How can it be THIS difficult to live in the south?!

[CharlotteB94]

So I don’t think this is going to be a popular post. I’m 12 weeks pregnant with first baby and last night husband and I were talking budgets as we are trying to buy our first home out of London, currently renting in London.

I would just like to say we are working in industries that don’t exist or are far lower paid outside London and when I say that I mean we also don’t want to go and live somewhere miles and miles from family and friends where opportunities for career growth are limited. We want some form of quality of life.

We have both worked extremely hard for years and built good careers and salaries, and are buying without any parental help or inheritance and have managed to save while renting for years which of course is a feat in itself.

Even with this in mind, we are finding the house prices anywhere within commuting distance of London, safe and reasonably desirable to bring up a family, absolutely prohibitive when I’m about to go onto SMP. I am talking mortgage repayments of £3k a month. It’s really crushing to have worked and saved so hard and to realise that we are going to have to buy a place that isn’t suitable or what we wanted.

in addition, I wanted to highlight that in this current crisis, people like us who have higher salaries, get absolutely nothing from the government: no child benefit, no funded hours, nothing. Based on the budget calcations we did yesterday we would be living hand to mouth each month saving nothing while I’m off and hardly any better off when I go back to work with these crippling mortgage payments.

I don’t know what age gap people are putting in between kids when they have no help from government as we simply couldn’t ever afford for me to be off work or for a house to live in while paying £40k a year in childcare for 2. This is based on my husband being on over £100k a year. It is WILD.

i honestly don’t know how the system is so broken!! it’s depressing being pregnant for the first time in this world having tried everything to make a successful life for our kids and still being in this position. I just cannot understand at all how people are coping. I wish I could leave the UK but family are here.

that’s all I wanted to say, any thoughts welcome.

Lots of people here in Southampton commute daily to London

My 2 bed terrace is valued at around 230k, 10 min bus journey to station.

Your expectations are much too high

Just lower your expectations

You could buy a one or two bed flat and move up the ladder after a couple of years.

Most people have to compromise in some way when they buy their first property.

Or keep renting.

I also don’t agree that your mortgage needs to be 3k a month to live in London. You haven’t looked into it enough. You do have options and no reason to complain really to be honest.

Exactly.
OP you’re making it sound as though there is not quality of life anywhere other than London.
The quality of your life is what you make it to be, anywhere in the world.
It’s an attitude. Not a bank balance

I think people who are complaining about OP are missing the point. yes of course she is not living hand to mouth and I feel so sorry for people that do. but people on 100k who have to support a family with rent and childcare are not rich (assuming no help). I'm sorry but that's a fact

However yes you're basically going to be priced out of London if you want a nice family home. You need to think about commuting out but now is not a good time to buy with interest rates. I would stay put renting for 1-2 years and get a sense of where to go before looking. Yes housing is seen as a ladder in this country and not a forever home, but you do want to be sure you like the area

oh and I was referring to London obviously only.

We are an hour from London on the train (Winchester), we had to buy a terraced ex-council house, as we wanted to live in a nice village and that’s all we could afford whilst still actually living. Zero financial help here either. I would love a character detatched home with a garage/driveway/massive garden, but it’s taken us 6 years here to stand a chance of having that next year! You may have to lower your expectations of area/house type for a bit x it’s crap but it’s also a majority of people’s reality

It's crazy that your husband earns a salary that puts him in the top 5 percent, and you have your salary on top to add to the pot. You've done all the right things in life. As you say, the system is broken.... and it really is... The Government and central banks have caused an insane bubble that is going to be catastrophic when it all collapses. To add, this is a global problem, not just UK.

My thoughts exactly.

DB and his wife are selling their flat (his wife bought with her DB though, so he gets moreorless half of the price) and buying a house in an area which they wouldn’t normally have considered but where nursery prices are half of where they live in Hackney. It was either that or move further out and as me/my DM can help out with school drop off/afterschool care they wouldn’t get that if they moved further out.

If you don’t want to or can’t afford to pay what you’ve put in your OP then you have to consider cheaper areas and commute into London.

Depends where in London though.

Actually I had a brief look, there’s a bit of choice and certain areas. But you can’t really afford to be too choosy.

@Soowoo no you won't, not 3 beds for 300k! Not anywhere in Colchester you'd actually want to live, greenstead estate maybe but OP isn't going to want to live there.
400-450k will get you nicer options but then you've got to get into the station, parking expensive or impossible, an hour to Liverpool Street then to wherever OP works, season ticket just to Liverpool Street is just over £600 a month plus tube on top, which is just money down the train, better to live closer and throw that money at a mortgage.

Move out of London. Down to Kent

Not Sevenoaks as costly but towns around there

Good commute links to London

Can get 3 bed semi for £350/400

£3k a month mortgage sounds insane

What price of house are you looking at for that

Actually you’re right, DB was looking at houses in certain parts of eg Bromley and surrounding areas and call me snobbish but no way would I live there unless I had to do so. Especially with children.

Originally from London and most of my family and friends had to move in the 90s to purchase housing they could afford and that meant Kent and beyond, if the move was to the south. It is all relative and that's why I hate the term affordable, it is only affordable if you have the month that fits the cost! I now live in NE Hampshire and a great many of those I work with, including myself, have to live in one area and then commute into local towns for work, some travelling over 70 miles each way to work, in order to be able to find a job that pays a decent wage. DH has a colleague that does a 2 hour journey each way to do a job that fits his skill set, so he works, wife at home covering the childcare, in housing that just fits into their budget. I have a colleague that has just got out of paying 80% of her salary for childcare, in order to be able to hold on to her decent job, which believe me is not in the mega bucks range, but decent for what employers are willing to pay in this area of the world. It really is not a sustainable model for life is it?

But the OP said commutable to London. Looking within London itself there are 3 bed houses for way less than 3000 a month when mortgaged. If you extend the search to flats vast areas are affordable.

Most people don't start with a 4 bed detached in a desirable area. The OP like almost everyone else, will need to cut her cloth accordingly. If she wants a big house it will be either a long commute or a dodgy area. If she wants a nice area it will be a smaller property or a huge commute. If she wants nice area short commute it will have to be a small flat.

Once they have built up equity they can look to move to a big place/ better school catchment etc.

Ruling out entire boroughs is ridiculous almost all areas have good bits and not so good bits.

We have done it by living in a very cheap damp rented house. I don't think many people but a house while on maternity leave.

I just did a quick Google and found this 🤷‍♀️

These ones?

I can hear and feel your frustration OP.

Buying a house while on maternity leave would be unusual I think.

Move out to somewhere not toooo expensive, carry on renting for a few years and perhaps your salaries may go up a bit in the meantime. Then buy a house when you return to work, and make it a small one to get on the ladder rather than a dream one, or one you can do work to improve.

We did just this: moved out of London when pregnant, rented then bought. Very common tale. We chose Tonbridge, couldn't be happier.

@Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain
What don’t you like about Bromley? It’s a large borough with good and not so good areas, like everywhere else.

OP have you seen that 5K deposit mortgage with Yorkshire building society? Not sure how strict the criteria is yet but was planning on calling next week…..

I feel for you.
I know loads of people in this position.
In the good old days most families even with a good income got working and child tax credits support, everyone got child benefit and cost of living was lower. The conservatives removed all support from the middle class earners, cut taxes to the super rich, ran public services to the ground and then tried to convince people that it was the few people still on some sort of income support that thy were the problem (even though the majority are working hard in crappy jobs).
Incredible PR move. I don’t know why anyone buys it.

You do know the OP hasn’t been back for a week and a half? 😂