Ex wanting more child maintenance?

[Positivity11]

Not sure if this is in the right category, apologies if not!

My partner divorced his, now, ex wife a few years ago and since then has paid around £500 a month in child support for the 2 kids. This was agreed outside of court as the breakup of the relationship was amicable and my partner has numerous other outgoings that aren't taken into account when going through CSA (it would be about £750 through them). However on top of this he helps pay for clothes, school trips, holidays, sports clubs among a lot of other things. Due to a big argument between them recently she is now requesting to go through CSA and claim the full amount. I presume she is within her rights to do this even though they previously agreed £500 a month?

It would put a slight strain on our finances and he has said he probably wouldn't be able to afford to help with the other bits he currently pays for. Just wanted to get people's thoughts really, it may look like we are the bad guys but we can only afford what we can afford and we do want to make sure the kids never go without

TIA x

Pay the full amount but not for the extras like clothes and holidays. The maintenance is designed to cover all child costs.

Agree with PP, no extras unless it's a big expense like a school trip

He's been paying £250 less than he should be so the extras will now be covered by maintenance. Although, big things like school trips might still need contributed too as it would be the child who loses out.

Think the mums been pretty fair up until now and can go through CSA. If possible, might be worth having a chat with her and increasing payments to what you can afford amicably.

I would give 750 and nothing else not even for school trips that's more than enough to cover your part

I agree pay the full amount. Your husband can afford it as it's worked out on income. He'll have to dial back his spends elsewhere. If he still lived with the kids he'd spend more than that no doubt.

Tell your DP to lodge a case with the CMS and pay the monthly amount they calculate.

He then should stop paying the extras except for clothes and other things they need when they are staying over at yours.

That way there are no more arguements between himself and his ex about how much maintenance he should pay.

The maintenance is supposed to cover all the costs. CMS is really an absolute minimum.
I suggest they follow that and stick to it. Kids get more expensive as they get older.

He needs to pay the CMS amount which really is the bare minimum. If he is being calculated at £750 per month he must have a reasonable salary.

Quickly chucked some figures through the CMS calculator. 2 kids, stay with him 2 nights a week. 1 other child (just plucked that out of thin air).

To get to a figure of £750 a month he must be on around £80k + per year.

People making judgments on his spending - for and affordability - for all we know he may have taken on the debts of the marriage, he might have given his ex eVerything , himself walking away with nothing. We don’t know.

Regardless op pay the cms amount and nothing else then it’s all official

Itd take a really shit parent to refuse to pay for school uniforms or trips.

How the hell do these people face their kids?

There aren’t going to be school trips for at least the next year, and sports clubs and holidays will be minimal.
He should be paying the CMS rate which is the minimum. If he wants a strong relationship with his kids ongoing then he will accept the need to sacrifice other things in his life to be able to afford to prioritise all their needs, and some extras, like all decent parents do.

@pheasantplucker1 why should the nrp pay more if already giving 750 a month? Pure greed I would say

get to a figure of £750 a month he must be on around £80k + per year

This. While I believe nrp can struggle paying maintenance and their own living costs, which is shit, if his CSA minimum is £750/month for two kids that is a big wage he’s on.

Even if he’s walked out with nothing, a salary if over £4k take home per month(assuming 80k) then he should be able to pay his own costs and £750 with plenty left over.

If he has “numerous other outgoings” he needs to look at his budget and spend appropriately. Beyond food, housing costs and csa everything else is optional.

That’s an underpayment of 3k per year. Do all the extras come to that amount?

Definitely just use the CMS calculator and just pay that.

He needs to pay csa. This is the bare mimimum And I think he should continue to pay the extras. He has been short changing his kids for years because of his other priorities. You don’t say what these are. Why not? Are they not things that most people would consider more important than their kids?

CMS for two children is 20% of the wage, assuming the NRP doesnt have them overnight frequently.

It is intended to be the very least a parent should provide for their children. Expecting a parent to do more than the legal minimum requirement is hardly greed.

@TheBusDriver

I would give 750 and nothing else not even for school trips that's more than enough to cover your part

I agree with this. Well depending on his actually salary.

It would surely be more straightforward for everyone if he pays the set £750 per month.

Both he and his ex will be able to budget more easily if they know how much money is coming in/going out. The extra £3k can be used to pay for the clothes & holidays, and the ex doesn't have to ask each time there's an added expense to pay out for.

Unless your DP gives his ex £250 a month in extras, he’s been underpaying. He should pay the amount the CMS calculate.

£500 and £750 a month both sound like decent amounts your partner can clearly afford it and must have a decent job. I personally don’t know anybody who gets that in CMS payments.

Your partner should pay absolutely it’s his duty this often happens yet you and your parent can potentially go on to have a child

Yes he should pay £750 and for all costs when they are with him.

Yes, she's within her rights to go through the CMS now and override the informally agreed amount. It does sound like he's a high earner so of course he should support his kids.