Lady free thread for those scary times!

[TiggyD]

Come in and relax. There's big squashy leather sofas, a variety of games consoles, a drinks fridge, bottomless bowls of crisps (Frazzles, ridged ones and nachos), paintings of trains, boats and cars, and everything is black/white or chrome.

have u got any fat free dips?

A female eh?

We only have full fat dips, AND I've stirred in some extra butter!

We also have absolutely no diet drinks either. Apart from Man-Coke (Coke Zero).

ok i'll settle for man coke but please tell me you have some matt cardle for the iphone?

ipod

cant even get the gadgetty names right!

We only have ROCK!

Are patriarchal handmaidens allowed?

oh no! all that headbanging tangles up my clip-in extensions.

too far?

Well, I'm no lady.

I hope you have Yorkie bars.

"Are patriarchal handmaidens allowed?"

We don't need any. The furniture all wipes clean in theory. The dips are served in the plastic pots they came in so there's no washing up there. The crisp bowls/doilies/glasses are all disposable. The floor is all laminate, so a quick flash round with a leaf blower will dust the whole place. No cleaning at all to do.

Bugger. There must be some servitude I can perform? How about if I fetch the man-coke and then hover around expectantly for orders or something?

you're so funny.

I'm not serving YOU. Wrong bits.

Sigmund you could keep the bowl of super ridgey crisps topped up and make sure there is lots of ice for the man coke.

and someone has to wipe the floor after each man has had his wee

Ah well, I've had a lot of practice at wee wiping, my DH and DS's just pee all over the floor and, naturally, being a mere woman, it's my job to clean it up.

My cloth is ready, and I'm feeling downtrodden. We're good to go

ah bless, they can't help it really can they.

You lot have the whole site to enjoy yourselves in. This bit is only for us real men like Honey and I.

Runs

'You lot have the whole site to enjoy yourselves in.'

But the whole world is your oyster of privilege.

ooh, while you two are here- there's a shelf in the bathroom needs fixing back up- you could hammer it back up- or whatever it is men do to shelves

Need rawlplugs
Shops shut