Cost of living

[Blush301]

Looking for a bit of commiseration and wondering if others are experiencing the same. My husband and I live in Bath (admittedly not the cheapest place but certainly not the most expensive) have a joint income of around £100k and have one child in nursery 3 days a week. We live a relatively comfortable life compared to others but certainly not extravagant by any means. We have takeaway coffees and lunch or brunch out a couple times a month max, but that’s it really. At the end of the month by the time we pay all our bills and food and any other house maintenance costs we have nothing left or are in debt and have no savings. I am terrified of putting our heating on for too long due to the cost so we are all sitting here freezing most of the day since we work from home. Also just had an email from our nursery that the daily rate is going up by 12% in January which will add an extra £100 a month to the bill. We will have to remortgage next year which will probably add another several hundred per month. I would like to have another child but at this rate just don’t see how it’s feasible. I am constantly worrying about money and it’s having a strain on our relationship. It seems all of our peer group have much more money than us, despite having similar jobs and in a lot of cases the wife not working full time- expensive holidays abroad, building house extensions etc. just frustrating and depressing that we both work hard, have good jobs but can barely afford to get by. Is anyone else in the same boat!?

Everything we get we buy on credit or payment plans, the people you know are probably the same. With your salary you could do the same if you wanted- pay a holiday over a year/few years using a credit card, get a loan for an extension, but it’s down to whether you want to put that on yourself. The grass is greener in very few gardens!!!

Nah, I doubt that!

Commiserations isn't going to solve the problem, you need to review your finances to see where your money is going. If you both earn £50k, you have £6k pm coming in, although it will be slightly less if one of you earns most of the income due to higher taxes and loss of CB.

But even so, you should be able to cover the basics and have a decent amount of money left over to save and spend as you like. If not, it's quite likely that you're overspending in a way that makes you see luxuries as essentials, eg spending a lot more than average on groceries, high end mobile phone contracts or expensive PCP deals on cars.

Have a look at Moneysaving Expert for a systematic way to do it and hints along the way to increase your income and reduce costs, which might add up to a noticeable increase in your disposable income.

Do a money makeover and potentially save £1,000s - Money Saving Expert

What on earth are you spending your money on??

Ps I would assume your mortgage is pretty huge and takes up most of your wage so another that says you might think about moving

Surely even spending a couple grand or 3 on childcare and mortgage would still leave quite a lot left ?

@jesterdourt If you plan your finances sensibly you should be able to afford childcare without the whingeing. If you buy an affordable house allowing for interest rate rises etc, you should be able to afford it without whingeing.

Honestly the people today are pathetically spoilt. Don't eat out until your kid is school age, my God the hardship. Turn the heating on for your poor child and stop paying for overpriced lunches that are not within your means! It's not rocket science.

If you are spending money eating out then maybe cut that back until
the childcare situation improves. It’s not easy to balance it all.

@overtheover what happened to make you so bitter? Childcare is expensive, so is housing, end of.

@jesterdourt Bitter no - exasperated with people who over stretch then whinge yes!

Are you one of them?

Pfft £6,000 a month a moaning it's laughable!

And I live in a very affluent place in the South East!

Im on a quarter of OPs income and I can put the heating on luckily

OP if youre on 100k and struggling youre doing something massively wrong and to me you just look like youre bad with money or are a complete moron

I never understand on 100k can think, oh instead of creating a budget and looking for ways to save money they make a post on mumsnet insted :s there is loads of info on money saving expert for example

@jesterdourt Don't be ashamed of downsizing, nobody cares unless you were smug, then they may snigger for a while! And no it's not just throw money away or rent or buy something unaffordable. There is middle ground you know! Perhaps you don't though and that's why you are bitter and sensitive to sensible advice!

yes @overtheover is right downsize if you need

at least you have downsizing as an option! Some of us dont

The best bit is commiserations were requested 😂

Sorry another who doesn't understand how you are struggling on 100k and one child in nursery for 3 days. how old is your child - will they be getting some free hours soon, the scheme is being extended to younger children.

@Babyroobs its simple the OP thinks to post on mumsnet first instead of researching money saving tips and budgeting online....

I'll reserve my commiserations for those who were dragged up and now live on the streets after a lifetime of REAL suffering, and have had their tents taken away by the Government.

Go through your bank statements and cut anything that isn’t necessary.

Could you change nursery to a childminder? When your DC is in nursery turn the heating down and use extra layers, sweaters etc and a blanket on your legs while working. Same for evenings. Could you take a homemade coffee and go for a walk instead of going out to eat? Make a cake and have a slice when you return?

I have to take the op at face value and believe they earn a joint income of 100k and yet are scared to turn the heating on....but its bloody hard. I just hope these sorts of posts do t put off the real needy posting, it would put off mn if i was a newer poster

Downsize is always given as an option. I tried that and the house did not sell because everyone was waiting for a crash. This means that quite a few people are stuck with where they are. Plus, moving is expensive and there is stamp duty to pay again and estate agents fees. Sometimes is not worth it at all.

I will not have a second child as you are struggling as it is. Unless, you have real prospects of pay rises.

@overtheover Im not sure why you think i’m the bitter one!
I was fortunate to buy when house prices were a bit cheaper & im out of the expensive childcare years. I’m not sure why you have taken the fact I’ve not lambasted the OP to mean that I too have over extended myself? 🙄

@Pomonas Yes most sensible people consider all this before they have children and buy houses though!