Should we help daughter out?

[Twospaniels]

Daughter and her partner - their fixed rate mortgage ends in September and to stay with the same Bank their payments will double. They have been online and can find a lower payment mortgage.
However, if the rates go even higher they will struggle to meet even higher payments.

Should we help them out? Or should they just ride it out themselves even if it means they have to sell their house. They are in their 20’s without children.

We have no mortgage and are retired with investments

Help them if you can do so comfortably.

If their rate in ends in September they can lock in a rate now? I think most banks are allowing you to lock in remortgage rate 6 months before your current rate ends, at least that was the situation in April when we renewed. Can they speak to a broker ASAP?

I was just thinking the exact same thing @Whadda

Why on earth would you even need to ask this?

That being said, I'd ask his parents to chip in too.

I would definitely if they’re frugal & still struggling I.e not going on holidays, new cars, eating out all the time.

I am saving now (my DD is 7) so that I’m in a position to help her in the future should she need it.

If you can help it would be nice, you are not obliged to but if so make sure what you gift is ring fenced for your daughter in case of a split.
At their ages with no children is it possible they could both take on additional jobs of some kind?
I prefer to help people who try to help themselves iykwim, so that would have an impact on my decision in your shoes.

If you're not going to put yourself in financial hardship and your DD is trying hard/doing her best then I'd absolutely help.

Really just really......If indeed this is real.🙄

You would stand by and watch their credit score get absolutely trashed for the longest time when you can help.

Ultimately it is just reducing their inheritance,why wouldn't you.

Jeez, some people.😡

I wouldn’t help if both of them weren’t working hard to pull money in. Extra shifts, bar work.

I wouldn’t help if they were drink or drug addicts.

I wouldn’t help without making sure that siblings knew it would be coming off inheritance.

I wouldn’t help if it meant that the money wouldn’t be ringfenced.

there’s lots of reasons I wouldn’t help.

What would help look like? Help making the monthly payments? Or a lump sum to add to help pay off more of the mortgage and hopefully secure lower repayments?

If it's not sustainable it's not sustainable and they're better to be realistic and live within their means. If it was me in the daughters position that is what I would prefer to do rather than being reliant on a parent to help - what happens if you need your money for something else? Or long term care?

Any other children?

Exactly-why would you not

^ Good advice especially as they aren't married.

What would your reasons be for NOT helping them?
Other children so unfairness?
They are not cutting their cloth accordingly and if they did they'd be fine.
Or, just the fact that their are adults so should be standing on their own two feet.
If it's the latter and you can actually afford to help then I'd think you were pretty mean not to.

Do you have other kids?

Do you have spare money? Just because you don't have a mortgage doesn't mean you have spare cash

If you do this then make sure the money is properly ring fenced as belonging to your daughter. That might be tricky to do.

Some people are bad at budgeting. It doesn't occur to them to prioritise or cut back. We had a friend begging us for money because she couldn't afford to buy nappies or food for her DC. Stupidly, we sent £50.

A couple of days later she was back with a screenshot of her bank account - because she was at/over her OD limit, the bank hadn't let her spend any money and she wanted more. I offered to help her look at her budget and go with her to the bank to sort it out but she refused.

The screenshot included a Sky bill of £90 and a mobile phone bill of nearly £50. We spend nowhere near that amount on TV and phones between us and we're financially comfortable.

If we were deep in overdraft and struggling for groceries it would have been cancelled months ago. And yes you can cancel it if you need to they just go to the back of the queue for the money you don't have.

I would consider that if you are in the UK its a good way to avoid her exposure to inheritance tax if you help her out now (and hopefully live another 7 years). BUT I would investigate fencing the money off so its only for her and for her to only use with property.
They are young seem unmarried - makes no sense to put your hard earned money into their pot incase their relationship does not go the distance.

Why wouldn't you?!!

@Whadda Exactly.

If she can afford it, then why is this a question? I would love to understand what she gains by watching her child struggle unnecessarily.

OP my DD and SiL are in the same position but their mortgage fix ends next February. They have 2 DS's though. I'm planning on helping them. My DD has already cut back in anticipation of a much higher mortgage. They are not having a holiday this year and SiL has a landmark 40th birthday next year but DD says he won't be having a big celebration just a BBQ in their garden. Hers is going from 1.9 percent to whatever rate will be next year. She can get one 6 months before her old one runs out. I know they are already worried about it and I don't want DGS's losing out. I already do the gifting thing each year but it's only £3k a year but split between 3 children is only £2k each a year because DH does it too. I know she always pays the gift money straight off their mortgage so she is sensible with money. If you can afford to help why would you see your DD struggle and possibly lose her home? In my life money is for spending when necessary. I have savings but enough for me and DH. I'd never see my DC struggle if I could help them. I've never forgotten my dear old Dad helped me by giving me my deposit for my first house and bought me my first used car too. Families help each other.

I would help them, but I would want that money secure in case they split up. No matter how much you like her partner, so many couples split up and I wouldn't want my money going with somebody e.g. who was cheating.

Because of course, they are in that situation because they are bad at budgeting

Where did I imply they were?

When they took out the mortgage it would have been stress tested to at least 6% so they should be OK for now.

Anyway, the OP hasn't been back ...

If you can afford it, then yes, of course I would. Have you considered future planning in terms of reducing IHT liability, if that's applicable? It may make financial sense to move some money to your children now to reduce any IHT liability in the future.

My mum has given us a lot of what would have become my inheritance early, which has reduced the IHT bill now she has gone and also given us a lot of freedom in the time of our life we are financially most precarious (two young children in nursery, etc.)

I imagine most people who's mortgage payments suddenly double are not feckless losers who can't budget.
DD has been doing fine. Never asks for a thing and their budgeting is close to the bone. A little in savings, no debt apart from mortgage.
They've been knocked sideways by this sudden jump (650 to 1400) They have a child in nursery as both are full time, with one doing an evening job as well.
Hopefully helping them won't be long term. We'll help with childcare costs and a bit towards the mortgage. They'll tighten their belts where they can. And so will we, for a little while. We have other kids, and have helped them all here and there. It all works out equally ish over time. We've only ever given what we can afford, and said if they can pay back, great, it can go back in the pot of general family availablity.

I think it's abhorrent to expect people who are in a position not of their own making, to struggle and suffer just to stand on their own two feet. For what - to prove their worth? We're not talking about layabouts who can't be bothered to work full time. Based on @Twospaniels post this is a specific situation.
I'm very glad there are people with a similar attitude to mine on here.

And, if, with a little bit of financial leeway they have an evening out with friends or take the little one to the zoo, then we're not going to hold it against them.

Why wouldn't you help them?

I loaned my daughter 100 k (I'm not wealthy, circumstances dictates that I was able to do his) so she could buy her flat. I'll take that back without interest when she's ready to sell and move on

I didn't think twice about it because we are relatively comfortable and she needed it. The only way I can see not helping out my kids would be if I feasibly couldn't OR they were feckless and it would cause them more harm than good