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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Spousal Maintenance vs Universal Credit

326 replies

sallysm · 16/01/2021 23:10

I'm confused about how courts balance an order for spousal maintenance (SM) against universal credit, given that receiving SM results in a £ for £ reduction in universal credit (UC).

For example, let's say someone without a job and 1 preschooler, says their reasonable needs are £1200 a month, and their husband is on 40k.

So the Ex has to pay about £400 child maintenance
That leaves a shortfall of £800

Does the court order the Ex to pay £800 SM? (leaving him to live on £1100) Or do they tell the person to claim the £800 (as possible) from UC instead?

OP posts:
Daisychain05 · 23/01/2021 14:10

What are you doing for money now op?

Is your ex still living with you?

AnxiousSM · 23/01/2021 14:51

I don’t have to substantiate my argument by giving you details!

As I’ve said I have experience of a court ordering SM to a low earner, it doesn’t have to be a salary of Over £100k, I’d be interested to know where this opinion comes from.

The ex wife is the grabbiest, laziest, most unpleasant person I’ve ever met. She has no shame. She takes it so she doesn’t have to work when she’s perfectly capable.

Sounds just like you OP.

VinterKvinna · 23/01/2021 21:25

It won't help me screw my Ex

wow - i dont think i missed it, but why do you want to "screw" your ex, apart from not wanting to be with you anymore??

Dugee · 23/01/2021 22:47

The impression I am getting is that the ex is doing a f/t job that earns £40,000 per year so you say comes out with around £2300per month. You said that he only needs £1300 per month so he could pay you £1000 per month Spousal maintenance. Why would he want to slog himself into an early grave to pay an ex wife for the rest of his days and not take a part time job that paid £1300 per month. No money for you and he isn’t any worse off.

That would be my attitude if I was in that situation. I'd just drop from 5 days a week to 3 days a week and gain an extra 2 days a week leisure time (potentially having custody of the child on those 2 days too, which would also reduce CMS).

Carrick27 · 24/01/2021 00:15

@MrsWaititi

No chance of spousal maintenance on that salary.

It's incredibly rare unless the ex is a millionaire.

My ex definitely isn’t a millionaire, I wish! I’ve got SM and my children are both over 18. He earns a good wage and I looked after the kids for many years. He couldn’t afford to pay me a clean break settlement so there was no other choice but SM.
Noneedtobenasty · 24/01/2021 13:23

I get it and my ex was on less than 50k, so it is possible. It is part of an overall package to enable me to afford the mortgage so the kids could stay in their home. Ex gets his cut courtesy of a charge on the house when dc gets to 18. This was agreed between us and signed off by a judge, so it is doable.

I do work though as a court expects, quite rightly in my mind.

bluebluezoo · 24/01/2021 13:55

I get it and my ex was on less than 50k, so it is possible. It is part of an overall package to enable me to afford the mortgage so the kids could stay in their home. Ex gets his cut courtesy of a charge on the house when dc gets to 18. This was agreed between us and signed off by a judge, so it is doable

So not spousal maintenance, more of an advance on the house sale.

Noneedtobenasty · 24/01/2021 14:02

#bluebluezoo No, its called global maintenance. All part of the financial order, taking everything into consideration.

lalafafa · 24/01/2021 14:08

to expect him to live off £1300 is outrageous when he's working full time. I think you're clutching at straws OP

AnxiousSM · 24/01/2021 17:41

@Noneedtobenasty using kids as your excuse to live off your ex? You get CM so why do you expect him to pay extra for you? Do you have a partner?

Noneedtobenasty · 24/01/2021 18:40

@AnxiousSM I came on here to hopefully help the OP and also to point out that a lot of posters are under the misapprehension that SM is only awarded to ex wives of high earners, just as you did. I am not lowering myself to defend myself to you, I don't need to.

May I suggest you read my username, and if needs be keep repeating it a thousand times until it sinks in.

Terminallysleepdeprived · 24/01/2021 18:58

@@sallysm sorry hut you are deluded
The court can and will order you to financially support yourself. You are a grown woman for God sake and whether you want to work in a supermarket or not is irrelevant, even on UC you will be expected to look for work or face sanctions. If a supermarket job is available and you do not apply or you turn down a position offered UC will stop payments. Benefits are not there to support your life choice not to work. They are there to help people out of a financial hole.

40k or even 50k will not get you spousal maintenance.

You need to tighten your belt. £1400/month are you having a laugh? I'm a single parent, work full time and I don't earn that much. I pay my bills, have a mortgage and survive. You are being totally unrealistic.

AnxiousSM · 24/01/2021 21:25

@Noneedtobenasty - did I hit a nerve?

AnxiousSM · 24/01/2021 21:29

@Terminallysleepdeprived unfortunately she’s not deluded. I wish that were the case. There are examples here of the low lives who’ve managed to claim SM from low earning exes. It goes beyond normal comprehension that these women still exist and that courts allow it in 2021, but they do.

Noneedtobenasty · 24/01/2021 21:47

@AnxiousSM No,y you didn't hit a nerve at all. My message was perfectly rational, calm and hopefully helpful, which is in stark contrast to yours. You're obviously not in a very happy place right now so I will leave it there.

AnxiousSM · 24/01/2021 22:09

You’re not short of a high opinion of yourself are you? As this thread shows, the general opinion towards SM and it’s claimants is much lower.

I’m not sure where you’re assuming I’m much less rational, calm and ‘helpful’ than you, but there you go.

I didn’t ask you for an assessment of how happy or unhappy I am, and I’d prefer you left your amateur psychology for yourself.

Alfiemoon1 · 24/01/2021 22:35

How are both you and your ex going to pay the legal fees if you battle it out in court do you both have substantial savings or will it have to come out of the sale of the house. Have you discussed childcare is he going for 50/50 which is favoured by the court

Original poster
sallysm · 24/01/2021 23:28

I'd personally prefer to leave it at 7 nights custody a week, and leave it at that. It's not something I'm open much to discussing, though he's done nothing wrong in that department.

For those of you recent posters who are getting SM, are you not finding it conflicts with UC, resulting in no overall gain?

And if it's likely to chew up alot of money in solicitors with a chance to get SM, if my Ex new that, could he potentially just sit back and personally say 'no, its unreasonable' to any my request for SM, whilst I'm the one pouring money into my argument, and he doesn't? Ie, could he just sit their with his arms crossed while I dig myself into a hole? If his basic argument that he puts in, is that I could afford my reasonable needs through UC, CM and a job, as you've all mostly suggested - does he also need to spend loads on solicitors to prove that argument to a judge?

OP posts:
bluebluezoo · 24/01/2021 23:30

I'd personally prefer to leave it at 7 nights custody a week, and leave it at that. It's not something I'm open much to discussing, though he's done nothing wrong in that department

So when will the child see their father? And it’s not what you prefer, it’s whats best for the child. A court will likely grant him overnights if he wishes, so the child can form a relationship with their parent. They usually start with 50:50, if it can be managed.

It isn’t about you.

gutful · 25/01/2021 06:14

I wonder what the ex husband will prefer....

Idontgiveagriffindamn · 25/01/2021 06:26

@sallysm

I'd personally prefer to leave it at 7 nights custody a week, and leave it at that. It's not something I'm open much to discussing, though he's done nothing wrong in that department.

For those of you recent posters who are getting SM, are you not finding it conflicts with UC, resulting in no overall gain?

And if it's likely to chew up alot of money in solicitors with a chance to get SM, if my Ex new that, could he potentially just sit back and personally say 'no, its unreasonable' to any my request for SM, whilst I'm the one pouring money into my argument, and he doesn't? Ie, could he just sit their with his arms crossed while I dig myself into a hole? If his basic argument that he puts in, is that I could afford my reasonable needs through UC, CM and a job, as you've all mostly suggested - does he also need to spend loads on solicitors to prove that argument to a judge?

This is actually even worse than the seeking to heels him dry with SM. You say ‘he’s done nothing wrong in that department’ and then are looking to stop overnight visitation with his child. That is so unbelievably selfish and is unfair on your ex and most importantly your child. They have 2 parents with the same rights. I think you’re in for a massive shock when you do get divorced. At least I hope you are. Disgusting attitude
PeachTree22 · 25/01/2021 07:16

Christ you actually sound like someone I know.
I'm just going to come out and say it...
You're a selfish inhumane entitled piece of work.

The man I know going through exactly what you want to put your ex through is a broken man.
And the person getting hurt the most is the poor child!!!!!

It's not about you. Get that into your head. It's not about what you want. It's about what's best for the child and unless you want to royally mess your kid up, start thinking differently!!!!

If the child's dad is a perfectly good father, then he has every right to have the same amount of rights and time with that child.

It's all about what benefits the child most. And what benefits the child is having 2 good happy parents.

If this is how you want to behave and the thoughts you have on co-parenting then you should have gone down the route of a sperm donor and done it all by yourself.

By the sounds of it though, you would never have been arsed to work to pay for the service. So instead, you got pregnant by some poor bloke that you've 'screwed' over.

Grow up!!! Think of your child and how that child deserves to see their father. You are not the only one in this and it's not all about you and what you want.

PeachTree22 · 25/01/2021 07:17

God you make me sick

Bythemillpond · 25/01/2021 08:57

Get your mind round the fact of what you want snd what you will end up with are 2 different things.
Been through enough divorces with friends and family.
There won’t be any child maintenance because you will be ordered to co parent with your ex so your child will be spending 50% of the week with him.
The house will be sold and you will receive 50% of the equity after any fees are deducted.
Any furniture needs to be divided between the two of you equally any cars need to be shared out.
It is then up to you to claim UC or get a job, put a roof over your heads and look after yourself and your child.

You have to look at this from your ex’s side as well as your own and do what is fair to both of you.
The courts aren’t interested in what you or your ex want. They are looking at dividing everything 50/50 and what is fair to both of you

Howshouldibehave · 25/01/2021 09:04

I'd personally prefer to leave it at 7 nights custody a week, and leave it at that. It's not something I'm open much to discussing, though he's done nothing wrong in that department.

In that case, this is dreadful.

I wonder if he will decide to give up his job and go for full time custody.