Advice hugely appreciated

[Laos2011]

Hello from an expectant father, baby boy due 4th April. First post on this site

Will try and keep my bio short and then get to the single question....

Girlfriend lives in Laos (South East Asia) at the moment. She will be having our child there and then I will be looking to get her back to the UK as soon a practicaly possible after the birth. I am flying out there for 5 weeks to be with her, will be my first time in Laos.

Laos is a very poor undeveloped country, I am bringing over what I can, clothes etc... but there is a limit to what i can bring based on luggage allowances and practicality. I would love to bring over a large sterlising unit, buggy and breast pump, my suitcase will obviously not support such items. I wont have the luxury of a mothercare or boots on every street corner.

If there was 1 single thing you would recommend I bring over, what would it be?

I appreciate thats a very open ended non specific question but I just want to pick the brains of mums and parents to be. Understanding that I will be fairly remote from "civilisation" I am just looking for ideas of things I could not live without and probably not get over there.

All feedback greatly received

I am untroubled by such restraints, kreecher

Bamboo nappies? Really? [boggle]. So nappies which are made from stuff which grows in East Asia, gets shipped to Britain, ends up in the kind of local chemist that I've certainly never shopped in, and wends its way back across to the other side of the world in this blokes suitcase? Not very eco-friendly for a lentil-weaver nappy, is it?

IME, in Thailand babies don't wear nappies. They shit and piss where they are [vom]

wow, very classy RealityIsKnockedUp. Thought this discusson would bring out the parent in people and not the hate. I think your post says alot more about the person you are than the person I am.

All I am trying to do is be as prepared as I can for the birth of my CHILD

To all the PARENTS out there with the tips and advice, I cannot thank you enough.

Reality
That is really not on. I think that you should apologise to Laos.

It is ok to enquire how Laos met his partner but that was a step too far.

RealityIsKnockedUp - I will just prepare my cynical, unhelpful, judgemental responses for any similar posts I see on here:-

Condoms as your only 15
Condoms as you already have 2 kids from 2 other men
Condoms as you cant afford a child
Condoms as you are not mature enough for a child
Condoms as the council cant afford to feed you and your clan any more

Or shall I just provide any useful tips or advice as a PARENT to other PARENTS and parents to be?

I think that women in laos have been having babies for amany many years.

I am quite sure that the things she "needs" will be available.

I am assuming youhaven't ordered her from a catalogue and therefore are able to speak with her. why not ask her what things she would like but is unable to get hold of.

maybe send her some mothercare catalogues and see what she would like.

asking a bunch of strangers what they think you could take over to your poor disadvantaged girlfreind seems a bit...odd.

Can i ask how you have managed to impregnate her if you have never even been to teh country?

"asking a bunch of strangers what they think you could take over to your poor disadvantaged girlfreind seems a bit...odd"

You do know what a forum is dont you?

I am a parent asking other parents for advice on an internet forum. Is that odd?

Nursing bras - the sleep bras come in simpler sizes S, M, L, XL, XXL, so a bit easier to guess the size rather than 34D or 36E etc.

Pharmacy checklist:

• Calpol
• Infancol (several packs, as if needed you will get through it quickly)
• Sudocrem (best for nappy rash)
• Some good suncream - I think Avent did an "Out and About" cream suitable from birth, but may not be high enough SPF? Maybe someone else out there would know this. Avent "Out and About" cream might be better than nothing.
• Something for thrush. Particularly if it is likely to be warm and humid. Without going into too much detail, you can often get thrush infections breastfeeding - on nipples (needing one cream) and in the baby's mouth (needing an oral gel). Not sure if you can get it over the counter though.

Lots of muslin clothes ... mopping up milk dribbles, shading pram in sun, light sheets for bedding, etc...

Is malaria an issue? Sorry don't know the geography well.

Baby gros - or basic short sleeve body suits, in 1 month & 3 month sizes.

A small sized cotton waffle blanket (cotton knit with little holes in it) might be really good. We found it good at keeping the baby cool in hot weather, as well as warm when needed.

Sun hats, or something to keep the baby out of the shade.

For cots, the Samsomite bubble had a built in mosquito net if that is needed.

Sterilising bits: Tablets to dissolve in water (NB will the chlorine ones you get in the UK be strong enough, or do you need iodine as well ... I would try to get some proper advice on that one, maybe Tropical Diseases Hospital, or may be someone else will know the answer.)

If you have room, the ONE toy we couldn't have lived without was our Tiny Love playarch - folds flat, and might possibly fit in the bottom of a large suitcase. A basic bouncy chair is also lovely, the bottom of the range one from John Lewis, or similar is fine.

odd as in you have chosen to ask strangers seemingly before you have asked your "girlfriend"

You have made judgments about a country you have never visited.

and you have refused to answer questions that may clear up the more cynical views that your situation is bound to attract.

so yes, odd.

and i am well aware of how this forum works. you pose a question and you will get replies. you may not like them all but getting all arsey because people have jumped to a rather obvious conclusion will get you nowhere dear.

could i ask what it is you think is bigotted about asking the woman herself what she would like?

by saying that the things she needs will be available and the things that she may like will be very much a personal decision.

I am British born and bred, i would have no use for an all singing all dancing breast pump. Though i am sure a great many other women would have adored such a present.

I am quite unsure as to why you feel the need to have gotten so aggresive.

Well that is NOT the conclusion I came to reading this thread yogi.

Those assumptions and comments say more about those posting them than the OP imvho. Horrible.

Im sorry but this man has described teh mother of his child as his "girlfriend"

He isn't doing some chairty work with a village he has had no prior contact with.

we are discussing one size fits all nursing bras ffs.

WHY NOT JUST ASK THE POOR WOMAN!

your poor disadvantaged girlfreind seems a bit odd

This is bigoted

I don't want to be asked what I want every time my partner buys me somthing. And when I had my first child I didn't know what I'd need. I asked on a forum and got some advice

I think using his initiative and sorting it out for himself is admirable

But enough of a hijack

Have you considered a BushBaby Nest Egg
travel cot?

www.bush-baby.com/nestegg.html

They're:

• incredibly lightweight
• fold down small enough to easily fit into a suitcase (I've flown with ours several times) with loads of space to spare
• include a built in mosquito net
• has SPF30 so can double as a play tent during the day; and
• when you bring your GF and newborn back to the UK then baby will have something comfortingly familiar to sleep in.

They come with a self-inflating mattress, so they're plenty good enough to use as a semi-permannt bed in the UK (they're big enough to take children up to the age of 5).

Can't recommend them highly enough.

BTW, it can be quite hard to get hold of nest eggs immediately after a natural disaster because they get requisitioned by the emergency relief agencies (the company have an agreement to sell them to disaster relief charities at cost and in priority to commerical customers). Very but a resounding endorsement of the product.

Can we please just get back on topic?

I have explained the background in a private message to somebody that asked a question earlier in the thread. I expained that I did not want to detail it in the thread as I wanted it to remain on topic. We are now WAY off topic.

I have no interest in your religious or political views, the colour of your skin or your nationality. I will not judge you on geographical location, your financial status or marital status.

I quite respectfully asked for advice and tips and have received loads of useful information.

For all those who have taken time to assist I thank you

i often describe my partner of 13 years and father of my two children as my boyfriend, does that mean he's some ignorant, toyboy i met through youngmenrus.com???

i didn't know how big my boobs would be when my milk came in, did you? i doubt the OPs girlfriend does either, because of this a bunch of strangers on a forum who don't know me recommended that i buy a stretchy nursing bra that would fit even if i increased 2 cup sizes overnight, which i did.

and you know what, they didn't expect to know how we met and concieved our child first before they'd give me some help, although, shock horror, i am not a native of this country

(that's at yogididabigtwattishpost, not everyone else who has been lovely and helpful)

Congratulations, BTW!