How much rent do you charge your adult children?

[Redandpinkstripes]

My daughter is 26 and earns more than me. She pays £200 a month. She has 2 showers a day. Dinner cooked and washing and ironing done. I feel bad but with everything going up I am considering asking her to pay £100 a month more as we are struggling financially.
I just feel guilty that I can't provide for her.
How much is fair to ask her to pay?
Thank you x

My 15 yo is about to start a Saturday job. I’ll have 25-50% of his earnings.
I’ll put it away in his savings account, or he’ll just spend it on sweets. I’ve told him it’s a life lesson & it’s not optional.

why does everyone seem to maid for their children? My children have been involved in the washing, cooking and cleaning since they were two! Obviously with supervision and they didn’t necessarily help at that age, it was hard work, but they can now produce meals and put a load of washing on as well as anyone else! … & they do. Sometimes because they’re nagged, sometimes because they want specific clothes washed at a specific time. & because they like to eat.

In my opinion mothering is not to be SMOTHERING & it’s our job to be raising capable adults giving them skills and protecting them from the nasties in the world, but also preparing them for it.

paying your own way fairly is one of those realities! & at 26 she should be doing it. The number doesn’t matter. If you can’t afford what she’s currently paying it’s not fair to you.

I can’t believe there are so many people saying “I don’t believe in charging my children rent” or “I can’t bring myself to charge my children rent” You are not doing them any favours by not preparing them for the fact that you have to pay your way in life, unless you are hoping they never fly the nest! We are talking about grown arse adults not babies. We personally do not need the extra money, however we still charge our eldest rent now she is working and we save it for when she moves out. The amount should depend upon their salary and what you do with it upon your personal circumstances, but don’t think by not charging rent you are in any way doing them a favour or being a better parent you’re just setting them up for a massive life shock when they do eventually move out.

I don’t think it’s anything to do with “teaching them to budget” it’s about not being a bludger to me.

To get the correct amount of rent she should pay, I'd start with this calculation:

• Calculate total household income.
• Calculate mortgage, council tax and any compulsory house insurance, regular maintenance costs, etc.
• Calculate bills (water/electric/gas). Do not include her phone unless you are paying for it.
• Divide by the number of working adults in the house for your baseline figure of what is "a fair share".
• You can then fine tune those numbers based on the greyer areas; who earns the most, who takes the longest showers, who cooks dinner and does laundry, etc until you find a figure you feel looks reasonable to you.
• Propose the new figure to her with the household costs broken down clearly and see what she says.

I don't know where you live or your household situation but £200 a month, on average, seems obscenely low (though admittedly I am in the South and dont own my home 😅).

Good luck OP!

Erm why are you doing their laundry and ironing when they are 26.
You are not a slave. I Stopped at 17 when I told son if it was not in wash basket it wouldn't get washed. Couldn't bring myslef to pick anything else up off floor.

Paying for things and cleaning and cooking for others is not love. Not doing those things doesn’t mean you don’t love someone.

£400 a month.

still cheaper than renting elsewhere

And preparing her for the day she is paying a decent chunk out on bills so it won’t be a shock to the system.

Starting to teach her to budget properly

Why on earth should children regardless of age be contributing to mortgage payments, insurance and maintenance payments?? That is wrong on so many levels. Those calculations in my opinion are for the home owners not children who quite possibly can’t afford to get onto the housing ladder and who should only be covering the additional cost they incur by living there.

some of these replies sound as if parents are trying to get their children to subsidise their own living costs 🙃

When I lived at home 9years ago (teenage mum) I had to pay 340 ppm and buy our food for me and baby I also had to do our washing and ironing and cooking I had to clean the bottom floor of the property (which was hallway mine and baby's bedrooms and 2 bathrooms) and the first lot of stairs and living room daily!

Agree with @loveteacake

Yes it's fine to charge her more if its costing more. She's an adult. Living at home is a choice. A cheaper choice than renting her own place. Also easier for her in effort of household chores.

If anything definitely charge her more and don't feel bad as she has a job and a lot more to spare than most.
If you feel really bad you can save some of what she pays you, for her and not tell her. Then when she may need it ie property purchase you can help

DD is 27 and pays £400pm. For that she gets all her food/toiletries, bills, washing done, most evening meals cooked, and other bits and bobs. She insists on paying that much and actually tries to pay me more, particularly in winter when the bills are sky high. But I refuse to take it.

She brings in just under £2k a month so she has plenty left over. The only bill she pays out of the remainder is her phone, which is about a tenner a month.

It's lovely for those who can afford to let their adult DC live at home for free. We can't (we only have DH's wage coming in and it would support me and DH, but not three adults). Also it's doing adult DC a disservice not to teach them that they have to pay their own way in life.

My son is 37 and he pays 400 a month. He works a minimum wage job and this is his way of helping out.

We took 1/3rd of monthly wage however the majority of that was put into a separate account and gave it to them when moved out. If you live on your own the they should pay the 25% extra council tax you have to pay on top of a bigger share of all bills.

Quite so, you are not a maid.

My DS 22 lives at home at the moment and pays £100 per month inclusive of food (earns £30k. He does his own washing/cleaning. His girlfriend (6 months pregnant) also lives with us (rent free so all money can be saved for their future) earns about £22k. They are moving into my DS (owned) property in next couple of months.
Both save all they can, £100 doesn't cover our expenses for them but thankfully we can cover the cost of running our house without a top up payment.

Our son is currently unemployed and in receipt of unemployment benefit. My husband has asked him to pay £100 a month which is just over a third of his benefit.

That's £10 a day all in. More than reasonable

Our 20 year old pays £300 per month, all bills, food etc included.

Who's paying £10?

I'm always amazed that people don't expect their children to pay their way.
I started work full time at 17 and I paid AT LEAST 25% of my wages to my parents.
I was proud to be paying my way.

I would never not contribute if I was living with my family because as a PP said - if my parents refused to accept rent, I would pay the council tax and other bills. Maybe save for a holiday for them. That some ADULT children who’re working and don’t pay a thing whilst living with their parents indicates low self respect and crap parenting.

I agree. I want my dds to feel they always have a home

My 12 year old som helps with the washing, I tell him I'm Mum not his maid 🤣🤣

God I wish Mumsnet existed ten years ago (or I'd known about it) - we had the most enormous fallout when my DSD suddenly did an about turn and announced she would be returning home after University after all. We calculated that it would cost us about £5 a day in extra food, water, electricity etc and suggested she paid £150 a month which apparently was totally unreasonable. She rarely paid on time and quite often not at all. Personally I would have preferred to have charged her about three times as much (ie just under the going market rent) but saved the remainder for her so she would have money when she was ready to move out. In the end she stayed with us for five years and despite a take home pay of £1100 a month was always heavily in debt - it left a very bad taste all round and I don't think did anyone any favours in the long run.