Ex wanting more child maintenance?

[Positivity11]

Not sure if this is in the right category, apologies if not!

My partner divorced his, now, ex wife a few years ago and since then has paid around £500 a month in child support for the 2 kids. This was agreed outside of court as the breakup of the relationship was amicable and my partner has numerous other outgoings that aren't taken into account when going through CSA (it would be about £750 through them). However on top of this he helps pay for clothes, school trips, holidays, sports clubs among a lot of other things. Due to a big argument between them recently she is now requesting to go through CSA and claim the full amount. I presume she is within her rights to do this even though they previously agreed £500 a month?

It would put a slight strain on our finances and he has said he probably wouldn't be able to afford to help with the other bits he currently pays for. Just wanted to get people's thoughts really, it may look like we are the bad guys but we can only afford what we can afford and we do want to make sure the kids never go without

TIA x

TheBusDriver £500 a month wouldnt even cover breakfast and after school clubs for two kids.

My ex pays more than that for two and suggested he just paid for what they needed.

I agreed with a huge smile. We started adding up the bills. We did childcare, school meals, and extra curricular activities, got to about £1600 a month (so before uniforms, clothes, trips ect) and he suddenly decided to generously give me the CMS rate instead.

As for the women ranting her ex pays 7k a month... that works out as a salary of over 400k a year. Poor diddums, having to write letters to his kids explaining why he cant buy clothes.

Maybe, just maybe, and I appreciate this may be a novel idea, but has he considered he could be an equal parent and not pay maintenance?

Shared care should be the way 50/50 then money doesn't become an issue.

Why should the NRP pay towards childcare if already paying maintenance. That covers the bills surely does it not?

Where do people live that £500 a month covers bills?

But yes I agree, all the NRPs whinging about maintenance should stop paying out and be an equal parent instead.

The TheBusDriver , my daughter receives £120 a month maintenance. Her child care costs are over £1000 a month. Maintenance doesn’t even touch the sides. As for 50/50, he would run a mile from that suggestion. I think DD’s situation reflects a lot of other lone parents.

Nobody can come up with a sensible figure for child maintenance what should it be?

Good question. My daughter has gone without food and bought clothes from charity shops in order to pay bills. The ex has recently bought a new BMW and returned from a long haul holiday. Doesn’t feel equitable to me.

Good question. My daughter has gone without food and bought clothes from charity shops in order to pay bills. The ex has recently bought a new BMW and returned from a long haul holiday. Doesn’t feel equitable to me.

What’s his job vs hers? Does he earn more than her?

If he pays her child maintenance what he does with the rest of his money is his business.

A bit like when men say their exes are going on holiday/buying cars/getting their nails done with CM money.

If a couple is split it’s very unlikely things will be equitable, unless they earn the same. Your daughter going without still doesn’t address the question of what a sensible figure for CM should be- and the closest anyone gets for that is “depends”.

Well according to the figure he gives HMRC, he earns enough to contribute £120 a month. That figure does not reflect his lifestyle which runs to long haul holidays, regular car upgrades and a London zone two flat. After maintenance, what he does with his own money is indeed his own business but no decent parent would hide income at the expense of his child.

TheBusDriver it does depend.

We cant expect men to pay more than they earn, equally children should not be going hungry while their "parent" lives in 5* luxury.

The government have set a percentage as the very, very least a parent should pay. The very least. However, there are still people complaining or suggesting paying a penny over is greed.

People seem to forget maintenance is not about the ex. Its for the child.