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Why would you watch porn?

193 replies

AmIHumanYet · 02/02/2014 00:00

How can anybody ENJOY seeing a woman being treated as a sex object? I watched some as research (seriously!) a few months ago, the general themes were men disrespecting women. it was focused on the mans pleasure and orgasm, why do some of you think that that's okay? There's NOTHING equal about this industry

Young men are getting weird and wrong ideas about women and how they should be treated from watching porn. Women are shown as sex OBJECTS, not human beings, they're shown as always being up for it, that basically using her as a wank-tool is enough to make her orgasm, that being selfish and focused on your own pleasure and orgasm is acceptable

I really want to hear some male opinions on this, it has been really upsetting me for a long time now and I feel powerless.

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Daddyofone · 06/03/2014 22:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Daddyofone · 06/03/2014 22:50

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AmIHumanYet · 06/03/2014 23:02

You may think you 'get it' but are you concerned in any way shape or form about these issues, do you actually give a shit?
No, it's not 'just people, having sex on a screen'! The porn actresses are often abused, MAINSTREAM porn features acts that can be physically and mentally painful.
Just one of many porn actresses experiences, she was abused and suffered injuries as well as contracting diseases and being treated appallingly, these cases are not rare at all.

Link

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AmIHumanYet · 06/03/2014 23:06

Genital bruising, anal prolapse, sexually transmitted diseases, HIV and psychological trauma are just a few of the effects working in the porn industry can and do have on the actresses

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AmIHumanYet · 06/03/2014 23:08

But it's not just young men who watch porn, Daddyofone...

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Technotropic · 06/03/2014 23:14

AmI

I provided links that show your beliefs are non conclusive yet you still try to bulldoze your pov. I happen to agree that some porn is misogynistic but its effects are not black and white, unlike your views.

I watched a documentary, 'after porn ends' and it examined a large number of stars and their lives. It's worth a watch although you probably would like to hear that their experiences of the industry were varied. Some regretted it whilst some felt it was the best thing they ever did. It's easy to selectively pick the worst stories but not the ones where women found the industry incredibly rewarding.

AmIHumanYet · 06/03/2014 23:20

MAINSTREAM porn is misogynistic, Technotropic. You can argue that the effects are not black and white but the fact is that my generation have been hugely affected by porn and so are younger people
What do you have to say about this, does it concern you?

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Technotropic · 06/03/2014 23:33

Ok, so let me put it this way. I read your OP and then decided to learn more to find if your views held water. I did this with a balanced view as a lot of people have a similar view to you.

Yet, as I've posted (including a school education website), the effects are not conclusive so you claim whatever 'facts' you like.

I'm not arguing but presenting information that is readily available on the internet.

AmIHumanYet · 06/03/2014 23:35

But what about real life experiences? Hmm

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Technotropic · 06/03/2014 23:44

We'll given research is based on thousands of real life experiences then I'd say yours is valid but not an indicator of the bigger picture, obviously.

AmIHumanYet · 06/03/2014 23:49

How very odd, what a strange coincidence that porn has had a huge, extremely negative effect on me and the vast majority of young women I know

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Technotropic · 06/03/2014 23:54

No not odd as I'm not discounting your experience but saying the evidence suggests your claim isn't true.

You clearly don't get what I'm trying to say so let's just leave it as we'll end up going round in circles.

AmIHumanYet · 06/03/2014 23:54

I wouldn't like to tell somebody what they think but this type of denial and refusal to see an issue comes across as apathy to me. The fact that you claim that only a bit of porn is misogynistic gives me the impression that you have no idea about mainstream porn OR that you don't see the objectification and degrading of women as a bad thing?

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AmIHumanYet · 06/03/2014 23:57

Actually, I understand exactly what you're trying to say and it does come across as you couldn't care less about these issues.
Which claim do you think isn't true? The links you provided each reference a piece of evidence that suggests porn does have a negative effect.
Do you honestly not think the media affects and influences people?

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NeoFaust · 07/03/2014 10:02

Disagreement is not apathy. Your life experiences can be true; They can also be the minority.

Mainstream porn features acts that my girlfriend and I enjoy together on a regular basis - including the acts that are 'painful' and degrading. She does not consider this abuse because she (enthusiastically) consents. It is not therefore impossible that porn actresses consent, enthusiastically or otherwise, to an experience which they are fully knowledgeable of beforehand. As such, this is not abuse.

Indeed, where is female agency in any of your statements? Or do you believe that these women possess none? Perhaps you should examine your own prejudices against women in these industries - they are not by any means all stupid or unaware just because they make life choices you do not understand.

AmIHumanYet · 07/03/2014 15:53

Again NeoFaust, you sound clueless and are missing my points entirely.
WHEN did I even imply that these women are stupid or unaware?! It is obvious to me that you are missing the points on purpose and making my posts into something that they're not.

Just because your girlfriend enjoys certain things, it doesn't mean that women and GIRLS should be EXPECTED to! What part of that don't you understand?
Just because a porn actress consented to appearing in porn, it doesn't mean she consented to Genital bruising, anal prolapse, sexually transmitted diseases, HIV and psychological trauma.
Oh, I forgot, some porn actresses enjoy being hurt, that's fine then.

I have no prejudices against women in these industries, actually. Why haven't you mentioned the men? The men that control what goes on in the industry?

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NeoFaust · 07/03/2014 16:15

I haven't mentioned the men, because without women legally consenting to participate there would be no industry. I admit that I would like to see more high level women in the industry, but that's true of just about all of them! Those women that are directors and producers are to be applauded for their gumption and drive.

Nobody says girls should be expected to act out what is seen in porn. Indeed, I'd say that the whole 'boys expect x y and z because of porn' is massively inaccurate. You're saying that men are asking women to carry out certain sex acts. So? What's wrong with asking? How is asking someone forcing them or the same as saying there is an expectation? Actually forcing someone to do something sexual against their will is morally foul and illegal, but there is nothing wrong with suggesting sexual activities and definitely nothing wrong with expressing your own sexual preferences. If someone does not share your sexual desires you have every right to try and find someone who does. This is not the same as forcing or expecting - it's the natural pursuit of a fulfilling sex life.

I'm guessing you're going to say these 'preferences' have been instilled by porn and would not otherwise exist. However, you are definitely wrong on that one. Male/female anal sex has been around since the victorian age and probably long before. Solid records exists of just about every perversity imaginable being experimented with at one time or another - it's just now we're throwing of the Neo-Edwardian prudery and both men and women's sexuality is flourishing as never before.

With regards to potential damage that women suffer during porn, I'd point out that the information exists to make women aware of the potential dangers and risks; indeed, in many polities the industry is obligated to provide information, health support and insurance. As such, women are consenting with full awareness of the risk, the same as my brother did when he joined the Forces.

AmIHumanYet · 07/03/2014 17:26

Wait, I DID NOT SAY asking, I said EXPECTING. It really is as if you cannot read the words I am saying! Have you heard of the word 'pressurising'?
And YES, women and girls are expected to do things that can demean them and cause them pain.
Do you really think the horrific examples of the childrens experiences I have given are the exception?
Have you watched mainstream porn? Is it centred on the mans pleasure or not? Yes, it is! It gives young viewers false expectations about what sex is like, it teaches boys that it's okay to use women as sex objects.
You seem to think these things are fine though.

I am absolutely appalled that you are trying to justify porn actresses suffering genital bruising, anal prolapse, sexually transmitted diseases, HIV and psychological trauma because 'they consented with full awareness of the risk'
Do you honestly see nothing wrong with what you're saying?

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AmIHumanYet · 07/03/2014 17:44

& I don't just mean the woman or girl being pressured into certain things during sex, there's also the pressure that comes with living in a society that views women as sex objects, the images and ideas they're bombarded with, peer-pressure, the expectations of men and boys etc

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FastLoris · 07/03/2014 22:37

AmIHumanYet -

Can I ask: Where did you get the idea that men's oppressive sexual expectations of women were only invented after the onset of internet porn?

You do know that marital rape wasn't even a crime until fairly recently, right?

AmIHumanYet · 07/03/2014 23:16

FastLoris, I don't have that idea and have not claimed to during this thread, we live in a patriarchal society and have done for a very long time.
I have raised issues surrounding and related to porn though

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Technotropic · 08/03/2014 00:00

Have you watched mainstream porn? Is it centred on the mans pleasure or not? Yes, it is! It gives young viewers false expectations about what sex is like, it teaches boys that it's okay to use women as sex objects.

No AmI

Porn does not give anyone anything. people interpret what they will from porn based upon their personal values. This is why research shows your claim to be inconclusive. You forget that people have the ability to make their own minds up and are not thoughtless empty vessels that watch things on TV/DVD and accept it as the norm.

Give people some credit FGS. The trouble with feminists and people like yourself is that you forget people have things called minds and use them to make all sorts of value judgements. Not all people that watch porn are bad and many have quite respectful relations with their partners. Believe it or not, many normal women watch porn nowadays too.

AmIHumanYet · 08/03/2014 00:28

This is the point where I stop paying attention- 'The trouble with feminists and people like yourself is that you forget people have things called minds' Hmm

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Toadinthehole · 08/03/2014 00:56

OK. Bye then.

Toadinthehole · 08/03/2014 03:00

Neofaust

Re Edwardian attitudes to sexuality:

The history of sexuality in society interests me greatly and it is a pity that research into it is only now being done. I've never read much on the subject directly, although what I have read bears out your comment and the programme you watched.

Certainly if mediaeval and early modern literature is anything to go by, women's sexuality was something accepted as a fact at all levels of society. It only seems to have started going into the closet in polite society in the eighteenth century. Still, it seems to me that by the start of the Victorian era, women were already seen as sexless.

Against this is of course the dismal continuity of absolute double standards to the detriment of women. Women were expected to keep themselves safe, and "seduction by" a women was, even on the facts as admitted, simply rape of a woman. And while the often-repeated remark that women were legally the property of men is not true, it is not surprising that society should be characterised in that way.

Re the Victorians: I suspect the couple you mentioned are the Kingsleys (the husband being Charles Kingsley, CofE vicar and author of The Water Babies) and it is true that their marriage was pretty remarkable. However, they were exceptional - and very fortunate to be rich enough to have the privacy to express themselves that way. I think we forget just how little privacy people had until after the War. I think the probability is that sexual expression was pretty confined.

As for the Edwardians - I'm prepared to accept that is at the point that female sexuality became most invisible, although possibly not the time that was most sexually repressive - it is too close to the prime of Oscar Wilde and Aubrey Beardsley for starters.

For sheer out-and-out repression, I'd go for the republic of Ireland in the 50s: exemplified by archbishops censoring lingerie catalogues for being provocative - their motive being to protect men from being led into the sin of lust. Now we live in a time when people can be more open about sex - and porn, or so it seems to me, is a contingent part of that openness. I daresay there are people who would prefer no porn to exist - but that seems to go hand in hand with sexual repression - and for that matter - no contraception or abortion. I suspect that the endless debates on porn would generate more light and less heat if people took history into account.

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