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Cost of living

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Original poster

Cost of living

117 replies

Blush301 · 27/11/2023 15:33

Looking for a bit of commiseration and wondering if others are experiencing the same. My husband and I live in Bath (admittedly not the cheapest place but certainly not the most expensive) have a joint income of around £100k and have one child in nursery 3 days a week. We live a relatively comfortable life compared to others but certainly not extravagant by any means. We have takeaway coffees and lunch or brunch out a couple times a month max, but that’s it really. At the end of the month by the time we pay all our bills and food and any other house maintenance costs we have nothing left or are in debt and have no savings. I am terrified of putting our heating on for too long due to the cost so we are all sitting here freezing most of the day since we work from home. Also just had an email from our nursery that the daily rate is going up by 12% in January which will add an extra £100 a month to the bill. We will have to remortgage next year which will probably add another several hundred per month. I would like to have another child but at this rate just don’t see how it’s feasible. I am constantly worrying about money and it’s having a strain on our relationship. It seems all of our peer group have much more money than us, despite having similar jobs and in a lot of cases the wife not working full time- expensive holidays abroad, building house extensions etc. just frustrating and depressing that we both work hard, have good jobs but can barely afford to get by. Is anyone else in the same boat!?

OP posts:
2dogsandabudgie · 27/11/2023 15:41

It's difficult to comment without knowing what your outgoings are or how big your mortgage is. Those people you know who can afford holidays etc may have a smaller mortgage, may only have one car instead of 2, may have family to look after children etc.

I would imagine your childcare costs are expensive, but I would try and think that they are only for a few years and once your child starts school it will be easier.

Dacadactyl · 27/11/2023 15:50

How much is your take home and then how much is mortgage, nursery fees and council tax?

aswarmofmidges · 27/11/2023 15:59

Early years have always been hard - although now so many get an inheritance hand up that it feels less fair than when everyone that you knew was in the same boat

Is there any way to downsize when your mortgage comes up for renewal ? "Nice" home expectations have gone up a room since I was a child

Gingerkittykat · 27/11/2023 16:05

How old is your child and how long will you be paying nursery for?

vodkaredbullgirl · 27/11/2023 16:14

Can you not use a childminder or family can help out? nursery fees are expensive.

YesIDoJudge · 27/11/2023 17:04

Blush301 · 27/11/2023 15:33

Looking for a bit of commiseration and wondering if others are experiencing the same. My husband and I live in Bath (admittedly not the cheapest place but certainly not the most expensive) have a joint income of around £100k and have one child in nursery 3 days a week. We live a relatively comfortable life compared to others but certainly not extravagant by any means. We have takeaway coffees and lunch or brunch out a couple times a month max, but that’s it really. At the end of the month by the time we pay all our bills and food and any other house maintenance costs we have nothing left or are in debt and have no savings. I am terrified of putting our heating on for too long due to the cost so we are all sitting here freezing most of the day since we work from home. Also just had an email from our nursery that the daily rate is going up by 12% in January which will add an extra £100 a month to the bill. We will have to remortgage next year which will probably add another several hundred per month. I would like to have another child but at this rate just don’t see how it’s feasible. I am constantly worrying about money and it’s having a strain on our relationship. It seems all of our peer group have much more money than us, despite having similar jobs and in a lot of cases the wife not working full time- expensive holidays abroad, building house extensions etc. just frustrating and depressing that we both work hard, have good jobs but can barely afford to get by. Is anyone else in the same boat!?

Just imagine what life is like for those on benefits op.

I'm sorry but I don't understand how people with a household income of 100 grand are stuggling. There will be things you can cut op.

overtheover · 27/11/2023 17:11

Could you get a a more modest property? Less to clean too!

cakesque · 27/11/2023 17:12

Move somewhere cheaper. Bath is v expensive so your lunch out there will be more expensive than elsewhere. Try somewhere like a rough bit of Bristol.

sosomcsoso · 27/11/2023 17:13

Household income of £100k and can't afford the heating on?

You either have massive bills or are spending badly.

We have a household income of £27k, 2 adults and 2 teenagers, so really 4 people

We have no savings but we do have the heating on.

overtheover · 27/11/2023 17:14

Plus your peers may have had inheritances, help from parents, living on credit, there are so many variables so I would never try to keep up with the Joneses! Life is so much better when you don't!

cakesque · 27/11/2023 17:15

I'm also really surprised you're struggling on that income and you really need to assess your outgoings. Are you using the tax free childcare scheme? Is your nursery super fancy?

overtheover · 27/11/2023 17:16

How much is £100,000 after tax ?

jesterdourt · 27/11/2023 17:19

Wage stagnation is a big issue; 100k is the equivalent of 75k in 2015 & 59k in 2005 so your money doesn’t go as far.

overtheover · 27/11/2023 17:23

Do you get regular beauty treatments? I taught myself how to do everything and also invested in a laser hair removal system.

Do you constantly buy clothes or do you invest in timeless pieces like many glam Europeans do?

It may help to look at your spending. There are so many ways that people waste money.

I bring a water bottle out, so that I don't waste money or drinks.

Thatswhy11 · 27/11/2023 17:23

@Dacadactyl is right we need more info. The fact you don't seem to know where your money is going suggests poor money management.

MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel · 27/11/2023 17:24

overtheover · 27/11/2023 17:11

Could you get a a more modest property? Less to clean too!

Of course, the answer is to spend thousands on moving fees, legal fees and stamp duty to help you save money OP.

We have a similar income to you OP and sometimes we have nothing left at the end of the month but I know we spend plenty on a food shop we could cut back on, we have TV subscriptions, a high car payment, take aways, meals out etc. If needs be I know we could spend less, and I work with people living on the breadline so I recognise I'm really lucky.

OP, I know it's worrying but you need to go through every spend and see where you can save.

Fooshufflewickjbannanapants · 27/11/2023 17:24

How much are your takeaway coffees a week? A couple of lattes a week is best part of a tenner if you both have two a week that's nearly £80, I'd invest in a flask

Plumful · 27/11/2023 17:25

It’s the childcare, it’s a killer. Our little one will be getting the funded 30 hours soon and we will be nearly a grand a month better off. How old is yours?

cakesque · 27/11/2023 17:25

MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel · 27/11/2023 17:24

Of course, the answer is to spend thousands on moving fees, legal fees and stamp duty to help you save money OP.

We have a similar income to you OP and sometimes we have nothing left at the end of the month but I know we spend plenty on a food shop we could cut back on, we have TV subscriptions, a high car payment, take aways, meals out etc. If needs be I know we could spend less, and I work with people living on the breadline so I recognise I'm really lucky.

OP, I know it's worrying but you need to go through every spend and see where you can save.

Show quote history

Yes. They clearly can't afford their current lifestyle

Overthebow · 27/11/2023 17:27

@Blush301 what are your outgoings? Is there anything you can cut? It’s just your income is pretty identical to ours, and we also have a DC in nursery 3 days a week and live in an expensive part of the country. We have a lot more left over than you’re suggesting you have, and can afford to eat out and have takeaways every week, save for ourselves and our DC and have just had our second DC.

overtheover · 27/11/2023 17:27

@MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel Yes but in the long run people with eyes bigger than their bellies so to speak would get in touch with reality. Buying houses that they never could afford is common for the ego types!

Moving costs aren't that much. Sensible people don't overstretch themselves trying to impress people that don't give a fuck!

jesterdourt · 27/11/2023 17:28

It’s going to be childcare & a large mortgage which after bills won’t leave much.

overtheover · 27/11/2023 17:29

Childcare doesn't have to be a killer if you live within your means though.

jesterdourt · 27/11/2023 17:29

Yes but in the long run people with eyes bigger than their bellies so to speak would get in touch with reality. Buying houses that they never could afford is common for the ego types!

Back in the real world they probably just wanted secure housing & not to throw money away on rent

jesterdourt · 27/11/2023 17:30

@overtheover

Childcare doesn't have to be a killer if you live within your means though.

Can you explain the above?