially responsible for you now. Only his child.

Get a job ffs

Did you settle this OP 🌺

You will meet your needs by getting a job. That's what most people have to do if benefits don't meet their needs. You are not going to get spousal maintenance awarded unless your ex is a very high earner.,