Advice hugely appreciated

[Laos2011]

Hello from an expectant father, baby boy due 4th April. First post on this site

Will try and keep my bio short and then get to the single question....

Girlfriend lives in Laos (South East Asia) at the moment. She will be having our child there and then I will be looking to get her back to the UK as soon a practicaly possible after the birth. I am flying out there for 5 weeks to be with her, will be my first time in Laos.

Laos is a very poor undeveloped country, I am bringing over what I can, clothes etc... but there is a limit to what i can bring based on luggage allowances and practicality. I would love to bring over a large sterlising unit, buggy and breast pump, my suitcase will obviously not support such items. I wont have the luxury of a mothercare or boots on every street corner.

If there was 1 single thing you would recommend I bring over, what would it be?

I appreciate thats a very open ended non specific question but I just want to pick the brains of mums and parents to be. Understanding that I will be fairly remote from "civilisation" I am just looking for ideas of things I could not live without and probably not get over there.

All feedback greatly received

Ever seen the equality that exists in this sort of relationship Morally? No, neither have I.

The fact that he came here to ask, and not his girlfriend, speaks volumes.

Posie, its his girlfriend. Not a mail order bride. In the pursuit of juicy, scandalous gossip you are making many wild assumptions. Is MN that dull atm?

Who said Mail Order bride, not me. I've spent too long in that region to think highly of any pack of men that frequent Thailand, it may be unfair...I couldn't really give a toss. He's not married her has he? Or paid for a decent birth? I'm not preparing any rosettes for man of the year.

Ignore this if it's already been said but when are you thinking of booking the plane ticket back to the UK for the three of you ? I only ask because I was told I couldn't fly long haul for thirteen weeks after a C section and six weeks after a normal birth due to DVT.
Anne Diamond also at one point thought her baby's cot death might be linked to him flying at a young age, not sure if there was anything to back that up scientifically though.

Talk about disingenuous :-

"And I know I'm being mean but the whole sex tourism/finding a Thai bride/girlfriend thing disgusts me.."

and

"I'm really confused, although I do know men that do vile objectifying purchasing of women in Thailand have been threatened with death if they don't marry them. "

and

"Western man gets a bride that treats him like a King, and the woman gets a ticket out of poverty. Still only like woman all over the world."

And we also have the deleted posts which were presumably also full of inflammatory, libelous shite.

Reality, BOF initiated this crap, with the express intention that it would escalate into a full blown MN heckling episode. Like I said, shit stirring.

The time scale for her comming to the UK will be dictated by several different things. How mother feels about travelling, I have a load of paperwork to sort, various different levels of getting the relationship recognised, hopefully culminating in a marriage.

I am hoping to have both back in the UK before the year is out.

I have done some research on what age babies can (or should) fly long haul. I will research cot death link.

Thx

Reality, first page 13.13 by BOF.

I see she reeled you in good.

not entirely sure if it's been said but if she is likely to be at risk by giving birth over there, is there any way she could have the baby somewhere less scary (in medical terms)? I mean, privately on Thailand perhaps, or in another country nearby, not necessarily here.

I would think that should be your priority.

Morally....He's spent less than six weeks with this woman EVER. He met her in Thailand and she's a poverty stricken woman from Laos. Have you any idea what you're dismissing?

Wondering where Anyfucker is.

You disputed my latter paragraph above (18.36). I reiterated my point by indicating who started the snide intimations.

As for Machiavellian - no, but wind up merchant, hell yes.

As for me, Im a figment of your imagination dear.

I have my ideas who this poster is.....

Posie, the OP has furnished us with limited details. So how you, Reality & BOF have arrived at this sordid narrative, is beyond me.

It's called intelligent guessing. The OP omits lots because there's lots to tell...and it ain't nice.

morally, I'm quite about the amount of information some posters know about this op too. I suspect they are privy to things we aren't. Which may suggest why they're taking the stance they are... however, I stick by my original instinct to take the op at face value.

Its based on guesswork apparently.

OP-

Does she nag? And can she put up shelves?

He's spent a lot of time in Thailand....

Why do men go to Thailand?

His friends have all married Thai women....

Why have they all married Thais?

He's spent very little time with his new bride?

Doesn't sound like love to me.

She's never been to England and he's never met her family

She was working in Thailand and comes from Laos

She's having her baby in one of the most impoverished places in the region.....

He's asking mumsnet what to buy and not the mother of his child......

Surely just a 'I know what you must be thinking but my gf is the love of my life would have sufficed'.

Provide me a snapshot of you life for me to judge and comment on first please Posie? Maybe I can try and change my circumstance and life to mirror that of your perfect existence.

This thread has answered my question though. The main thing that my child will need in life A THICK SKIN. As a white male I have never had to experience racism and bigotry before. Looks like this may be something I will have to get use to when I have my family back in the UK though.

I suppose an internet forum just represents a cross section of society, thankfully it would appear the vast majority of people on here are good people. The rest of them? Well, not for me to judge really is it.

As I have said before....

"I didn?t, and haven?t, provided details on my circumstance as I felt it insignificant to my original question. If you swore by the "Acme V.2 breast pump" and could not live without it, it shouldn?t have mattered if I met my gf online or in a bar, or whether she?s from Laos or Lecister

The thread was about "any must" have items for a new mum or parents. If its not going to go back on track it may as well be locked.

So basically, their circumstances don't conform to your idea of courtship, love etc?

That was to Posie btw