Spousal Maintenance

[NeedsAdvice2017]

Apologies in advance, but this is going to be a long one.

Nope, you aren't entitled to anything for you. I feel really strongly about his as DP's ex tried to rinse him for support for her (he earns a similar amount to your chap) to maintain her lifestyle. Guess what - you want it, you buy it. She doesn't really work at all, and kids are 12 and 14 so she could. As it goes, he is still paying her mortgage 3 years down the line (£1000 p/m) on top of the child maintenance at a similar cost to you. Meanwhile she takes holidays (without kids) and buys clothes/maintains gardener and cleaner because that's what she's used to.

You can and do work. You are responsible for making your lifestyle desires happen. I'm sure your albeit smaller income made it possible for your husband to do something's, like take an extra holiday a year or buy a snazzier car. Maybe you should pay him to still do these things?

I get spousal maintenance- but nowhere near that amount! And I have two kids, and earn less than you, and less relative to exh than you do to yours.
He is already paying you well over the odds child maintenance for one child.You can request spousal maintenance and I think you would probably get some in your situation but not as much as you are asking for.

I think you should ask for some spousal maintenance but have a more reasonable figure in mind.
And you must do this via a solicitor.

Child maintenance normally covers everything for the child, so roof over their head, food, clothes, and anything else in the time you have them.

Child care isnt normally paid on top.Rather you pay for the time they need care whilst with you, he pays for the child cafe on his days surely?

The courts start at 50/50 asset split but if you are having the child for more time/have less ability to earn then they might award an asset split in your favour.

I don't want to say any more as I don't want to be outed!
All I will say is that challenging an order is not as simple as it sounds. It will mean a legal battle and I have no confidence that the children will be protected from the fall out of that. This is why I'm so opposed to long term spousal maintenance - it builds resentment with the paying spouse and entitlement from the paid spouse and at the heart of it both spouses should be enabled to move on from the other while effectively co-parenting.
Also, challenging means taking the (albeit small) risk of having a duxbury calculation be applied and that is quite frightening!