Advice hugely appreciated

[Laos2011]

Hello from an expectant father, baby boy due 4th April. First post on this site

Will try and keep my bio short and then get to the single question....

Girlfriend lives in Laos (South East Asia) at the moment. She will be having our child there and then I will be looking to get her back to the UK as soon a practicaly possible after the birth. I am flying out there for 5 weeks to be with her, will be my first time in Laos.

Laos is a very poor undeveloped country, I am bringing over what I can, clothes etc... but there is a limit to what i can bring based on luggage allowances and practicality. I would love to bring over a large sterlising unit, buggy and breast pump, my suitcase will obviously not support such items. I wont have the luxury of a mothercare or boots on every street corner.

If there was 1 single thing you would recommend I bring over, what would it be?

I appreciate thats a very open ended non specific question but I just want to pick the brains of mums and parents to be. Understanding that I will be fairly remote from "civilisation" I am just looking for ideas of things I could not live without and probably not get over there.

All feedback greatly received

I really can't believe the attitudes of some posters. He met a girl from Laos when he was in Thailand, they spent some time together, now she's pregnant and he's bringing her and their baby home and hoping to marry her. This sounds like a nice story to me. Maybe not quite as planned and organised as would be ideal, but that's life.

I know there is a huge problem with the sex industry in Thailand and that vulnerable girls are treated appalling by disgusting western men, but I really don't think those sorts of men come on mumsnet for advice on how to help care for their newborn babies with those girls. It's extremely offensive to suggest this is the only possible story for a relationship between a Thai or Laos girl and a western man. I know several Thai girls and would expect them to form relationships with people in just the same way as any other girl I know, and this would not be based on exploitation, whether or not the man in question was western. There are all kinds of reasons why many of his mates may be attracted to Thailand and Thai women - it's an extremely pleasant and joyful place and the people are friendly and lovely (despite all the problems and seedy areas, which you are only exposed to in a small number of areas).

I don't think it at all strange that the OP has come on here for advice, nor do I think that it suggests he doesn't talk to his girlfriend. If she's not had a baby before she won't know most of this stuff, and if she's from Laos she is unlikely to know much about all the western conveniences which she might really appreciate if her boyfriend brings them for her.

OP - good luck with everything, and please ignore all this vitriol (unless, of course, you are vilely exploiting her!).

ThePosieParker
'I have my ideas who this poster is.....'

You dont think it's Gary Glitter do you?

My advice is not to take the bitching in this thread with you - it may do your partner's and the baby's head in.

Good luck with things.

Don't worry if holding the baby for the first time feels a bit weird. And don't worry if you find yourself at a complete loss as to what you should be doing, no one has a clue what they are meant to do. Just keep the baby fed, clean and loved and as long as you don't drop it, you'll be fine.

Before you know it the little mite will be kicking you in the balls when you are carrying it in a sling, jumping on your balls when it is jumping over your knees in bed, grabbing hold of your balls when it is learning to walk.... etc

In fact to be on the safe side, buy a cricket box and wear it permanantly until the age of five or so.

Good morning all,

Just to sign this off....

I have just spent a couple of hours looking at all the suggestions provided in the thread. I will be purchasing several items over the next couple of weeks, some things that I never even knew existed.

I would just like to say a final thank you to everybody that contributed.

Thanks for your advice and time

Look after her, Laos.

The very best, most important thing a father can do for his child is to love its mother.

Doesn't look like it, Reality. I do wish he would stop avoiding that question - it's really quite important.

Reality, he pm'd me earlier, and I don't think I'm giving much away saying that he had asked her to come here to give birth but unsurprisingly she wanted to have her baby near her family and all that's familiar. Might seem odd for us and our European standards to want to give birth in a country with such poor standards of hospital care, but it's her choice. Op also asked her if she wanted to have the baby in Thailand but she said she wanted to have the baby in Laos. You've got to respect her choice.

Oh, really? That's reassuring. Thankyou for posting that.

Laos, Good luck with everything.

Unfortunately you have experienced the very worst of MN. As you say, most people here are helpful and non-judgemental, but there is a gang of "judges" that hover like flies round shit, waiting to stick the boot in, usually to blokes or any woman that likes blokes. You're not the first and you won't be the last. They've already moved on to their next target.

Hope it all goes well.