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Victims of crime

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Original poster

What to take to prison 2

609 replies

drinkswineoutofamug · 25/04/2018 08:21

Not a great title but can't think of anything catching this time of the morning. Will figure out how to link to the old thread.

OP posts:
Original poster
drinkswineoutofamug · 14/05/2018 21:23

Think she will be held over night . She was arrested at 10am. So court tomorrow 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
gruffaloshmuffalo · 14/05/2018 21:58

I'm sorry drinks

Weezol · 14/05/2018 22:10

I'm so sorry to hear this. WineBrew

Original poster
drinkswineoutofamug · 14/05/2018 22:14

I'm trying to think what the fuck have I done to deserve this. I'm sat at the desk of my new job when I get a text message off her social worker to say she's been arrested. Where do I start with that one?!

OP posts:
Weezol · 15/05/2018 00:15

You haven't done anything to deserve this. Nothing at all. You have done everything in your power to help her take a different path. If she currently won't or can't accept help, please don't blame yourself.

I know these words are probably not much help in the circumstances and can't change the stress, fear and worry you are going through, but please look after yourself and if you need to take a break from going to court with her or collecting her from the station, do it.

I'm not suggesting going NC or abandoning her by any means, just saying that if you need to step away for a few days, it really is okay to do that.

I know you know that. I knew that too, but had to be reminded occasionally! Brew

youarenotkiddingme · 15/05/2018 07:02

You've done nothing to deserve this. You've been a rock and far more of a mum than many people ever have to be. Thanks

Original poster
drinkswineoutofamug · 15/05/2018 07:13

Thank you . If I could be arsed going to court with her , which I can't. I think she's about appearance number 38. I gave up at 25. My mum said the same as you weezol, it's nothing I've done, she's her own worse enemy and forever pushing that self destruct button.

OP posts:
tinytemper66 · 15/05/2018 11:05

Nothing to add but sending hugs and best wishes to you x

Groovee · 15/05/2018 11:33

You've been an amazing mum Drinks. Many would have just walked away from the child. But you are still there. But there is only so much you can take as a parent of a grown up child and they have to learn to sort themselves out and that their actions have consequences x

Original poster
drinkswineoutofamug · 15/05/2018 18:40

Still no news. I found out through her probation officer that it's x2 assault and breaking her probation.

OP posts:
Weezol · 15/05/2018 23:01

When do you go away on holiday? Three weeks on a beach is sounding ideal right about now!

Original poster
drinkswineoutofamug · 16/05/2018 16:04

Go away Monday

She got 18 weeks. Probably in her old cell at styal

OP posts:
catinboots9 · 16/05/2018 16:13

Oh drinks I'm so sorry.

Original poster
drinkswineoutofamug · 16/05/2018 16:19

She can stay therefor the full 18 weeks for all I care atm

OP posts:
youarenotkiddingme · 16/05/2018 16:45

It'll probably do her good if they are for her properly - supervised detox and make sure her epilepsy is treated appropriately.

Enjoy EVERY minute of your holiday - you DESERVE it Thanks

Original poster
drinkswineoutofamug · 17/05/2018 22:01

She's phoned won't tell us exactly what she's done until we visit. Gave her dad a list of stuff. Which we will drop off at the weekend. She got her benefits Monday so I've transferred some over to her prison account . I ain't paying for shit. She's got the same prison number so set up email a prisoner quickly enough.

OP posts:
Weezol · 17/05/2018 22:18

Enjoy your holiday. Maybe your daughter will find not having you 'on tap' for three weeks might help her appreciate what you do for her (hopefully).

tinytemper66 · 18/05/2018 10:45

The only thing I was allowed to take my son was his glasses and that was with permission from the governor. Nothing else was allowed.

SluttyButty · 18/05/2018 12:40

Oh drinks and tiny I've just read both threads in one go.

I know exactly how you feel. Strangely my son was sent to prison on remand 13 days before your original thread started after years of being a twat with me pulling my hair out, he'd been on tag, I'd got all available youth services involved but to no avail. He continued to be a twat.

He is being released next week and I've not seen him since Christmas 2016 because I just couldn't take the stress of a five hour round journey. We've spoken a lot on the phone and he assures me he's drug and cigarette free... However I'm now well versed with transferring money into his prison account after her borrowed baccy etc 🙄

He's going to be on licensed tag (I think that's what it's called) until October so I'm hoping he'll behave and has learnt his lesson and it's not just words I want to hear. I'm also hoping it won't be splashed in the local rags again because that was bloody mortifying for all of us the first time around!

Anyway I'm rambling. I do hope your daughter learns her lesson this time around and starts to make some positive changes. Weed and coke have got an awful lot to answer for 😕

tinytemper66 · 18/05/2018 17:08

Sluttybutty ♥️💐x

Original poster
drinkswineoutofamug · 19/05/2018 08:25

Sluttybutty, it's horrible isn't it , do kids these days not realise the pain and heart ache they cause parents? I was a git when growing up, but never this bad. Dropping off her stuff today then packing for my holiday

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Original poster
drinkswineoutofamug · 19/05/2018 19:54

Took her stuff but couldn't give it her as we weren't on a visit. She's phoned , sounded like she's at a holiday camp. They can't smoke there anymore so she's been given an e cig . Will see if I can get a visit in before we go to drop her stuff off. But she understands that if we can't she won't get it till June. The prison give donated clothes so it's not like she will be in a sack.

OP posts:
tinytemper66 · 20/05/2018 01:44

I am worried about my son tonight. He was not allowed in to a pub in town and even when I went to vouch for him they refused as he looked under 25-he is in his 30s.
He shouted at me in the street saying it was my fault as he had no ID.
He calmed down and I took him to another place he has frequented.
My husband and I went to our local where my son is well liked and plays for their pool team, despite his disabilities.
He joined us but we could see something was wrong. He said he lost his iPod.
We questioned him when we got home but he says he hasn't contacted the girl. However something is amiss and now o can't sleep and am worried sick.

Original poster
drinkswineoutofamug · 20/05/2018 10:29

Why is it your fault he has no ID? He's either been silly, up to no good or just stress if he's lost his iPod. Don't stress about it too much.

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tinytemper66 · 20/05/2018 12:13

Because it is easy to blame me I suppose. He can't drive and has no valid passport. This is why I think we should have ID cards myself.
If he bothers to get up I will help him organise photos for a PASS ID card.
I think he is sulking in his room as he realises how silly he has been.
Thanks for reading x