Drowning under the stress

[Drowning101]

There's just no give. No let up.

Before, we could always find some money from somewhere to tide us over until pay day. Not anymore.

It's going to cost me £80 to get school uniform for September. No idea where this is going to come from.

I have no trousers. I'm literally wearing old pj bottoms out and about. Priced up six pairs of trousers £142. I use vinted for 90% of stuff but I can't get trousers on there.

DS needs some new clothes for the summer. Everything he has is too small. Found lots of bits on vinted but I can't afford them at the moment.

Can't save a penny anymore.

Last two weeks before payday are always rough. Surviving on £30. Before, wasn't a problem there was always somewhere we could take some money from, Savings Pot, Christmas savings, etc. But it's all gone now.

I am so stressed and worried and I don't know what the solution is. Even considered selling the house but that's not an option either. Wouldn't release any cash because houses have gone up so much.

Any tips or advice to try and get through this? It feels hopeless because there's no end in sight. Prices just keep rising and things keep getting worse.

Have you tried freecycle Op? Or sometimes sellers on Vinted will accept lower offers. I just sold a pair of new shoes , never worn for £3.50 instead of the £5 I advertised initially. They were £25 new so someone is getting a bargain.
EBay is also pretty good for cheaper items.

Re school uniform . Don’t buy logo branded clothes, it’s not necessary (or even a legal requirement) Buy jumpers from supermarkets and then just attach a patch logo that most uniform providers sell.

@Drowning101 there are lots more on Amazon that might fit your bill. Search something like plus wide legged jogger.

When I mentioned logo branded uniform, I meant the School logo, in case that wasn’t clear.

Lots of the supermarkets do 25% off uniform in June/July time so I try and buy then - something like Money Saving Expert usually has the dates once known

We have a uniform swap shop donation only and also if my kids go up a size I offer to friends/year group what’s app so maybe if you have something like that it’s always worth an ask.
before I buy does anyone have this size available
Shoes Diechmann usually do a 2 for x amount over the summer holidays so that could help.
Join Olio or too good to go app for better food deals and also maybe clothes, have a look on marketplace on fb.
our town is amazing as if a family/person etc is struggling they post anonymously on the local spotted page and get help even if 20 people donate a £1 to get electricity top up.
lots of people are struggling nowadays and I don’t see harm in asking, on fb you can remain anonymous on some pages.
check if you’re entitled to any support
School can help with food bank vouchers to save some money.

Check your DD and make sure you’re not paying anything you don’t use.
you can get reduced 3 month energy payments to help if that’s too much if you pay by DD.
negotiate any subscriptions to see if you can make any savings.
make use of saving schemes at supermarkets

I wouldn’t risk building up debt on clearpay/catalogues or credit cards as can take years to sort if it spirals.

Sainsbury's do some wide leg trousers
https://tuclothing.sainsburys.co.uk/search/yoga-pants/?clickOrigin=header%3Asearch%3Amanual

Also there’s an amazing page on fb called work from home hub, she’s post loads of opportunities and feedback has been amazing from SAHM to those with disabilities, it could be as little as a couple of hours a day just to cover some small expenses and not put too much pressure on yourself.
you can also do AttaPoll questionnaires to earn pennies here and there but if you do it regularly it all adds up but if you do then setup a new email just for that because you get a lot of spam.

Try your local Facebook pages for uniform / clothes. My town has one just for school uniform and a lot of it is free. Also ask on Freegle / Trash Nothing apps. And ebay. Often quite a lot of uniform on there if you just want the usual colours i.e. grey / navy / red.

Ask school if they can help with uniform. Sometimes there are funds available (ask the school office- they can direct you to the right person). Do they sell secondhand uniform? (Usually this is done by the PTA)

These trousers might work for you.
https://www.marksandspencer.com/cotton-rich-straight-leg-joggers/p/clp22511885?color=BLACK#intid=pid_pg1pip48g2r3c2

Do you have a lidl near you?

Ours does school uniform , usually around the time the break up for summer. It's cheap and it lasts

Please don't take out a credit card - If you can't pay your bills at the moment, you won't be able to make the repayments and you'll run up debts.

Check all your outgoings and cut anything that isn't essential. Then focus on how you and your dh can bring in more income.

If you think you're entitled to PIP then apply. You've got nothing to lose.

Receiving PIP doesn't mean you mustn't work, you can do both. Maybe ask the job centre for support in finding work.

Depending on your health issues, there may be roles you can do. A friend of mine babysits through an agency, she works most Friday nights for a family, and gets £12 an hour to sit in front of the TV and drink cups of tea. So an extra £50 per week, £200 per month.

Good luck with it all

Echoing the PP who suggest getting the CAB to help you apply for PIP. They know how to phrase things correctly. You may get turned down - this is common. If so, appeal - again the CAB can help with this. Many, many decisions not to award PIP are overturned at the appeal stage (which just goes to show how crap the system is...). It may take a long time - but if awarded, your payment will be backdated to the date you first applied.

I work and my partner doesn't, I thought I earned too much for UC, I did before we had a baby. But we filled out an online calculator to check and it turns out we do qualify for a bit, now we have a child. So in my recent experience, it's worth double checking! Xx

I think the stress of feeling like you're drowning can make it difficult to see things clearly.

You seem very focussed on clothing. When my DD was going through leggings like anything, I posted on my FB feed that if people had older girls to think of me when they had hand-me-downs. I think sometimes people don't want to 'insult' you by offering, but are more than happy to pass things on if they know they can be used. You can use local groups to ask for Uniform now, at the end of school year, that might help you our for September.

I do have complex health issues - lupus, sjorgens, Addisons and asthma. I am under 3 specialists. I was awarded enhanced rates on both elements as an ongoing award. They didn’t even give me an assessment, they did however ring my rheumatologist and spoke to him. So they based it on that and the form. I am in several health groups and lots of people - with needs not as severe as mine- are successful at claiming Pip first time. Join some of the Facebook groups for PIP, some have 60k plus members and you can learn a lot about the process that way.

I get the focus on how many trousers you need, but I think the November remortgage is likely to have far more impact.
Have you checked any calculators to see what is available in the market and how much more you are likely to be paying?

See, the problem is, we don't think it's likely that we'll be able to get another mortgage, I was working FT when we were accepted for our mortgage. None of the affordability calculators like us now I'm not working. It seems like our only option is to just stay with the current provider when our fixed term ends and deal with whatever the rise is going to be but honestly, I'm dreading it. Head in the sand. Hoping something will have changed by November, either with mortgage rates or our personal circumstances. A year or so ago, we tried to add a small amount to our mortgage to replace the roof due to leaks, they accepted it was a valid reason but we were rejected based on my lack of income. Still haven't been able to replace roof. Not even partially. DH has done some temp repairs to stop the leaks.

I applied ( I have Parkinson’s/Parkinsonism), I got full rate, and due to undiagnosed eye issues , Nero related unknown bus pass.
Help with form, had phone interview, and awarded soon after, applied October last year and received monies mid December.
You need this now, be brutally honest, always state worse day

You need to talk to a whole of market mortgage advisor.
You maybe able to extend your term or switch to part interest only.
What is your lender’s current standard variable rate? Can you input that into a calculator to find out how much you are likely to be paying?
This should be a priority.

Search for a uniform bundle on Vinted or Ebay. I have bought 3x bundles already, each a £5. I don't think you need a logo? I just searched "red uniform bundle girl age 5-6" ...

Where are you based? Have you applied for household support vouchers?

Have you tried lucy locket loves loungewear trousers? They go up to a size 3 which is 20-26. They are very loose and super soft fabric. Quite often they do fiver Friday offers on the website. Or there are a few Facebook selling groups dedicated to the brand.

Or even making a post on the free pages on Facebook/olio for clothes for you and ds. I would take whatever is offered, use what is suitable and sell the rest on vinted to buy what isn't. When we were really struggling I did this, got a super cheap £5 bundle from Facebook, used what we needed for dd, then resold individually the rest to fund her shoes. Most people just want rid of the stuff, and when I'm in a good position with money I have given plenty away too.

Do you have any old technology/toys/random household items you can sell? Research as some things are worth more than you expect, I sold some old computer games, toys and made more than I expected.

Trying to cut costs elsewhere, do you have a local community kitchen? We have one where you pay £4 and get at least 2 bags of food shopping. Cooking from scratch, lots of vegetarian food and batch cooking has stretched our budget. Going to the supermarket later for yellow label things for the freezer, using olio for free food. I've looked at the too good to go, loads of people really rate it but due to various food intolerances I havent done it.

If you are at the point where you are wearing old pjs out of the house, then you really need to start claiming the benefits you are entitled to due to your ill health. That's what they are there for. There is hundreds of thousands (if not more) of unclaimed benefits sloshing around in the government's budgets.

Please please make steps to start claiming what you are entitled to, as this will really help your family.

I’ve got some soft cotton trouser if you need them. Size 14 and 16. Was just going to clear out my wardrobe. Boden, Monki, Next.

I’ve got coats too.

Op

What is your health condition?

In your shoes if you cannot afford the mortgage now then once you go onto the SVR then your spare £400 a month is going to be severely compromised

It seems the issue is you not working ? So we’re thinks manageable before you quit work?

Are you getting adequate treatment for your condition?

Have you considered selling up?