Should we help daughter out?

[Twospaniels]

Daughter and her partner - their fixed rate mortgage ends in September and to stay with the same Bank their payments will double. They have been online and can find a lower payment mortgage.
However, if the rates go even higher they will struggle to meet even higher payments.

Should we help them out? Or should they just ride it out themselves even if it means they have to sell their house. They are in their 20’s without children.

We have no mortgage and are retired with investments

Can you help them comfortably? If so then I would.

I agree with the first poster, with the caveat that I wouldn't be helping out if they spent money like it was burning a hole in their pocket. So, if they had the latest everything and holidays round the clock etc, I wouldn't be helping out.

In that situation yes of course I would if it was to keep a roof over my DD’s head. I would expect her to be helping herself too though.

If you can help I guess that would be a nice thing to do, but what are you thinking?, lump sum to pay off chunk of mortgage or just to help with a few months of payments?. You say they've found a new mortgage, is this fixed?. If so they wont have the worry about rising costs for at least the next couple of years.

I would also be thinking "are they gonna get married?" If not, I'd personally be less inclined to help out.

Why would you not help them if you’re in a position to do so?

I don’t get Mumsnet sometimes.

Why would any parent stand by and see their child lose their home when in a position to help them?

If you can without causing yourself financial hardship then yes, why wouldn’t you?

No. Only help them if they are about to lose the house. They are young and currently learning how to budget and make important financial decisions, if you intervene, you will stunt this very important phase of growing up and disturb the balance they currently have as a couple.

@Whadda depends on her DD though imo.

I have colleagues who help their kids out, but said kids smoke, work part time and generally take the piss. No way would I help my kids out if they did stuff like that

Perhaps you could help on a monthly basis or an ad-hoc basis? That way the partner doesn't get the benefit of a £££ cash injection in the case of a split.

If they're decent, sensible people and you can afford to, why wouldn't you?

I will always try to help my daughter out if she really needs it.

Get them to check with a whole of the market broker sounds sensible to try to fix at an amount they can afford now/ 5 years. L&C broker are good. Then if they fix they are future proofing against more rate rises.

My husband and I were really worried about how much ours was going to go up. We are both in our 40’s so not the same age. But we would have had to have moved.

I know my mother in law would have helped us out. Because that is what family do. So yes. I would help my son if I could. But not forever. It would be to give them time to find somewhere else cheaper to live. But would let them do that without making them have bad credit or loose their house.

@Whadda absolutely agree. Why would anyone contemplate watching DC on the brink of been stressed because they are about to become homeless.

Is there a back story to this OP? Perhaps it depends how close you are to your DC.

I don’t know it’s very difficult, in an ideal world yes most definitely, but if you give money or lump sum, if they then spend money on something you deemed frivolous. Like a new TV, you may think why did they buy that one and not a smaller one for example, and say they had a meal out, would you think oh they could have saved that. As giving money almost always comes with strings attached and someone almost always starts to feel resentment.

Well, I wouldn't let them lose their home but I'd want to see what steps they're taking to avoid this before I gave them money.

It's a good opportunity to learn how to budget, look to earn more money, take in a lodger ...

Oh come on people! Mortgage payments are doubling! One of ours has just gone from £650 to £1400 pcm. Of course we're helping! You can't watch them suffer and struggle through no fault of their own.
I'd be astonished if a couple who have been managing their mortgage will make off with a parent's money and go on wall to wall holidays when their payments have just doubled!

Of course you should help them if you can!

Of you can, you should help.

There is a group of people, (esp on MN?) who seems to think that, because they are adults, parents shouldn’t step in, they’ll be taken advantage off etc…

I think this is your child . If you can help, do it.
id say do it even if they don’t ask.
People are struggling much more now than they’ve ever been. I couldn’t look at my dcs struggling when I knew I could easily help them.

Because of course, they are in that situation because they are bad at budgeting

If you can then ideally a lump sum amount with an understanding that she protects it with a deed of trust. Then they will have less of a mortgage.

Could you seriously sleep nights knowing your dd was struggling?

God-some people are harsh.
And old fashioned! Very depressing.

OP-help if you can. But maybe take advice on the most efficient and helpful way to do it!

I would only do so if the money was iron clad ring fenced.

and how many other children do you have? Apologies if I missed it.

how much do they need?