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Cost of living

Stretching your budget? Share tips and advice to discuss budgeting and energy saving here. For the latest deals and discounts, sign up for Mumsnet Moneysaver emails.

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Original poster

Should we help daughter out?

111 replies

Twospaniels · 11/07/2023 17:53

Daughter and her partner - their fixed rate mortgage ends in September and to stay with the same Bank their payments will double. They have been online and can find a lower payment mortgage.
However, if the rates go even higher they will struggle to meet even higher payments.

Should we help them out? Or should they just ride it out themselves even if it means they have to sell their house. They are in their 20’s without children.

We have no mortgage and are retired with investments

OP posts:

Ifonlyiknewwhat · 15/07/2023 09:17

DaphneduM · 15/07/2023 08:14

Absolutely you should help them out. This is what decent parents do (if financially able to)! We gifted a deposit to our only daughter when she married, help with childcare (an absolute joy and privilege to enjoy a close relationship with our grandchild) and they know we are always supportive. The caveat to all that is that they both work hard, have both got promotions/better paying jobs in the last few years - it's tough out there for young people in their 20's/30's. I like to help them now - it will be her inheritance anyway - so it's lovely to see them in their home which is actually a fairly modest semi. Go for it OP!!!!

Ah you sound like such a wonderful parent, your daughter is very lucky.

DaphneduM · 15/07/2023 12:25

@Ifonlyiknewwhat Thank you.

Windercar · 16/07/2023 17:06

Do not lend or invest money into her boyfriend without a legal loan agreement. If they split up he’s essentially had your money when it could have helped your children

Bananas1350 · 16/07/2023 18:57

Not sure if it has been said. But be careful in terms of how much u give durning one year. Is it £3000 a year without paying tax?

LlynTegid · 16/07/2023 19:00

Help them out, yes, but in return for some cost cutting by them. Smaller car would be one I'd add to the things suggested (or no car at all).

Brexiteermorons · 17/07/2023 15:22

As a adult, able to make
my own decisions in life wouldn’t even cross my mind for my parents to help me out financially, even though they are in a position to do so. They have worked hard for money and should
enjoy it. I have made my decisions in life and it is up tI me to deal with them, not my parents

johnnydeppsslipper · 17/07/2023 15:39

@Twospaniels

I am the dd that earns well and thankfully so does my dh so we don't need help financially.

My sibling is the opposite and my dp constantly financially help them.

I do feel resentful at times mainly because the reason for siblings lack of finances is their lack of ability to even slightly budget,think take away at least once a week and once on weekends,both smoke,expensive farm shop meat more than once a week etc etc

I have in the past helped sibling financially quite a bit but I've stepped back due to the above.

midnightblue12 · 17/07/2023 20:41

If you can help them out, why wouldn't you?

berksandbeyond · 17/07/2023 21:17

Why can they not take a new fixed deal? They should be able to do that now if their current one ends in September, they can lock in for another 5 years and then it won’t matter if it goes up again?

Zebedee55 · 18/07/2023 09:35

Well, I would and have (in the past), helped my two out. They and their partners work hard, and don't waste money.

Even if a lump sum would complicate things, you could pay for their shopping/fuel bills etc, every month to ease the load.🙂

Peony654 · 18/07/2023 09:40

I think first they should look for the best deal and extend their mortgage term. Id help them as a last resort - not if they’re spending a lot of money on unnecessary stuff. She might say no - I would.

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