How can it be THIS difficult to live in the south?!

[CharlotteB94]

So I don’t think this is going to be a popular post. I’m 12 weeks pregnant with first baby and last night husband and I were talking budgets as we are trying to buy our first home out of London, currently renting in London.

I would just like to say we are working in industries that don’t exist or are far lower paid outside London and when I say that I mean we also don’t want to go and live somewhere miles and miles from family and friends where opportunities for career growth are limited. We want some form of quality of life.

We have both worked extremely hard for years and built good careers and salaries, and are buying without any parental help or inheritance and have managed to save while renting for years which of course is a feat in itself.

Even with this in mind, we are finding the house prices anywhere within commuting distance of London, safe and reasonably desirable to bring up a family, absolutely prohibitive when I’m about to go onto SMP. I am talking mortgage repayments of £3k a month. It’s really crushing to have worked and saved so hard and to realise that we are going to have to buy a place that isn’t suitable or what we wanted.

in addition, I wanted to highlight that in this current crisis, people like us who have higher salaries, get absolutely nothing from the government: no child benefit, no funded hours, nothing. Based on the budget calcations we did yesterday we would be living hand to mouth each month saving nothing while I’m off and hardly any better off when I go back to work with these crippling mortgage payments.

I don’t know what age gap people are putting in between kids when they have no help from government as we simply couldn’t ever afford for me to be off work or for a house to live in while paying £40k a year in childcare for 2. This is based on my husband being on over £100k a year. It is WILD.

i honestly don’t know how the system is so broken!! it’s depressing being pregnant for the first time in this world having tried everything to make a successful life for our kids and still being in this position. I just cannot understand at all how people are coping. I wish I could leave the UK but family are here.

that’s all I wanted to say, any thoughts welcome.

You said OP’s husband earned 4 x what you and your partner earn as a couple. Guess you were lying.

I wasn’t lying, it’s was a typo!! If we were on £12500 each and working full time, that would be wellllll below minimum wage? Common sense woudlnt to a miss would it?

Sadly if you earn below £40k a year you are taking more out of services than you pay in tax.. Vast majority of people in the uk do not cover the costs and that is the failure of the government, whose policies have meant years of sluggish economic growth and low wages.

Its not that Op's household income is high, they are moderate, it's just that everyone else's salaries are very low. We are returning to an era where only those in the top 1% can enjoy a decent standard of living. You see it first in the south but it will spread eventually as house prices in the north catch up with the south. OP isn't top 1%, that is the problem, she is maybe top 5%. So she is in the same boat as the rest of us.

You can work full time and earn below minimum wage if you’re self-employed. You’re just annoyed you got called out for exaggerating.

OP isn't top 1%, that is the problem, she is maybe top 5%. So she is in the same boat as the rest of us.

How can everyone else be in the top 5%? That’s not the same boat as someone in the bottom 50%

I think you are missing my point. we pay tax on our income, we both work full time. It goes without saying someone who earns £100k a year will put more into the system with their taxes, I’m not disputing that. What I am saying is I think it’s pretty poor that someone who does earn that sort of money is claiming they will live hand to mouth and annoyed that they do not receive £96 a month in child benefit? They probably wouldn’t even notice that going in, where as we would.

Im not self employed. I put a 4 instead of 2 and you can’t edit the post. Please forgive me! You’re obviously just trying to wind up me. I just think you’re abit of an idiot sat at home, bored, waiting for your Waitrose delivery.

You can edit your comments.

You can also edit *abit.

Rightmove gives 11 pages of results for 3+ bedroom houses for 450k or less in London. There can't be something wrong with all of them.

Agree with others that you probably need to find acceptance in the fact that the house you thought would be in your reach now isn't it, at least not without making major sacrifices and stretching yourselves to the limit.

We are on lower income but decent above average and in a similar position as are thousands and thousands of others. The house and lifestyle we have worked towards has now been ruled out through such huge increases in cost of living and house prices, whilst salaries are stagnating. I'm working on making my peace with it as I don't want to go through the rest of my life chasing the rainbow and feeling dissatisfied. Nor do I want to burn myself out completely under the false pretence that working harder and longer will achieve these things. Life is too short for that.

What i meant is that she earns below the threshold for a couple in London to buy a 'desirable family home', pay childcare fees for two and a nice lifestyle with zero financial worries and yet fund this through earnings

She is in the same boat as the rest of us who have to compromise somewhat on this vision of middleclass family life depicted in Motherland. She has to buy a share of freehold maisonette in zone 3/4, opt for one child or an age gap, live in a poorer area or accept penury for a few years with her massive mortgage and massive childcare fees.

Dh and i are top 6% according to ifs and when we conceive, we would raise our child in a flat and we also spent our 20s saving while sharing a 2 up 2 down with his mother and sisters to get to this stage. No car as well. But we will have breathing room which is worth more to me than a tick box exercise of middle class must haves. But if i did want to live out that fantasy we would have to earn more and we earn too little for that.

You've mentioned 'no help from the government' twice. What makes you think you should be entitled to any help from them??

i mean:.. why does the government help with ANYTHING?

The property ladder is called a ladder for a reason. You are meant to start when you are young and dont mind a tiny studio in a grotty area. You build up equity in that etc etc then eventually after 10-15 years you have enough to buy a family home.

It took me 16 years from when I bought my first flat to buying a 'proper' family home.

You can stay in a one bed flat until a dc is 2 quite easily.

Home counties property prices are mental.
You would think moving out of London would afford you a Palace but lucky to find a 3 bed terrace for £450k in my commuter belt.

I quite agree. These days, everyone seems to want their forever home straight away instead of starting off in a flat and working their way up to a family home.

Definitely agree with this.

Too many home influencer type accounts on social media making people believe they should be going straight in at a 5 bed 600k house.

Possibly also a big factor is that people aren't starting young anymore. They are well into their mid late 30s buying first house and starting a family. And as such, past the age where they are happy putting up a slight shabby starter home for a few years.

Most people, myself included wouldn't necessarily enter into such a huge financial commitment whilst on maternity leave. Although we had a good deposit and savings I wouldn't buy when I was on mat leave. Not only did I not want the upheaval, I didn't want to rush buying somewhere. So we waited until our finances recovered following mat leave. Surely that's what most people do?
Buying is all about compromise, I lived and worked in London for years. When buying wirh my now ex we moved to the outskirts of London. When we separated I downsized with the kids to a small house in Kent. It's still reasonably priced here and commutable to London.

Isn't it quite expensive to do it that way with stamp duty... In London you kinda have no choice but i can see why people would minimise their moves..

What are your expectations as a 1st time buyer? Noone starts with their forever home.

Here, Toddington, a nice, safe village I'm Bedfordshire, 45 mins on a train from London St Pancras. A 3 bed house with a garden, 375k, monthly payment of 2k.

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/145410419?utm_campaign=property-details&utm_content=buying&utm_medium=sharing&utm_source=copytoclipboard#/&channel=RES_BU

Living hand to mouth and not saving while you are on mat leave is the standard, most people use their savings during this time, rather than grow them.

Age gap between kids- 4 years in our case, as we couldn't afford 2 lots of fees. Again, I think it's the reality for many.

I was looking at houses for £500,000
in some areas of London yesterday. None of them lovely but good enough to do something decent with. I understand what you’re saying but I suspect most of us live in really average houses so I’m just curious what your expectations are? I have worked so hard for over 35 years in several careers (currently 50-55 hours a week), I probably earn less than half what you’re on based on your figures but I am in a two up two down with a loft conversion. I definitely ‘deserve’ a bigger home based on how hard I have worked, my life choices and the fact I have given a lot back in my working life but that’s life !

Op

You can’t afford to buy a house where you want to so you have a few options that lots of other people decide on. As Kirtie and Phil say, compromise.

Buy a smaller place - 2 bed and built up equity to move.
Move further out of London
Change jobs and move far away from London.

Commuting from Portsmouth, where you can buy a half decent 3 bed semi for £300k. No need for a £3k a month mortgage - can either of you then work Pt to save on child care?

Living near family is great but not essential - FT and family days out for visits are great.

We earn a combined salary of £70k, no child benefit (or any other benefit). 3 bed cost £370k (mortgage is £1700) it’s hard but manageable. I think you need to consider those less desirable areas & be grateful for what you have.

I've just seen flats advertised in Chesham for £120K. I'm presuming it's shared ownership but it's commutable into London. Do consider options on the outskirts of London. The quality of living makes it worth the longer commute.

Try to look for a pocket of lovely in an area that's not so great, Im saying somewhere that doesn't come up on a 'commuter town Surrey' Google search. We live in the first road across the Surrey border. 10 minute drives from lovely towns, Farm shops, all of that. But our actual highstreet is just normal with a few nice restaurants. We couldnt afford a 2 bed flat in the town we love that's a few minutes drive away but have a 3 bed house where we are.