I had asked DH that we tell the children as oldest child had asked me.lnthis week if we were getting a divorce. I was worried they had overheard something, found my book on how to tell the children etc. DH has buried his head in the sand for the three weeks since I told him it was over for me. I had discussed telling the children with my counsellor. I had read the relate book. This weekend was a good time in terms of things they have going on in the foreseeable future. I had had big row with DH yesterday and again today. I was worried about what the children had heard so I felt we had to do it.
DH grudgingly sat at the table with us and I told them. I didn't get past saying that though we both loved them we were going to separate. Tears from all and DH lost it. Shouting at me it was all my fault. It took me a while to calm the younger two down but they were then ok. Our eldest was very upset wailing and it took a long time for me to calm him down. He has asked me tonight at bedtime why it can't just stay as it is. Why does Daddy have to leave. It broke my heart. My DH did calm down and tried to smooth the situation a bit but to be honest he had totally ruined the situation with aggression. Maybe I should have run through with him more before. Maybe I should have gone to a couples counselling session (though we have done it before and it was not successful). I just feel like the worst mother and the biggest failure.
I had posted previously and someone was not very nice in response. I am feeling very fragile right now so please think twice before being horrible. I really can't take it tonight. I would just like someone to tell me that things get better. That I am not a terrible human being.