Hi
I thought I would post a thread relating to new relationships and financial obligations after divorce.
I had been with my ex husband for 23 years. We have one child who was 5 at the time of the separation (10 Now). We live in Scotland.
My husband is self employed builder/joiner and when we separated he agreed to pay £500 a month for my daughter This was to pay her childcare after school and for me to reduce my working days from 5 to 4 as we didn't have any childcare on a Monday.
Since the split he is now with another woman and has had a daughter who has now turned 2 yrs old. As soon as his second child was born he reduced my daughters payments to £200 a month with no notice. He is a self employed builder and he had said that work was slow due to the recession.
He has sold our marital home which was in his name and I got £0 from this. Equity of approx £130k . He now lives in a large farmhouse with his new partner (which has 4 barns, one of which has recently been converted and has been rented out), the barn had been for sale for a few months but hadnt sold quickly enough. He has sold our marital home now and has made approx. £130k on it, which is his to keep.
I am now in a new relationship and have moved into a property which is jointly owned by me and my new partner. I am finding the financial dynamics of the new relationship and old relationship difficult.
My ex husband thinks that £200 a month is adequate (my daughters childcare alone is £150 per month!). I realise the building trade is slow at the moment and was happy to accept the lower amount of money for a time (2 years), but his property has now been sold and he is renting out another property. He doesn't make up for his lack of finances by taking his child to school, watching his child when she is sick or looking after her in the holidays for equal time (assuming he isn't working so often). I have to rely on my parents and my new partner to help me out in these situations.
To make things even more difficult I don't know what is the "norm"
regarding finances in a new relationship with someone who isn't my childs "Real" father.
Currently we have a joint account which I contribute 43%, him 57%. We buy our cars separately, I pay half of all holidays despite earning £20k less than him.
I don't know what to do, should I speak to my ex again regarding his maintenance? I know if I go to the CSA they said I could expect 15% of my husbands net income (but his books are always fudged as cash never goes through them) so this would give a skewed financial picture and I could end up with less money than I am getting at the moment.
What should I expect from a new relationship with a guy who earns £20k more than me and has never had any kids of his own.
I feel a bit let down. I have compromised my own career for my husbands business for the last 20 yrs. Now I am in a situation where I can only work 4 days in my current jobs and cant get any employment for another day.
Can anyone offer me some advice?
Thanks