What don’t/won’t you miss?

[Misswontmissdontmiss]

Tomorrow my new life as a separated woman starts. Never in a million years did I think I’d be separating. One awful lapse of ethics/judgement on the part of STBXH finds me here.

It’s been a tough decision to move on and there’s plenty that I’ll miss. Ultimately I would not have been able to forgive him.

Therefore, I thought i’d start a thread to give some positivity to myself and other ladies in this position....

So let’s talk about what we won’t miss or, if already separated, what you don’t miss.

I won’t miss him putting things (hair, dead insects, bits of food) down the toilet and having the fright of my life when I go to use it.

I won’t miss feeling guilty about mid-week hobbies/drinks with friends (I always felt I was missing out on quality time with him).

I won’t miss his dreadful timekeeping.

I’ll add more if I think of more!

I don't miss being his house maid.
I don't miss being pestered for sex constantly when I don't feel like it.
I don't miss his constant financial disasters.
I don't miss spending every weekend doing what he wants and going on holiday wher ever he wants.
I don't miss the total lack of communication.
I don't miss the heavy atmosphere.
I don't miss his bad attitude towards my family.
I don't miss his messy and chaotic ways.
I don't miss his total lack of empathy.

I don't miss:

• the lying
• the snoring
• finding out about the next string of lies
• his bad breath
• his CONSTANT talking
• ringing me to check EVERY FUCKING THING

I do miss knowing that someone truly loved me and always having someone to rely on.
What I've since learned is that most men are absolute twats, no matter how sweet they first appear.

I sometimes wonder why we ever give them houseroom.

Come on ladies give me a break. I'm going through a bad divorce

My wife had bad breath too!
And she never washed her hands after using the toilet. It used to drive my 13 year old daughter mad

Yellowshit
Very naughty lol

So sorry
I meant Yellowshirt lt keeps on changing my words.

I've been divorced nearly 9 years & I don't miss
Him
Having to scrounge round for money to buy food because he had blown what he was supposed to give me for housekeeping on EBay crap.
His lies
His fantasy world of what he had done before he met me.
His family, the most over bearing dictatorial I have ever met.
His mess
His laziness
His moods
His habits
His greed
His temper

The lack of sex and him never looking at me. So I'm missing something that never happened but by having him leaving I won't feel the rejection.

The never brushed, dirty hair and greasy pillow.

His sarcastic remarks.

His relationship with his narcissistic, controlling mother who was so so unkind to me yet he continued to let her treat me like dirt.

And his timekeeping.
His ability to apologise.

Being blamed for everything or listen to him blame other people. Some things just happen. Just leave it!

Separated 3 years (nearly) and I don't miss:

Him sitting around his pants all day (opening the door to my friends in his pants, sweating on the sofa in his pants, farting noxiously and copiously in his pants etc).

His long monologues on various topics.

The scowling at me when he felt I'd done something wrong.

The pouty thing he did and the baby voice which he clearly thought was cute.

And the very disappointing sex

The hidden beauty of separation is maybe finding yourself again. I agree with all of the above but instead of thinking of what is missing try to move forward with what is gained. I seem to have more time and money without hin, do what the fuck I like, and my house my rules.

He wasn’t a bad husband, he just wasn’t really present and I feel like I’m a better mum without him around.

Onwards and upwards!

Her laziness
Her excessive drinking
Her moodyness
Her untidyness
Her self entitlement
Her self importance
My annoying in-laws
Her unwillingness to do anything other than sleep all day long
Her hording
Her lack of sex drive and willingness to even try

Think that about covers it.,

As Ex Husband I would say:

Miss

Watching son play (she minimizes the time myself and grandparents have child)

Evening meals as family

Taking child to out of school hobbies (he has none since he moved from FMH)

Don't miss

Ex going from size 12 to 18 and blaming the rest of the World

Ex attacking her daughter (my stepdaughter) as she had not gone from size 12 to 18, but remains a constant size 8

Ex calling police to house every time not get her own way

Ex abandoning son and stepdaughter for weeks at a time while she visit family in another Country

Ex thinking that money comes from a tap or from trees

Ex screaming racism whenever police not believe her (she is from African Country)

I don't think anyone has said this..

I don't miss sex .... sometimes it was seriously bad

I don't miss the emotional strops & bad moods when I didn't want to have sex

I don't miss the one sided monologues telling me I was a cold hearted witch for wanting to leave and everything was my fault.

There are others - but they are the main ones.

I wonder how many of these ' delightful individuals ' are now with someone else !

I know @victoriabun - I think staying single is safer!

My first husband leaving me was like a bolt of sunlight coming from between heavy rain clouds!

I don't miss:

• His way of making everyone feel bad about themselves
• His appalling sense of humour
• His legendary tight-fistedness
• His vanity and arrogance - both unjustified
• His skip furniture (see "legendary tight-fistedness")
• His lack of intelligence that he tried to hide behind a veil of contempt (not that he could spell contempt)
• His social awkwardness
• His revolting fetish

Why did I marry such a total twat???!

Oh my! I have had the crappiest day and you ladies and gents have just cheered me up no end. I honestly had no idea there was so many husband's as awful as mine. I don't feel half as alone as I did ten minutes ago. First time on a forum ever. I think I might just get through this after all.

Being told you are the worst excuse for a woman that he has ever met
General skid marks everywhere!
Being so fucking awesome at work and constantly telling me how amazing they think he is and how much they love him (cant be arsed to lift a finger or give us the time of day at home - you are so amazing I could die with excitement! I am so lucky!)
Expecting a standing ovation/medal for hoovering once every six months
Having to scrub the carpet daily because he won't wipe his feet
Waiting til I have gotten ready for a night out with the girls (once a year if that) and then making sure you crush my confidence, make me cry and ruin my night. Every. Single. Time.

Lord I miss that man............not!

Why did any of us get married? Yuck.

I think we all had the same husband!

Well rid of emotionally abusive husband.
Great posts.. MN.
Basket case husband just recently left.
In love with himself and he's fetish.
Don't miss all that gut wrenching anxiety!
The constant snide remarks.
The moods.
The sulking.
I can now watch what I want on tv, eat what I like and have a lie in without his sorry a#se waking me up at the crack of dawn every day.
All you MNETTERS are awesome!!

Looks like mostly Women have replied to this post. If so I have some questions:

How long did you stay with such horrible husbands?

If a long time, why and what prevented you from getting rid a long time ago?

If you got rid soon after realizing they were bad people good for you.

EXH and I actually still get on pretty well. At the time I thought the breakup of our marriage was one of the worst things that could've happened. But I've realised since the separation that there are several things I don't miss at ALL:

• General noise. Like a PP said, TV always blaring. Usually while hogging TV to watch some boring programme I have zero interest in.
• Blaring sport from the computer so loudly I can't hear the TV on the rare occasion I got to the TV first.
• Complete inability to put things in the bin. Rubbish thrown on the floor NEXT to the bin.
• Dirty clothes thrown on the floor next to the laundry basket.
• Him claiming he did the vast majority of the household chores (huge lie) and wasn't appreciated for it enough
• Always waiting for him to be ready to go out. Or waiting for him to get back from the gym/shops/friend's house when we were supposed to go out as a family.
• Constant lateness.
• Him acting like I was completely unreasonable and uptight for being concerned about whether the house was locked / if we were parked illegally / his speeding. Then, not apologising and being moody when things got stolen from the unlocked house/garage/car, the car got towed, expensive speeding ticket etc etc.
• Having to justify time and money spent on DC activities despite me being main earner and doing ALL the running around and volunteering for said activities.
• Him being jealous of DC activities because he didn't get to do something similar as a child.
• Incessant nagging of DC 24/7
• Him complaining about me being boring and always falling asleep because I was tired from working two jobs, running around after kids, doing household stuff, managing a chronic condition. So annoying!!! Being up constantly working for 18 hours without a break is tiring but he would always act like that was an exaggeration and I was just too boring/didn't prioritise his feelings enough to stay awake.

In general since the separation I have more disposable money (even though the household income is less), more time, less mess, and more peace of mind. I was so upset when we split but I could NEVER live with him again!!!