What don’t/won’t you miss?

[Misswontmissdontmiss]

Tomorrow my new life as a separated woman starts. Never in a million years did I think I’d be separating. One awful lapse of ethics/judgement on the part of STBXH finds me here.

It’s been a tough decision to move on and there’s plenty that I’ll miss. Ultimately I would not have been able to forgive him.

Therefore, I thought i’d start a thread to give some positivity to myself and other ladies in this position....

So let’s talk about what we won’t miss or, if already separated, what you don’t miss.

I won’t miss him putting things (hair, dead insects, bits of food) down the toilet and having the fright of my life when I go to use it.

I won’t miss feeling guilty about mid-week hobbies/drinks with friends (I always felt I was missing out on quality time with him).

I won’t miss his dreadful timekeeping.

I’ll add more if I think of more!

-The violence when he was drunk
-Never having enough money for everything because he'd drunk all of his wages
-The tv constantly on - NCIS usually
-Not being able to watch what I wanted
-His clutter
-A sweaty body in bed
-Sex - was all about him
-The lies
-The snoring
-Being made to feel boring because I gave up drinking
-Being made to be the obedient wife and do what HE wanted when he wanted
-Not being allowed to be myself

Never cooking a single meal for the entire 16 year marriage
Telling everyone if he could cook why would he need a wife?
Telling our son if he was gay he would kill him
Getting up first seven days a week to prepare his breakfast
Getting up early on weekends to ensure he had a traditional Turkish breakfast when he got out of bed at 11.00am
Never liking anything other than Turkish food apart from a roast dinner
Eating a full roast dinner and pudding then going out all night
Watching 3 football matches back to back
Hero worshipping his illiterate parents
His violent temper
His skidmarks in the toilet every morning
Him never making a tea or coffee

Snoring,
not wanting to go out,
Computer gaming
Obsessions
Cooking for his employees

(I think he's on the spectrum)

I wont miss having to learn his first language. I tried so hard, was awful at it and was accused of not making any effort with his culture

I don't miss the sport, flipping grand prix from march to november, triathlon's, tennis, rugby, football, no thanks.
He farts so much round the house that it stinks.
I won't miss doing his washing and ironing..
I won't miss having to clean the toilet after him as lazy git doesn't flush it half the time.
I won't miss the constant sniffing as he won't blow his nose, yet in the shower he blows his freaking nose at least 7 times as water get's up it, it sounds like a fog horn going off at 5am in the am.
I won't miss the arguments over money, or if i want to treat myself "is that new" comment.
I won't miss asking his permission to go out anywhere on my own or have the "what time are you going to be back".
I won't miss the food shopping bill being double what it is now, or having 3 different types of milk in the fridge.
I won't miss the snoring, the farting, the belching, the spitting is food out on the plate because he can't be bothered to blow on it.
I won't miss the silent treatment when he is in a mood.
I won't miss the empty cans of beer laying around on the table or where ever he feels like it as he can't be bothered to put them in the bin.
I won't miss him at all.
I only hope my little man doesn't turn out to be as annoying as his dad.

Football on tv all the time
40 minute toilet trips
Snobby comments about people walking when we're in the car
Hair in the sink/bath
Moaning about everything
Wasting money
Leaving beer bottles and cans on the side and not in the recycling
Depressive mood swings that he won't do anything about

I've found my people!! Just starting the separation process and been having a few wobbles today but this is an AMAZING post. Things I won't miss include:
His horrible temper and ability to know when I'm in a good mood and shout at me for something silly
The shouting when he can't find HIS belt, HIS tie, HIS shirt...
The drinking
The violence and nastiness when he is drinking
The stench of cigarettes
His noisy cereal eating
The calling me boring cos I don't like to get shitfaced
The asking me what's for dinner every day and me being expected to buy food and make full meals every night
The rows before we went out on any nice day out

Phew! That felt good

And a few more
Not putting rubbish in the bin..beside it and on top of it but never in it
Using the fireplace as a bin
Sliding dirty plates under the sofa
His greasy head marking our pillows
Football on the tv all the time
Tv on all the time
Farting and awful toilet behaviour

His sniffing. He has a nose the size of a small ship and sniffs seemed to echo.
His moods.
His loud aggressive shouting voice
Being a crap father
Him comparing our relationship to others
His self righteousness
His weird way of thanking me after sex
His mother

My ex’s drunkenness, and while drunk, his foul language & demeaning comments
Too loud Grand Prix coverage
Too loud Man Utd coverage
Gloominess
Moaning
Criticism
Dirty bathroom

Now, the sun shines, Life is so easy. The relief is huge.

Why do men think they have the right to be so nasty?

I don't miss

Snarky comments and wanting to argue when drunk
Telling me my wages are a joke and go no where
Not being a good father
Constantly cleaning and hoovering his precious car, doesn't know where house hoover is kept
Leaves his empty can's on coffee table for the maid to clear up
Pretending to enjoy sex
Leaving toe clippings on the rug
Constantly putting me down
He made us late for everything
Toilet habits
Hairs in the bathroom sink
Grand prix
Football on tv all weekend
Golf
Complaining about his meals he ate them just the same
Alway's sucking his mouthash
The list is bloody endless

I guess i don't miss his at all

Snoring
Being constantly pestered for sex
Sulking
Bad moods
Shouting
Criticism
Belittling

He’s just remarried, god help her!

Seems to be a pattern emerging with the following common dislikes:

Football on TV
Motorsport on TV
Farting
Toilet habits
Untidiness around the house.

As ex husband I was not guilty of any of the above. Might explain why I was the one to file for divorce?

My dislikes of Ex Wife were:

Attack daughter
Object to son being with grandparents
Spent money like it either; poured from a tap, grew on trees or magically appeared from a hole in the wall without the need to work.
Not trying to find work
Listening to how crap UK is compared to her native Country (which is one of the poorest in the World)

I don't miss the snoring,the nastiness,stinking feet,mess,coming home from work and finding food for tea all eaten by him,washing up not done.I don't think he ever learnt to use the hoover.
The silent treatment which he could keep up for days.
I love the peace,the house doesn't get untidy,I am relaxed .Me and DD can wander round in our dressing gowns all morning and nobody moans.

And it's warm,exoh used to leave the back door open so the dog could go out,we got shouted at if we closed it.The kitchen and sitting room had a door between which we also weren't allowed to close .We stayed upstairs in winter and helocjed the oil tank so that I couldn't order fuel so no central heating on.

I stayed, like most I suppose, because I wanted my child to have a good relationship with his dad.
I left when it was obvious that staying was harming dc. A bit like you.

Seems that wives are prepared to stick around for longer than husbands? My Ex Wife never happy about anything UK, but whenever it was suggested that she return to their home country there was no answer. So I had to bring things to an end myself.

• walking on eggshells wondering when he would snap about something totally unpredictable like pillowcases not totally matching (both white)
• the criticism of me that I was "boring"
• him shouting at the children so that they called him "mean daddy"
• him prioritising relationship with new best female "friend"
• his moodiness and reluctance to do anything fun together as a family

But in response to pp, he left me, because despite all this I really loved him and this behaviour came on suddenly in the marriage.

Get the impression from this thread that wives need to be in a marriage for fear of being laughed at if they are dumped or fear at being on the shelf. Seem to be prepared to swallow a lot before they call it a day? So what are they needing the most? The partner or the relationship for appearance purposes? Or are they SAHM who have no means of supporting themselves if their husbands divorced them?

I think its the idea that a partnership is to be worked on, with a sprinkling of love which still remains.
The thought that it used to be good, so possibly could be again.

His family (especially his mother)
His friends
His laziness
His moodiness
His procrastination
The snoring
His nervous cough
Fussy eating habits
Lack of sex
Constant prompting / thinking that he required or he never did everything. Genuinely not sure how he sold and moved out of our house. His Mum must have done it for him, l did 99% of our last move
The way he spoke to the cats (for the record they don't miss him and adore his replacement!)
His greed, yep that's why he's put so much weight on
TV on 24/7
That he never read. On paper he was clever so that confused me
Being tight with money (except with himself and his family)

He's now re-married so all of this is someone else's problem 😂

I need to know what other people's ex's random fetish's were. My ex had nothing interesting sexually going on!

My ex had quite a few really kinky fetishes.
Its one of the things I won't miss!
Its all such a palatava just to have a bit of the other.

I need to know what other people's ex's random fetish's were. My ex had nothing interesting sexually going on!

Hahahaha. Sounds like you had a complete bore of a partner. Many think that sex is solely for men. I disagree. Women need too and their partners need to learn how to please.

Get the impression from this thread that wives need to be in a marriage for fear of being laughed at if they are dumped or fear at being on the shelf. Seem to be prepared to swallow a lot before they call it a day?

What total bollocks! I’m reading this thread and getting the impression that women are far more prepared to try harder to make things work.

Won't miss the mad rush to tidy up before he gets home from work because he didn't like to single toy on the floor so HE could relax

Won't miss him sitting in the front room on his phone while I cook.

Won't miss him rolling his eyes when I'm telling him something he doesn't care about

Won't miss him trying to make me stop what I'm doing to see some amazing footie goal in tv that I couldn't care less about.