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Original poster

Drowning under the stress

82 replies

Drowning101 · 16/05/2023 10:17

There's just no give. No let up.

Before, we could always find some money from somewhere to tide us over until pay day. Not anymore.

It's going to cost me £80 to get school uniform for September. No idea where this is going to come from.

I have no trousers. I'm literally wearing old pj bottoms out and about. Priced up six pairs of trousers £142. I use vinted for 90% of stuff but I can't get trousers on there.

DS needs some new clothes for the summer. Everything he has is too small. Found lots of bits on vinted but I can't afford them at the moment.

Can't save a penny anymore.

Last two weeks before payday are always rough. Surviving on £30. Before, wasn't a problem there was always somewhere we could take some money from, Savings Pot, Christmas savings, etc. But it's all gone now.

I am so stressed and worried and I don't know what the solution is. Even considered selling the house but that's not an option either. Wouldn't release any cash because houses have gone up so much.

Any tips or advice to try and get through this? It feels hopeless because there's no end in sight. Prices just keep rising and things keep getting worse.

OP posts:
Original poster
Drowning101 · 16/05/2023 10:25

Oh, and my heated blanket just broke. My lifeline over winter. Biggest worry at the moment though is November when our fixed rate mortgage ends. I have no idea what we'll do.

OP posts:
Skinnermarink · 16/05/2023 10:25

My local church playgroup does a clothes swap shop. Bring something you take something. Local charity 3x children’s clothes for £1. Anything like that near you? Charity shops are probably going to be cheaper than eBay or vinted once you have to take £4+ postage into account.

Trousers do not need to cost that much for you, surely? And does your school do a secondhand uniform sale?

Orangesandlemons77 · 16/05/2023 10:27

Hi there, I understand we're feeling similar. Just a few things which might help.

I found the school helpeful, sometimes they will fund part of the uniform costs if you ask, they also can have Uniform Sales for secondhand uniform.

For the clothes for you and him, I have found charity shops have got a lot better and have some really good stuff in atm, some new as well. Might be worth a look.

I have heard some things about the cost of food might be going down soon. Not sure about this but have seen some good money off vouchers for grocery shopping recently. e.g. £20 off £100, £8 off £50

As an aside, if you or anyone else is interested, by bank is doing a swap offer atm where you get £125 just pm me if anyone wants my details

Flowers OP hope things improve

Original poster
Drowning101 · 16/05/2023 10:31

Skinnermarink · 16/05/2023 10:25

My local church playgroup does a clothes swap shop. Bring something you take something. Local charity 3x children’s clothes for £1. Anything like that near you? Charity shops are probably going to be cheaper than eBay or vinted once you have to take £4+ postage into account.

Trousers do not need to cost that much for you, surely? And does your school do a secondhand uniform sale?

I'm quite large so finding decent comfy trousers is very hard. I also have sensory issues which limit the kind of material I can wear.

I agree charity shops are cheaper than vinted when postage is taken into account. Never find anything in my local ones though. Have a terrible selection of kids clothes and the adult sizes are always to small.

School do have a second hand uniform shop I think so will definitely check that out.

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 16/05/2023 10:32

God it’s just unremitting isn’t it? And so stressful. I’m ok now but I’ve been where you are and it just feels overwhelming.

could you sell his too small clothes on Vinted to get the cash to buy new?

im not going to patronise you by asking if you’ve checked your utility bills or tries shopping at Aldi because I’m sure you’re doing all the obvious stuff. Just want to say that I’m hoping things improve for you soon.

Sheepsheepeverywhere · 16/05/2023 10:34

How old is your ds op? Easier to get second hand for primary school dc ime. Any local markets? Charity shops? Gumtree?. Ask at the council about school uniform help . Some do vouchers for a winter coat and shoes..

Original poster
Drowning101 · 16/05/2023 10:41

BitOutOfPractice · 16/05/2023 10:32

God it’s just unremitting isn’t it? And so stressful. I’m ok now but I’ve been where you are and it just feels overwhelming.

could you sell his too small clothes on Vinted to get the cash to buy new?

im not going to patronise you by asking if you’ve checked your utility bills or tries shopping at Aldi because I’m sure you’re doing all the obvious stuff. Just want to say that I’m hoping things improve for you soon.

Thanks. Yes, it totally is.

I have a few of our older clothes listed on vinted but in the last few months I've made about £7.50. I think the problem we have is most of our stuff gets used to the point of holes before we buy anything else so by that point, most of it isn't a lot of good to anyone else!

OP posts:
Original poster
Drowning101 · 16/05/2023 10:42

Sheepsheepeverywhere · 16/05/2023 10:34

How old is your ds op? Easier to get second hand for primary school dc ime. Any local markets? Charity shops? Gumtree?. Ask at the council about school uniform help . Some do vouchers for a winter coat and shoes..

Yeah, he's in primary. The younger years so that does make it easier. I think the second hand uniform shop is quite good so I'll ask the school what days it's open and see what I can get from there for September.

OP posts:
Quitelikeit · 16/05/2023 10:45

What’s your situation

Do you both work?

how many children?

Can either of you take on extra work in the evenings?

where do you shop for food?

How much are your outgoings?

Leafytrees · 16/05/2023 10:47

Just on the uniforms - can you start a uniform swap shop if your school doesn't have one already? One of the mums at ours set up a FB page and now people give away all their old uniform on there as it becomes available.

Original poster
Drowning101 · 16/05/2023 10:50

Quitelikeit · 16/05/2023 10:45

What’s your situation

Do you both work?

how many children?

Can either of you take on extra work in the evenings?

where do you shop for food?

How much are your outgoings?

DH works. He's out all day everyday. I don't. I'm unwell and unable to do so. 1 DC who lives with us. 4 who live with DH's ex but stay regularly. Shop for food wherever we can get it the cheapest. Outgoings are high. We have approx. 400 a month to pay for food, fuel and anything else after direct debits. Fuel costs high due to DHs commute.

OP posts:
EmmaGrundyForPM · 16/05/2023 10:58

If you're too unwell to work, is that short-term or long-term? If long term, have you explored all possible benefits? It might be worth talking to a charity which advises about benefits. Our local foodbank offers that.

Original poster
Drowning101 · 16/05/2023 11:02

EmmaGrundyForPM · 16/05/2023 10:58

If you're too unwell to work, is that short-term or long-term? If long term, have you explored all possible benefits? It might be worth talking to a charity which advises about benefits. Our local foodbank offers that.

Potentially long term. I do need to look into this and maybe consider an application for PIP but I'm quite worried, I hate scrutiny and have heard bad things about the assessorsand most applications rejected, etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
Drowning101 · 16/05/2023 11:08

DH has been approved for a CC. 7k limit. Not ideal but he said I can use that to get the things we need. Another thing to worry about, more debt but needs must. Just have to hope something drastic in the future puts us into a better position that means we can pay it off.

OP posts:
readbooksdrinktea · 16/05/2023 11:13

I understand applying for PIP can be scary. But I would definitely look into it.

Orangesandlemons77 · 16/05/2023 11:18

Drowning101 · 16/05/2023 11:02

Potentially long term. I do need to look into this and maybe consider an application for PIP but I'm quite worried, I hate scrutiny and have heard bad things about the assessorsand most applications rejected, etc.

Show quote history

Give it a try, might be helpful.

TeaKitten · 16/05/2023 11:26

Are you claiming universal credit too OP?

Original poster
Drowning101 · 16/05/2023 11:34

TeaKitten · 16/05/2023 11:26

Are you claiming universal credit too OP?

No, DH earns too much. But will definitely look into applying for PIP.

OP posts:
Original poster
Drowning101 · 16/05/2023 11:34

readbooksdrinktea · 16/05/2023 11:13

I understand applying for PIP can be scary. But I would definitely look into it.

Thanks. Also, love your username!

OP posts:
readbooksdrinktea · 16/05/2023 11:37

Drowning101 · 16/05/2023 11:34

Thanks. Also, love your username!

Show quote history

😊

Good luck! Hope things get better soon.

CiderJolly · 16/05/2023 11:42

Go to a food bank for a few weeks.

Use the money you save on food to buy trousers.

Ask the school for support with the uniform.

Credit card is a bad idea.

You will be broke if you’re not working- that’s life. Focus on doing everything you can to get yourself ready for work- think of types of work that are feasible even with your health conditions- I don’t see what choice you have if your mortgage is going up and you don’t have enough to pay basic bills.

ChickpeaPie · 16/05/2023 11:45

Have you tried eBay as well as Vinted? Do you need 6 pairs of trousers, especially if you aren’t working? I would have thought 3 would be ok.

Greyandwhitecat · 16/05/2023 11:51

If you go to the citizens advice bureau they will tell you what you are entitled to op

Disco2023 · 16/05/2023 11:53

There are great suggestions on here, apply for Pip it’s worth a try, food banks or community shops that are cheaper. Contact the local council some have hardship funds.

Getting a credit card will be a bad idea in my own opinion, creating problems further down the line. It will be too easy to spend on it. Trust me I’ve been there

Then where is the money plus interest to pay it off. It took me years to pay mine off.

Orangesandlemons77 · 16/05/2023 11:53

I got some rather large soft cotton trousers from an online shop called Woolovers, they were selling the larger sizes in the sale.