What manly things have you done today?

[TiggyOfQuirm]

I scratched my chin while surveying the garden, thinking about plans and schemes.

I ate a fried breakfast with many manly rashers of bacon, and a bit of black pudding.

Erm phoned my mum and sorted out the house. That counts right??!!

Just in case I don't win manly points for that I did go to the gym today.

The gym counts as long as you didn't use a jacuzzi.

What about a sauna?

Fine as long as it was uncomfortably hot. Otherwise it's just sitting in a warm room of glistening half naked men.

Chopped Veggies with a nice big sharp nice. Saw a hare, crows, pigeons and magpies and thought only of shooting them.....

Um....

Did a bit of work on a goat farm waiting for them to pop kids out......

Any of that count?

Wielding big chopper, killing things, all good.

Goat farming not so sure.

moved 68 barrels of beer
worked on a racing motorcycle
pissed standing up
drunk a pint of IPA

Borrowed a copy of Frozen.

I am all man.

Made some sour dough bread as that's manly baking, also had a glass of guest ale "over/above the bar" I think, which I do rarely as usually find it tastes disgusting after the 4-5 mouthful.

Also fixed a pair of bathroom scales where the on off switch had seemed to have burnt out. Google helped me find out it was a vibration switch, then was able to buy some from amazon, remove old one with my Tandy childhood soldering iron and put the new one in.

I changed a lightbulb this morning if that counts?

I hadn't realised that MN was such a hotbed of manliness.

I bought some things in Halfords. Manly things.

I kicked a turtle in the head.

Accidentally, obviously, it swam into my foot, but that's still pretty manly, right?

Were you in the back of beyond in a mangrove swamp, large knife at the ready in case of alligators? Or did you trip up in a petting zoo?

I was snorkelling. No sharks or jellyfish, sadly, or I would have kicked them too. Because that would also be manly.

Swore at the fuse box, replaced the fuse.

Ordered a new sander from Screwfix, to collect tomorrow.

Instructed 16 small humans in the art of going feet first down the slide whilst still looking cool.

Looked at the sun through welding glass.

Broke the back of a turd the size of a crocodile and forced the fucker down the toilet. Congratulated the child that laid it.

All before 3pm.

Kicking jellyfish is not manly. They're quivering blobs with no backbones. It would be like picking a fight with a vegan.

Honey is the most manly so far. Although changing your name from Honey... to something like Razor... would obviously be better.

Moved some heavy furniture.

Ate a big dinner and then unfastened the button on my jeans.

Got disappointed at lack of beer in house.

The furniture was really heavy, mind. [flexes guns]

Heavy for a manly man type? Or heavy for a lady wearing a fake beard?

Furniture isn't heavy. It's never heavy. If you can't move it it's because it might fall apart if you do.

With exception of the cabinets and caracasses I ripped out the house last week. I had trouble shifting the last part of that until I realised some spouse like twat had bolted it to the fucking floor.

I scratched my bits.
that manly enough?

The other manly people complained it was heavy too, it was not yer ikea flatpack I'll have you know.

Anyway this is a real beard, and the wire hooks around the top of my ears are just ultra-alternative piercings.

And if the furniture could be described as "ornate" or "antique" you're getting on towards dangerously metrosexual.