Irish mn'ers, how much can you relate to UK mumsnetters?

[Anotherdayanotherdollar]

I read a lot of different threads on here, and recently I have come across so many issues/practices that I think just don't happen in Ireland. Now, I could be completely off the mark here, obviously there's local/cultural differences everywhere!

I don't know any parents who attend childrens birthday parties with their children (unless family etc),

I'm not aware of any dads who work "compressed hours" to care for their children. Although I know a lot of parents who work opposite shifts I suppose.

Funerals and the culture and practices surrounding death are all very different.

I don't have an abundance of parks/softplay/childrens activities nearby. If I did I'm sure they'd be too expensive to just pop in after school etc. 2 within 40 mins drive of me are €8-10 per hr.

Most children just go to their local school (baptism barrier dependent)

New mums here all seem to be inundated with visitors in hospital after their babies are born. I've never come across a new mum who isn't having visitors for the first week/fortnight etc so that they can bond.

Just a few examples there. So, are these typical observations of Irish people? Or just where I live/work? I know that local amenities are dependent on funding etc but it just seems that despite our close proximity to the UK there are big differences in day to day life.
I hope that all comes across ok. I'm just curious really.

Im always on time btw.

I think some people in the UK also don't know/forget that Ireland never had an industrial revolution so maybe that's why things seem a bit 'parochial' to them. The infrastructure outside of Dublin really isn't great - lack of motorways between other major cities/poor rail routes/questionable bus services. However for a very young country I think Ireland is doing great. I really miss it sometimes.

I've always assumed that a more laid back approach to life was a symptom of living in a place with nice weather - because who can be bothered moving anywhere in a hurry when it is hot?

But based on this thread either a) I have been massively misinformed about the climate in Ireland or b) I am incorrect.

Having said that - I always try my best to be on time (never early though - I will wait outside in the car, rather than turn up before I'm expected) - literally none of my friends ever bother. I think punctuality might be dying out in Britain.

Another Irish person who is scrupulously on time for everything. I actually get v stressed out if late for something. I don't think we are quite as rare a breed as is being made out!

I would consider someone sitting outside my house in their car to be a little bit stalkerish.! Just come in if you’re early! My MIL does that and it freaks me out. But she’s English. Is that an English thing? I never met anyone else who did that.

I also think sometimes MN creates a false sense of what's normal - at least - stuff crops up here all the time that I've never encountered in Ireland, England or Scotland and I've lived in all three places! Maybe I'm just not middle class enough for the totally mad helicopter parenting, or the weird thing where visitors are bad after baby is born etc.

Although I do know two Irish dads who both work part time hours to do their share of childcare. I didn't think that was that unusual?

When I worked in London in the 90's the company I worked for were aghast that the Irish company they were dealing with had all left the office to watch a World Cup match

The motorway system in Ireland is really good now.

Driving to places like Cork and Galway from Dublin is quicker than taking the train now.

Most places are very well connected by road.

That's what I found. Public transport in general is hit and miss. The commuter lines in Dublin are fine, but totally oversubscribed. An underground Metro is on the cards in the next few years there too. About twenty years too late! But better late than never.

Yep, driving to/from Dublin is fine. Driving Cork-Limerick isn't fine. Or Cork to Galway. Limerick to Galway is okay for most of the way but still not a full motorway. That's my point.

Look, a lot of the traditions and attitudes described on here would reflect the childhoods of many English who grew up in the 70s and 80s. When we go to Ireland, it feels like time has stood still, Ireland feels less evolved and rather parochial

FFS.

Slanetylor I’d definitely sit in the car or drive around for a bit, rather than be early!

That's what I found. Public transport in general is hit and miss. The commuter lines in Dublin are fine, but totally oversubscribed. An underground Metro is on the cards in the next few years there too. About twenty years too late! But better late than never

Donegal doesn't even have a railway system. No wonder they're called 'the forgotten County'.

When I worked in London in the 90's the company I worked for were aghast that the Irish company they were dealing with had all left the office to watch a World Cup match

If that was 1994, then it was purely sour grapes - as Ireland got to the world cup that year, and England didn't.
We might not go as far as actually leaving work - but every office (and a lot of schools) will stop work to watch the England matches. And Non-England matches will always be on in the background somewhere.

When I was at school, there was always one of the geography teachers sitting in their massive stock cupboard with some kind of sport on the telly - whilst lessons were going on in the adjoining classroom. They'd keep popping out to update us.

Well, at least we can be stalkerish freaks together margot or just really uptight.

I'd be cross if someone told me they were arriving at 8:00 and they arrived at 7:50. I might not be dressed!

Are you Irish? I don’t have many Irish friends who’d show up 10 minutes early accidentally.

West of Scotland here.

• my kids are too young to have had a party yet but from my friends children’s parties mine have been invited to it’s varies. If it’s in the house 1 parent tends to stay (and they congregate in the kitchen) but if it’s elsewhere they drop the kids off and pick them up.

• I don’t know any dads who work compressed hours either. My OH is mon-fri and I’m shift work so we just juggle things.

• Funerals here differ but in my family on both sides we bring the family members body home for a few days, everyone comes round to say their goodbyes and chat to said person. I remember when my granda died, he was in the coffin in the bedroom and me, my sister and all our cousins were sat in the room with snacks just having a good old blether to him.

• there are a few parks within walking distance from me but they’re not very big and they’re beside busy roads. If we want to take the kids out to the park we go together and have to drive to somewhere. There’s a soft play which is a FORTUNE but there are things like bookbug, messy play and toddler groups. I just can’t get to them as I find it impossible to get out the house!

• we go to whichever school is in the catchment area normally but you can apply to others, I’ve never heard of anyone NOT getting into a school they’ve put as their first choice though.

• In the hospital I had a ton of visitors which I found really stressful, at home it was the same and I had a bit of a meltdown after about a week (ended up in hospital with a suspected PE at the same time) and after that we had a bit of a ban of people coming by for a week after. We have twins and they’re the first kids on both sides so literally people I didn’t even know were coming by!

Are you Irish? I don’t have many Irish friends who’d show up 10 minutes early accidentally.

No, I'm English - and all my friends are always late. As in - won't have even left the house by the time they are meant to be there, sort of late.
But traffic is unpredictable. If you set out 'with plenty of time' and then get a clear run through - you can easy end up at someone's house with ten minutes to spare. And you have to set out with plenty of time if you don't want to be late. It's a minefield

I grew up in Ireland and agree with one of the main differences being the enormous funeral traditions (especially Catholic ones ) I was there recently for my aunt's . The non stop flow of kind , well meaning people to my cousins' house was exhausting for them . People are well meaning but , sometimes, don't get the hint that's it's time to leave.
I prefer living here as I am a private person and find the casual approach to popping into neighbour's houses difficult.
Irish people are friendly but I tend to develop better long lasting friendships with English people as it's a slower process and ultimately more genuine.

Yeah soft play, god. I was a bit taken aback when first on MN at the amount of soft play people went to. There are very few here and they're exorbitant and you have to drive ages to get to them.

The UK seems full of indoor things for kids. Trampolining places and such. Quite jealous of that. Here there's very little other than the GAA to entertain kids outside school. Thank god for Cúl Camps.

I'm always interested in the difference between how unconnected mumsnet people are with their families in comparison with people I know in daily life in Ireland. Kids leaving home, even at 16, maybe visiting a few times a year, everyone except underage children being a massive inconvenience if they ring, intolerance if families speaking out of turn by saying anything that rises above the level of casual acquaintances.

One other thing about funerals - calling the reception after a wake. That's really odd to me. Why wake someone you've just buried?

Pros and cons about being very connected to a large wider family for me . ...pros are , great relationships with cousins. Cons include dominant, opinionated aunt's who feel entitled to say what they like just because they are related to you. They get away with it a lot of the time and , in my experience, can be very hurtful. But I give as good as I get 😂

Not true for me anyway that children don’t go to Protestant funerals - both of mine were at my DM’s and I had reason to attend one myself as a child. Certainly quite sober occasions and quite “stiff upper lip” imo.

I think everyone in Ireland has a dominant, opinionated aunt and an auntie Mary and uncle John.

@MrsDustyBunny sometimes I think people get confused about that term. If they're not used to wakes and they've only heard the term in passing they might assume it's the reception because they know it's a gathering of people in relation to a funeral. I don't know anyone in real life who actually calls the reception the wake but I seem to come across it on here a lot.

I love my extended family. My cousins and I grew up like sisters. My aunts I'd consider friends more than relatives. It's mostly my Mum's side of the family and it's lovely to know there are other people out there who'd step in to help you at a minutes notice or, even without that, are just good company and fun to have around.

Queuing seems the biggest difference to me. I can’t handle the queues at theme parks in England. In legoland, the staff seemed to purposely cause queues by doing everything in their power to prevent progress. They would stare open- mouthed while a ride was running but then when it was time to load people, they’d have to get a drink of water, a laugh with their work mates etc. No one seemed a bit bothered.
I can queue when it’s legitimate but not when someone is being inept.