Cost of living

[Blush301]

Looking for a bit of commiseration and wondering if others are experiencing the same. My husband and I live in Bath (admittedly not the cheapest place but certainly not the most expensive) have a joint income of around £100k and have one child in nursery 3 days a week. We live a relatively comfortable life compared to others but certainly not extravagant by any means. We have takeaway coffees and lunch or brunch out a couple times a month max, but that’s it really. At the end of the month by the time we pay all our bills and food and any other house maintenance costs we have nothing left or are in debt and have no savings. I am terrified of putting our heating on for too long due to the cost so we are all sitting here freezing most of the day since we work from home. Also just had an email from our nursery that the daily rate is going up by 12% in January which will add an extra £100 a month to the bill. We will have to remortgage next year which will probably add another several hundred per month. I would like to have another child but at this rate just don’t see how it’s feasible. I am constantly worrying about money and it’s having a strain on our relationship. It seems all of our peer group have much more money than us, despite having similar jobs and in a lot of cases the wife not working full time- expensive holidays abroad, building house extensions etc. just frustrating and depressing that we both work hard, have good jobs but can barely afford to get by. Is anyone else in the same boat!?

information for the year to date (for example) is readily available from accounts and can be downloaded and categorised in spreadsheets. No need to start now or 'write things down' the information is probably already there.

BarbaraofSeville I agree, the data is usually there, but is not being used.
The physical act of writing down each transaction I find can help people realise how much they are spending, whereas downloading transactions does not seem to have the same impact. May depend on the individual, so people should do whatever works for them to help them know what is being spent, so they create a budget and stick to it.

Yes all good advice and will definitely update our budget document and see where we could cut down as there are likely to be a lot of small things that add up. We could 100% save money on food, but as I said before buying organic food quality food is important to us, and sainsburys seems to have the best/widest range at reasonable prices (as a full time working mum I just don’t have time to shop around at different places and it wouldn’t be efficient). I do actually meal plan and have very little left at the end of the week. Cleaning products, nappies, wipes etc we buy only non toxic eco friendly, which of course are more expensive. will potty train in the new year so this will cut down some costs too. It is frustrating that to buy food and products that aren’t full of preservatives, chemicals and pesticides you have to spend so much more but hey ho that’s the world we live in unfortunately and probably one for another post! We’ve cut out alcohol, forego takeaways and I make my own lunch to take to work in order to spend a bit more on food. So I guess it’s a matter of priorities ie I’m prioritising higher quality food over potentially saving and having a bit more at the end of the month. But this has been eye opening on just how much less you can spend on food so know I could cut back if needed.

now I know our housing costs are pretty normal, it doesn’t seem like we’d save much by moving and downsizing isn’t practical as we already don’t have enough space as it is.

i think something that would really help is setting aside money each month for bigger costs that come up for house repairs, Xmas etc. does anyone have any recommendations on apps or bank accounts that do this - like
monzo or revolut?

@Blush301 I use the Plum app. It number crunches my bank account each week and takes what it thinks I won't miss. I also have it set to round up for debit card payments. It also has a good rate of interest on its savings accounts. It's worked well for me.

Thanks will check that one out!

Childcare doesn't have to be a killer if you live within your means though

Ha. I paid more for childcare per day when my sons were in nursery than I earned for going to work. And my salary was more than £60k pa. The only way I could have lived within my means would have been to stop working, stop warning, and stop paying for childcare 🙄

I know many of us have had to make cut backs, but it doesn't really sound as if you're struggling. You still have some treats, you have your much loved pet which as you know costs money, your heating bill is 3x ours. £850 is excessive for food - even if you still have to pay for nappies, wipes, want the odd easy thing to cook after work - have to admit we're really good making our food budget stretch, but three adults here can live on £60pw which includes cleaning products, toilet rolls, some toiletries (if any of us want something a bit more fancy we buy it out of our own money) and we certainly don't go hungry.

Op you say you both have separate accounts. So do you have a joint account for joint costs (mortgage, food, nursery , bills etc) or do you pay specific costs each? Is your DH short of money each month?

On the face of it from what you say here, other than your food shopping, which is important to you, you don’t seem to have a particularly affluent or expensive lifestyle considering your household income. Have you actually added up all your costs and worked out where your money is going? You should definitely be able to be comfortable and save a little bit on those housing and childcare costs with 100k income

Start budgeting op to get an honest view of your finances and to manage your money.

Many MN'ers including myself are YNAB fans.

On £100k I'd say this is a money management problem. YNAB will help you turn things around.

Latest YNAB thread fyi

Anyone interested in a YNAB chat/support thread? www.mumsnet.com/Talk/money-matters/4340237-Anyone-interested-in-a-YNAB-chat-support-thread

Probably a lifestyle creep problem. A good budget is what you need. And assess your priorities. What is more important to you? Expensive, organic food vs holidays vs home improvements etc. Working out your priorities and budgeting accordingly is key. You could assign a certain amount of money to each pot according to your wants/needs.

I live in Manchester has anyone received the cold weather payment £25 yet

Between your mortgage, nursey fees and the food shopping it's wiping you out. Our food shopping for a family of 4 with 2 teens is around £130 per week! Same household income as you. We live a very comfortable life. Half the mortgage, and no nursery fees.

I feel your pain OP! I take home just under £84K a year and was having to put unexpected expenses on credit cards at one point, much to my horror.

It’s lifestyle creep - or it was in my case. I set up a budget spreadsheet and the Plum App, and also a Starling account that I transfer my ‘living money’ (food, petrol, clothes) and also amounts to cover car service/mot/insurance and also holiday and Christmas. It was a shocker Jane I realized how much I was frittering away each month.

I now feel much more on top of things, have a cushion of savings and have almost cleared my credit card (I’d carried a balance for years).

It is totally doable. And you’ve done the hard bit.

@SeasideRock thanks for your comment. Great to know you had good experiences with Plum and Starling, will look into these.

I have stumbled across this thread and honestly it’s comforting in a way to know I’m not the only one feeling so utterly miserable at the moment with the cost of living.

it is shit we are all in this situation. I try to be grateful for what I have and am acutely aware others are far worse off than me but I sometimes get so down in the dumps about it all.

I am wishing the next year away so I can gain back money currently spending on nursery (£150p/m) and car loan is paid off (£135p/m). That should give me a bit of breathing space unless things get even worse than they are now.

I am cutting back on the food shop and going without things / picking up cheaper alternatives which aren’t exactly the healthiest but at least we get fed. My 3 year old going through a fussy phase and there’s so much food waste from him I could sob every meal time and want to rip my hair out listening to him whinge he’s hungry 5 mins later 😭

I just had car insurance renewal come through for double the price I’ve been paying this year. Not sure where I’ll find the extra ££ for that, but need my car to get to work as I’m not in public transport route..!

I’ve worked out a budget and my outgoings and split my “disposable” income into 4 (4 weeks) to give me a weekly budget. I will draw that out each week so I can physically see the money. Once it’s gone it’s gone. If anything left at the end of each week it goes into savings or as an extra credit card payment.

Oh and forgot that my car needs two front tyres as they are nearly at the legal limit and I don’t know how I’ll afford them. Been trying to sort since august but never had any extra spare to pay for them.

i have to make £50 a week stretch for food otherwise I won’t have any money for other bills. Sigh.