Irish mn'ers, how much can you relate to UK mumsnetters?

[Anotherdayanotherdollar]

I read a lot of different threads on here, and recently I have come across so many issues/practices that I think just don't happen in Ireland. Now, I could be completely off the mark here, obviously there's local/cultural differences everywhere!

I don't know any parents who attend childrens birthday parties with their children (unless family etc),

I'm not aware of any dads who work "compressed hours" to care for their children. Although I know a lot of parents who work opposite shifts I suppose.

Funerals and the culture and practices surrounding death are all very different.

I don't have an abundance of parks/softplay/childrens activities nearby. If I did I'm sure they'd be too expensive to just pop in after school etc. 2 within 40 mins drive of me are €8-10 per hr.

Most children just go to their local school (baptism barrier dependent)

New mums here all seem to be inundated with visitors in hospital after their babies are born. I've never come across a new mum who isn't having visitors for the first week/fortnight etc so that they can bond.

Just a few examples there. So, are these typical observations of Irish people? Or just where I live/work? I know that local amenities are dependent on funding etc but it just seems that despite our close proximity to the UK there are big differences in day to day life.
I hope that all comes across ok. I'm just curious really.

One other thing about funerals - calling the reception after a wake. That's really odd to me. Why wake someone you've just buried?

The wake is before the funeral - traditionally it was the night before the funeral and members of the family or friends stayed awake through the night so the body wouldn't be alone. It is actually a lovely tradition. After the funeral is a reception or lunch usually.

Just going by MN, people in England seem to send their children to bed way earlier than Irish people (or people in the US).

One of the things I still find it hard to adjust to in the US is that if you invite people for 7 pm at 7 pm they will all arrive - instead of 10 or 15 minutes later.

Things I’ve noticed since I moved back to Ireland...
3 is the aspirational figure for a family (where I live)

Kids have a little more time to mature before they go up to secondary school (met a 13 year old in 6th class today)

People take no offence if their kids are not invited to a wedding.

Safeguarding is not as much of a thing in comparison to my old LA job

People marry and have their three kids later. It would be unusual to be mid twenties and comfortably settled.

People breastfeed much more than I had heard.

People expect visitors more (where I am). A midwife neighbour did a ‘nobody come near us for 4 weeks we are babymooning’ and was to quote DM ‘the talk of the parish’. Same neighbour congratulated herself on successful breastfeeding with ‘gold boobies’ and ‘silver boobies’ declarations on fb after 6 and 12 months. In case anyone had missed she was breastfeeding. notions

We have a very high awareness of news/events/politics in the U.K. (access to British TV) .

Oh yes! Getting insulted about wedding invites seems very alien to me. Kids not closely related to bride and groom would be very rarely related.

I am always punctional. I suffered due to my parents lateness for everything , as a child. My English husband is always late. His parents were obsessively punctional 😀
I wish my Aunts were nicer , but , they are quite embittered due to an oppressive, catholic upbringing which seems to still have a hold on them . My generation has happily cast Catholicism aside .

Agree, @noseoftralee.

Irish people are very clued in to things that are happening in Ireland and elsewhere. But to be fair, the country is very highly educated now. And there is no such thing as student loans or anything like that, and grants for disadvantaged. That is the best investment a Government can make for their country.

A very educated society with views on everything, not insular either which is kinda strange given Ireland's position on the Western fringes of the Atlantic.

Well when you’ve finished seeing what the neighbours are up to it’s nice to see what everyone else is up to...

Someone up thread said that Irish people will ask loads of personal questions but tell you nothing! I think that’s very Irish.

Judging by some threads on here, EVERYONE is concerned about their neighbours, be it noise, kids making noise, hedges, fences, parking and so on.

I don't think that level of angst really applies in Ireland, and if it does, people can talk to one another about it. There might not be an optimum resolution, but it is done openly.

I don't understand why they have such a long summer break in Ireland. My neices and nephews started their hols on Monday (non exam years ) and won't go back to school until September .
It was understandable when children were expected to help on the farm. But that's no longer applicable.

Irish school holidays are great!

Less angst about them too, esp when kids get to secondary school. IME teenage kids are largely left to their own devices (no bad thing).

Well primary schools don't finish until end of june so it's 8ish weeks. Secondary depends on what year you're in
Summer wouldn't be traditional farm helping time anyway, it would be spring for lambing/calving or august/September for harvest time. Summer is for going to the big and harvesting turf I'm sure there's plenty of young people who help out on the farm during summer holidays. Farms in Ireland are generally smaller than the UK so they wouldn't be huge operations with loads of workers. Just family and maybe 1/2 outside workers so every pair of hands is needed. I miss my long school holidays. How long are they in the UK? They seem a similar length in Scotland.

Bog not big!

I think the long holidays work less well for low attaining students and those with SEN.
Also, it's fine if you can afford to send your child to the Gaeltacht or other such summer activities, bit for lower income families the long summer break is a struggle.

But the holidays are a break from school. Not an opportunity for other learning. I do know that some children will spend it surrounded by books and going on trips and others won’t. But it’s a time to relax, bond with family and have fun. I hope most children would find some of that.

The working parents I know there dread it . Their kids are either indoors in bed or on their devices...and the weather is usually dire !

Same neighbour congratulated herself on successful breastfeeding with ‘gold boobies’ and ‘silver boobies’ declarations on fb after 6 and 12 months. In case anyone had missed she was breastfeeding

hilarious!

The long holidays from school is magic.

Children are not in the Gradgrind era in Ireland. Deal with it.

Irish in England here.

Funerals are a big difference, as everyone mentioned. In England, my BIL’s partner’s sister died suddenly. So my SIL’s sister. When I asked about funeral arrangements and who was going from our (husband’s) family, it turned out none of us were. Just my SIL and my BIL. Still blows my mind to this day. SIL has been part of the family for years, so it really felt to me that we should support her.

In contrast, when my brother’s partner’s brother died suddenly in Ireland, I was on a flight home the next day. And my siblings and I did everything we could do make life a bit easier for my SIL and her family over those days and months.

Brits are great at queuing. Irish people are not.

Also I’ve noticed the difference in breastfeeding. All my English friends and colleagues have tried breastfeeding when they’ve had a baby, at least for a bit. But I’d say only half my Irish friends who have children have.

Long school holidays were brilliant!

Deal with what ? I live in England. My friends and relatives think they are too long. The kids get bored . I've not heard it described as magical before .
I used babysit for neighbours when I was growing up there in the 80s, but we were noted too.
As I've said before SEN kids really suffer .

Aer Lingus gave my mum a nominally priced air ticket to get back for her sister's funeral and half price for me to accompany her. This was in the 90s.

Well Irish people LOVE to moan. Publicly we must say that the long holidays are miserable. But on an anonymous board we can say they are magical! Of course they are. Not for children with SEN maybe. Although they do get meagre extra tuition in July, they need more.

Well, one good effect of the lengthy Irish school vac is less crazily expensive bunching of flights, premium cost holiday rentals etc that you get when an entire population tries to take summer holidays in the same short period.

Oh yes I forgot about July provision. That’s a good scheme and should be extended.

Also re school/holidays: no nonsense like parents being fined for taking their children on holiday during school time. In spite of the 2-3 month summer holidays.

My family are catholics from Co. Fermanagh, but I grew up in the north of England, and have lived much of my adult life in the South East.

In my experience, Ireland, Wales, Scotland and the north of England have a great deal in common culturally, with some obvious exceptions, eg funerals as discussed.

It’s the predominantly middle-class, culturally Protestant south of England which is so very different to the rest of these islands. There is an endemic snobbishness, class, code and status obsession which prermeates almost all aspects of educational, social and professional life. People are sorted into tribes depending on where they and their parents went to school. The tribe to which you belong is obvious as soon as you open your mouth and it is almost impossible to break out of those tribes.